Out of Context! (September 2019)

Obligatory disclaimer, none of this is supposed to make sense. These are all real quotes, from real conversations I had, heard, or overheard in public. They all made sense in context, but I thought they were funnier without.

“What do I look like? I need to check!“

“It looks kind of like a sentient gumdrop.”

“The ghost has OCD.”

“He was trying to eat pellets.”

“Today we’re going to be eating roof thatch! Just like they did in the old country!”

“It’s a drink with lots of chunks in it.”

"I don't know how frogs work."

“Yeah, I just walk around with cheese in my pocket.”

“He’s just gonna nibble on my coat.”

“Does it have Asian juice?”

“You can trade that for Skittles!”

“No, the real thing! Not that drippy brown imposter!”

“I like the idea of having an armoire with a lot of glop in it.”

“I need to ask my dad about some empty paint cans.”

“It’s like a seagull eatin’ a hotdog.”

“This is my chicken pile here!”

“Decaf Chai, Whales, Oviraptors; basically the same thing.”

“WHAT IS THIS?!?!!! WHY IS THERE MILK IN THIS?!?!!!”

“It needs to be warm, with lumps and a skin.”

“Oh no. They stole a dirt baby.”

Nebraska Wildlife Safari Park - 2017

So, like I said... months ago... I am way behind on my photography. Like, WAY behind. In 2017, the summer after I "Graduated" (I'm still working toward the degree, I just need to finish my internship and then I'm totally done) my cousin Sarah and I went on a series of excursions, all around Iowa, and a bit of Nebraska. I took tons of pictures, and then never did anything with them. I started editing some of them, for use in my portfolio, and the rest ended up just kind of languishing in folders.

But I'm trying to change that! I have sorted through all my pictures, put them all on a thumb drive, and I am slowly but surely editing them while I work my overnight shifts. Sometimes. Occasionally. Okay, the pictures in this post were sitting on my work computer for like 2 months before I decided to actually get to work on them.

Anyway, let's not dwell on my failures, let's just keep moving forward, and celebrate the fact that I actually accomplished something with these pictures! And not just these, I actually made a whole other post on my photography blog! I edited those pictures for use in my portfolio and my photography blog, but they only made it into the portfolio at the time. I have finally got them up on my photography blog, so make sure you check that out when you're done here.

So to begin with, for those of you who don't know, Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo owns a wildlife safari park in Ashland, Nebraska. This is a wildlife sanctuary that you can drive through and get up close and personal with all kinds of native, American wildlife. Bison, Eagles, Elk, and more! It really is a cool experience, and I highly recommend it.

Back in 2017, Sarah and I wanted to do something that summer, and since we didn't have money for an actual, proper vacation, we decided to get out and do as many free and inexpensive things close to home as possible. The first place we went was the Wildlife Safari Park. We've always loved the zoo, and we knew that they had this park, but we'd never been there before. We didn't really know what to expect, but we wanted an adventure, so we went anyway.

The first thing we discovered was that you actually drive through this place. There are places you can get out, but for a lot of it, you need to stay in your car. Exhibit A.

These things are right off he road as you're driving. They're fine with the cars on the road, but I would not get out of your car.

I have a long lens for my camera, so I was able to get some great shots that would otherwise not be possible.

After the Elk, there is a place you can park, which leads off to a variety of trails you can walk.

The birds weren't part of the official display, but I love getting good bird pictures when I can.

There were several flocks of pelicans around the park. It seemed weird to see them in the middle of Nebraska, but many of the animals at the park are being rehabilitated, so maybe that had something to do with it.

It's always cool to get to see an eagle "Up close."

These weren't quite as close as they seem, my lens helped a lot here.

There was also a hill you could climb to see a couple of bears.

Obviously these were secured a bit more than the Elk, and other herbivores.

One of the coolest exhibits was a valley of wolves. There was a high walkway that went up and over them, so you could watch them down below.

They could also watch you.

It was really cool to see them running around.

I got a lot of great pictures here.

The wolves would also howl. And they were LOUD. I wish I would have thought to take a video of them. Oh well. Maybe next time.

In another part of the park there was a huge tower you could go up and look down to see a ton of different waterfowl.

Cranes.

More pelicans.

After the parts you could walk around in, you get back into your cars, and then drive some more.

There is another herd of Elk. Unless the first one moved, which I suppose is a possibility, we were there long enough.

And then you get to the main attraction. The bison.

There is even a white one!

After that we saw a whole bunch of wild turkeys.

And that was all for the main park itself. After that you get to another parking lot where you can find their main buildings, including the gift shop. We were in the park long enough that all the main buildings had closed, but we did find one more attraction.

Prairie Dogs.

They were really cute and fun to watch. 

I think this was my favorite picture of them. :)

And that was it! This park is really fun, and if you're an animal lover like we are, you definitely need to check it out one day. If you'd like some more pictures from that trip, I saved some of my best ones for a separate post on my photography blog. You can find that post HERE.

And as much as it feels like I've neglected this blog, only posting once or twice a month, that one hadn't been updated since 2016! And the pictures I'd posted were from 2014! I really hope I don't let it languish like that again, I'd really love to get back into photography, plus I have plenty more from 2017 I can work on, I just need to actually do it.

Anyway, there are more pictures coming, I won't make any promises as to when, but there are more coming, so stay tuned! :)

Out of Context! (August 2019)

Obligatory disclaimer, none of this is supposed to make sense. These are all real quotes, from real conversations, or overheard in public, that just struck me as funny. They all made sense in context, but I thought they were funnier without.

“I hear a British person. And rustling." 

“They love the balls of filth.” 

“Mmmmmm.... Milk solids.....”

“Is your armpit hair tasty? Is it like marshmallows? 

“Your nose has changed.” 

“Things are pretty naturey out here.” 

“I’m just gonna stand here and eat raw tortillas.” 

“My innards feel fine.” 

“I forgot that the Dino had sweet moves.” 

“It will be a very quiet death match.” 

“You could have written ‘Toad Tinkle’.” 

“He’s got a fistful of pudding!” 

“So you would eat the angry alpaca?” 

“It’s okay if you commandeer a random napkin, it happens.” 

“I’m scarred from a very unfortunate fiber supplement.” 

“Beautifully coiffed in tights? I’d take it. Let’s dance, Baby.” 

“A little life advice: Never eat an old nitroglycerin pill because it’s really bad for your teeth.” 

“I’m always up for a new mozzarella adventure.” 

“He’s touching your beans again." 

“I’m just gonna squeeze this stripey thing one last time.”

#TrueFacts (July 2019)

Did you know that the American folk song, "Skip to my Lou" has its origins in Great Britain? The original song was a nursery rhyme about a bathroom emergency. #TrueFact

Did you know that there is a tiny island kingdom in the South Pacific that the locals refer to as the Helium Empire? Due to the underground helium vents that cover the island, everyone there has permanent chipmunk voice. Visitors are cautioned to speak sparingly because literally everything you say is hilarious, and several people have accidentally laughed themselves to death. #TrueFact

Did you know that a double bass is just a big ol' cello daddy? #TrueFact

Did you know that a guitar is just a cello that got shrunk in the wash? #TrueFact

Did you know that an electric guitar is just a moody teenage guitar going through a "phase?" #TrueFact

Did you know that a ukulele is just a newborn baby cello? #TrueFact

Did you know that a violin is just a cello that hasn't hit puberty yet? #TrueFact

Did you know that a viola is just a violin’s weird European cousin that no one really believes exists? #TrueFact

Did you know that the number 8 is like pretty much the same as infinity? So like, if you have eight dollars, all you have to do is turn it on its side, and then, like, you'll have infinite dollars! Isn't that cool? That's how it works, right? I'm pretty sure that's how it works. #TrueFact

Did you know that that thing, you know, that one thing that happened in that one place that one time? That thing that happened almost ten years ago! That thing is almost a decade old! I can't believe it! That thing makes me feel so old when I think about it. #TrueFact

10 Years Ago

Like I've said in a couple previous posts, I'm way behind in posting photos. Not 10 years behind, but in collecting all the pictures I still want to post from the last couple of years, I found a folder full of pictures from my old flip phone from 10 years ago! So, in the interest of archiving them for myself, and sharing them with whoever might be interested, I decided to make a blog post with them.

First up, apparently a rare selfie from me. Not sure why I took this, but here's a picture of 22-year-old me, from February 2009.

*Content warning* I am in a bathrobe doing a bathroom mirror selfie. Why? I literally have no idea. Just thought you should be warned, this is a shocking image.

I miss that phone. I mean, I wouldn't get rid of my smart phone for a flip phone again for anything, but I did love that phone. I loved the color, the snap of it closing was so satisfying... I wish there were a way to get the best of both worlds from today's smartphones. Is it too much to ask for a dark purple smartphone that can snap closed in a satisfying manner?

A bunch of these pictures were ones I had taken at my job. From early 2009 to mid 2010, I worked in the kitchen of Elm Crest Retirement Community. It wasn't the greatest job, (some days it was downright awful) but there aren't many options in Harlan. The worst part of the job was usually the dishes. Specifically the dishes used to cook and store the food. We could use a dishwasher for all the plates, cups, silverware, etc. (Thankfully) But everything else had to be done by hand. By me. And for some reason I decided to document that one night.

To this day I still hate doing dishes. ESPECIALLY in a commercial kitchen.

Another thing I took some pictures of at Elm Crest was a vault I found in the basement. I mean, it's not like they were hiding it and I discovered something they'd been keeping classified, but no one ever told me about it, so when I walked down this particular hallway, it felt like I had discovered a secret mausoleum, hidden away from the public's eyes.

When I was a little kid, my family was part of a homeschool choir, and one thing we would do was go to sing for the seniors at local nursing homes, usually at least twice a year. The choir disbanded years before I started working, but some of us, and even some who hadn't been part of the original group, would still try to at least get together around Christmas and go caroling. We did that in 2009, and we included Elm Crest as a stop, and I took a picture of the event schedule they had hanging in the assisted living wing where I usually served dinner.

The last picture on the phone was taken in January 2010, after a big snowstorm. There was a tree outside the Alzheimer's unit that had lost a huge limb in the night.

Through all of my teenage years and into my early 20's, my family had a lot of cats. They were frequently the targets of my camera, as they were pretty much the only animals we had around that I could photograph. I have lots of pictures from old cameras, but apparently I took a bunch on this phone too.

It's been so long, and we had so many cats, that I can't remember their names.

I think these were taken through a basement window.

We had one named Polar Bear. I think this was him.

Po for short.

Mom always acted like she didn't want any cats in the house.

**ACTED** like she didn't want them in the house.

Incidentally, there is currently, as of June 2019, a stray cat that my parents have named Mr. Friendly, who they now let into the house on a semi-regular basis. So...

One of these days I should get a picture of him up on this blog. Next time I go home I'll try to make it a point to get some pictures.

Anyway, these were all the pictures I had on my phone. Plus a bunch of blurry things, and pictures I couldn't figure out what they were supposed to be or where they were taken, but I decided against sharing those. So this was an interesting look back at a year in my life, through a cell phone camera that I barely used. Will this be interesting to anyone but me? If you're reading this, I guess it must have been. :p