Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Random Writing Assignments!


So, it's been almost a year since I took my last fiction writing class, and I got to thinking today, I never posted anything from that class. (Aside from my final project, The Real Story of Little Red Riding Hood - If you missed it, you can find that HERE) So today I decided to just randomly post a bunch of the assignments.

One week our assignments were to observe people. In the first one we were sent out to walk around the campus and follow someone from afar, and write down everything about them with enough detail that you could describe them as though they were a character in a book. We were to give them a name, and read our descriptions to the class, fielding any questions about them that we could. Yeah, that was a weird assignment. So here's mine.

Joseph

I started inside Lagomarcino Hall, and watched out the window until I saw someone coming, so I'd have enough time to make observations and write everything down, without being seen. Once I found someone, I decided he looked like a Joseph, Joe for short. He was walking quickly, with his hands in his pockets, looking straight ahead. He was wearing a maroon jacket, jeans, and white sneakers. He had black hair and glasses, and he was wearing black earbud headphones, and carrying a black backpack. Once he'd passed, I left the building and followed him for a little ways. He cut between Science Hall II and Wilhelm Hall, and went into the backdoor of the Physics Hall. I did not follow any further.

~

The next assignment that was to describe some friends or family. Not so much their personalities, this was more about the way they look or dress, in enough detail that could be used if you were writing them as a character. So I chose my cousins, Shaina, Sasha, and Sarah. They are all sisters, but they are all completely different, and that is very evident, even in just the kinds of clothes they wear, so I thought they'd be perfect for this assignment.

Shaina

Shaina usually wears jeans and t-shirts, though she often wears blouses layered with sweaters. She likes to mix up her look a lot. One day she could be wearing a blouse she got in Latvia, and the next she could be wearing an outfit completely inspired by the 80's. With everything she almost always wears sneakers, and while in the house she wears socks. She has a rather large jewelry collection, with a very eclectic mix of styles. She has everything from vintage 80's jewelry, to a single T-Rex stud that she wears in one ear.

Sasha

Sasha only wears vintage dresses, in sensible styles, usually of a single color, and she probably has around five that she switches out regularly. At least two of them are completely covered in paint splatters, and, as she does a lot of paint/craft work, those are probably the ones she wears the most. When she goes out she usually wears one of the nicer ones, along with a pair of flats. And while she wears flats out, in the house she is always barefoot. She doesn't usually wear much jewelry.

Sarah

Sarah always wears flowy, flowery, full length skirts, along with single color t-shirts or three button tops. On top of that, she almost always wears an apron. When she goes out she often wears a scarf, usually a light silk one, and she usually wears sneakers or boots. In the house she switches between being barefoot and wearing socks. She usually wears earrings and/or a necklace, and many of her pieces of jewelry are inspired by nature, with little creatures like birds or foxes on them.

~

At the end of that week, we were told to listen to people on the bus, or in public, to see if we could overhear any interesting conversations, and then the next week we were to bring them to class to turn into a story. Well, if you know me, then you know I do that already. In fact, I'd already had a conversation ready for the class without even realizing it. (A conversation that you've probably already read HERE.) However, this story was supposed to be written with a partner, taking both of our overheard conversations,  and combining them into one. I'm not sure it was that successful, but you can still read it for yourself.

~

Eustace & Marie

The elderly couples sat quietly, eating their mashed potatoes and meatloaf.

"So I just read about something called biphasal sleeping patterns," Marie said, Breaking the silence.

"What?" asked Eustace.

"Biphasal sleeping patterns." Marie repeated. "There was this study in Minnesota about sleeping patterns." she explained as Eustace turned up his hearing aid.

"There was monophasal, biphasal, and poloyphasal, but biphasal is the best."

"What's that?" he asked.

"That's where people take two, four hour naps instead of sleeping eight hours at night."

"Why?" he asked, just as their cell phone buzzed.

"It's Dylan," Marie said, looking at the phone. "He texted earlier, and said his friend Jaden told him we were dope, so I texted back and told him that I was sorry we were dopey, and he just replied, 'No grandma, being dope is good!' So I guess things have changed. Back in the day, calling someone a dope was an insult!"

"Mmhmm." Eustace replied, and went back to his meatloaf.

~

So that was a bunch of my random fiction class assignments. I do still have a few more though, and those are a lot more fictional than these turned out to be. These ended up being more about real people with some fictional elements thrown in. I'll put together the rest of the actual fiction assignments, and I'll put them out as a seperate post in a couple days.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

#TrueFacts (January 2018)


Did you know that the weasel is actually a ferret with asthma? Think about it. #TrueFact

Did you know that corn comes in a rather surprising variety of colors? You can find it in yellow, white, red, blue, orange, purple, tartan plaid, and a sort of a hot pink/fuchsia color. #TrueFact

Did you know that instead of using pie, Italian clowns lasagna each other in the face? #TrueFact

Did you know that Elton John secretly traveled to China to genetically engineer a race of glitter pandas? The Chinese government was utterly outraged when they discovered the perceived degradation of one of their national symbols, but those pandas are adorable AND fabulous! #TrueFact

Did you know you can make your own sweet and sour sauce by mixing chocolate syrup and pickle juice? Lemon juice and caramel sauce will also work in a pinch. #TrueFact

Did you know that the tambourine was invented as a rattling metal pie for robots? #TrueFact

Did you know that people often wonder what's wrong with me? #TrueFact

Did you know that babies can't sing? Seriously, they're horrible! #TrueFact

Did you know that King Kong was actually hundreds of small gorillas assembled and united together to form one giant, mega-gorilla? #TrueFact

Did you know that after its debut on the beloved family sitcom, Full House, back in 1992, 'Michelle's Tuna Cream' became the highest grossing, tuna-based, ice cream dessert in the entire world? It is estimated that over 17 people bought a carton! #TrueFact

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Out of Context!


If you know me, then you know I like random humor.  And you probably know that this humor is not for everyone. In fact, there's probably a good chance you won't even understand half of what I find funny. You might even think it's stupid. Or just dumb. And you'll give me a weird look, and slowly walk away, wondering if I was sniffing that jug of mysterious blue liquid again.

So with that in mind, just know that there's a very good chance that you won't find anything in this post humorous, because the whole point of it is that there is no actual context for any of these lines. I just found them funny and decided to make something out of them.

These are all real lines that were said by real people, sometime in my real life, pertaining to real things, that in the moment that they were used, were relevant and understandable. And I stripped them of any of that context, and have saved them for this post, because I think they're even funnier when presented without context.

I have not written any of these lines for this post myself, I just heard them, and collected them, either from friends, family members, people at school, or work, or just overheard randomly out in the world. One of them may have been something I said myself, and afterward I realized how weird it sounded, but other than that, these are all strictly overheard statements.

I hope you find them as funny as I do, but I kind of doubt it. I'm strange. :p

"Your lace is getting dangerously near the curds."
"Are you playing with my clots?" 
"Do you want to sniff the sparkle ducky?" 
"It's a sparkle encrusted mound of delicious." 
"That would be like getting run over by a very blubbery car." 
"I was thinking how fun it would be to watch the plush Teletubbies plunging to their doom." 
"The key is probably on a marmot, down in the basement with the other stuffed animals." 
"We needed snake adhesive." 
"I don't tend to make many noises in the bathroom, this could be a novelty!" 
"I can't believe I just spent like three minutes putting a hat on this goat." 
"I swallowed a dragonfly once. It was a really weird experience." 
"It's a teddy bear intestine." 
"It's literally a duck race." 
"Is there a word for like, a moist squeak?" 
"We accidentally won a Christmas tree." 
"The only man's deodorant I ever wore gave me a rash." 
"I need to do a body count. I don’t know how many boys I have now."
"Mmmmm... Ibuprofen and banana pizza!" 
"I think I could get a little DNA if I really practiced." 
"The squirrels that work in the internet will take that package where it needs to go."
If you liked this post, I may just do another one, because there are plenty more where this came from. And if you didn't like this post... Well, I guess that's too bad, because there are plenty more where this came from. :p

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Last Month Online (December 2017)


I already used a lot of December's videos in a Christmas post, but there were quite a few more videos this month than JUST the holiday ones, so they will get their own post. Some may be tangentially related to Christmas, but unless they were directly about, or related to the holiday season, they got saved for this post.

We'll start this off with a Studio C video, because I actually have two to share, and I'll save the other one for later. If you've watched a lot of Studio C, then you probably know who "Aww Yeah!" is. If not, click HERE. Anyway, this weirdo is one of my favorite Studio C characters, and I was so glad that they brought her back.



Next up we have a video from Nick Pitera, in which he recreates his very first YouTube video, which I actually remember watching! I doubt it was right after he uploaded it, but I'm pretty sure it was still the first video of his that I ever watched. His voice is still just as impressive today.



Then we have an amazing video from Peter Hollens, where he does a medley of songs from one of my favorite groups, ABBA! I can't believe it took him this long to cover them, but it was worth the wait!



I wanted to hate this next video, I really did. Some memes can be funny or entertaining, but I get annoyed by a most of them. They always seem like a creative way to be as un-creative as possible. But I could just be an old man yelling at kids to get off my lawn. Either way, it's a testament to Joe Jeremiah that he could take so many memes and make them fresh and fun again, enough so that I actually really liked a 7+ minute video of them, and that I actually watched it multiple times, and am now sharing it on my blog.



Lindsey Stirling released a lot of videos in the last couple of months, but most of them were Christmas songs, so they ended up in my Christmas post. This one however, while it was a Christmas song, was not specifically a Christmas video, so I saved it for this post.



Likewise, this Studio C sketch, while based around 'The Holiday Season,' was not an outright 'Christmas video' so I saved it for this post too. And like the previous sketch in this post, the starring character was also from a previous sketch, which you can find HERE.



Poppy is back with another insane music video and I loved it! The weirder the better! Also it is now one of my life goals to be an elderly backup dancer in a Poppy video. I mean, she's basically an ageless robot, right? I'm sure that by the time I'm 87 she'll still look right around twenty... three?



Every year Kurt Hugo Schneider and Sam Tsui do a musical mashup of all the biggest musical hits of the year, and put them together it the most epic way possible. This year they did the whole thing backwards!



We'll end this with another amazing Melodysheep video. December was the one year anniversary of Carrie Fisher's death, as well as the premiere of her final film, Star Wars: The Last Jedi. This video was the perfect tribute.