True Facts! 7!

Did you know that the flakes fed to pet fish are actually corn flake seeds? True fact!

Did you know that the McDonald's Hamburgler doesn't eat any of the hamburgers he steals? He actually brings them back home to "The Hood" to use in a game called burger ball. It's almost like baseball except the pitcher throws burgers instead of baseballs. The object of the game is to hit the burgers so that they explode, and then run around the bases before the other team can catch you and hit you over the head with another baseball bat. True fact!

Did you know that Albert Einstein kept a small nest of burrowing owls in his hair? True fact!

Did you know Nostradamus made his first prediction when he was just 8 years old? A bully named Kevin kept calling him Nostril-Damus, so he predicted that Kevin would be eaten by a woodpecker. And he was right! True fact!

Did you know that a peacock is just a fabulous pheasant? True fact!

Did you know that Cool Whip is made of clouds? But only organic, free-range, grass-fed clouds. Kraft Foods would never use inhumanely treated, factory farmed clouds in any of their products! True fact!

Did you know that your left foot is smarter than your right foot? True fact!

Did you know that the only reason that giraffes ever eat out is to order onion rings? They'd make them at home, but their hooves are too unwieldy to work the deep fat fryer properly. True fact!

Did you know that toads are actually frog trolls? True fact!

Did you know that Yetis are actually giant albino chimpanzees? The sightings began about two hundred and seven years ago when a family of rare albino chimpanzees were moving to China from Africa and got lost, so they decided to become hermits and scare innocent mountain climbers instead. The tradition has been passed down through the chimp family generations to this day. True fact!

Did you know that creeks are just rivers on a diet? True fact!

Did you know that rivers are just stretched out lakes? True fact!

Did you know that lakes are just fat ponds? True fact!

Did you know that puddles are just dwarf ponds? True fact!

Did you know that ponds are just baby oceans? True fact!

Did you know that oceans are just giant bowls of over-salted, fish soup? True fact!

Did you know that the The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Little People filed a lawsuit against me, three true facts ago? True fact!

Did you know that a camel's favorite food is Skittles Ice Cream? True fact!

Did you know that, in the wild, clowns and mimes are natural enemies? True fact!

Did you know that, contrary to popular belief, elephants can not fly by flapping their ears? They can only fly by spinning their tail like a helicopter blade and jumping off a cliff. True fact!