Facebook Friends #8

Mitch Morebuff
Hello Facebook! I am ROCKIN' the no-shirt look!!!
Bertha Buff'nstuff Likes This


BB Tween
I totes got a babysitting gig! Falcon City concert here I come!

Rainbow Sunshine Who for?

BB Tween The Frazzled Boys

Lorenzo Literate I'll start a memorial fund for you. Tombstones aren't cheap, you know.

BB Tween It's only the oldest boy and the triplets. The twins are going to be at a slumber party, and the youngest girl is going to be with their grandma. It'll be much easier than last time, and with the price they pay for sitters, I'll be rich by the end of the night!

Lorenzo Literate You'll be dead by the end of the night. You know Alex Grey, their last baby sitter?

BB Tween No.

Lorenzo Literate Exactly.

BB Tween Oh Please.

T.M. Info
Is it bad if your snot is sometimes yellow, sometimes green, and sometimes orange?

Mrs. Info If you have a medical question, why don't you just come ask me, instead of plastering this information all over Facebook for the world to see?

T.M. Info So, apparently you don't know me very well, mom. :p
Lurking Liker Likes This

Ima Bean
Have a birthday.

Lorenzo Literate Um, I know that you are a very disturbed young... woman(?) but why are you posting this? It's not anyone's birthday today.

Ima Bean Glozz. Chewvanka, en Glozzio.

Lorenzo Literate Yeah, I thought as much. I wish you would find yourself a good therapist.

Ima Bean Actually, this is my therapy. I'd go insane in real life if I didn't have the internet to be insane on.

Lorenzo Literate Wow. For once, you make perfect sense.

Ima Bean And thanks be to thou, oh mighty Man of Mystery. Fleetgrass to your dozens of Grandkittens.

Lorenzo Literate And we're back to bizzaro-ness.

Mamma Frazzled
Did you know that it is entirely possible to burn down a swimming pool? WITH water in it?

Grammy Happy Oh my! Those little scamps!

Mamma Frazzled Well, it's out now. Even the fire department couldn't figure out how they managed to do it.

Aunty Uncle Why was there water in it? It's the middle of December!

Mamma Frazzled Well, that's something you'll have to ask the children who were supposed to be building a snowman. I was busy cleaning up four boxes of cereal and a gallon of milk that the triplets had dumped down the stairs when all this happened. If I didn't have my night out to look forward to tonight, I think I'd go insane.

Lorenzo Literate And this is what you have to look forward to, BB Tween!

BB Tween Stop trying to scare me. I'm bringing a bunch of DVDs and candy. They'll behave. I hope...

Sally Sharitall

Lurking Liker Likes This

Joyful Exclamations EEEEEEEP!!!! SO CUTE!!!!

Izzy Illiterate SOOOOOO CUTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!1

Rainbow Sunshine This is the most adorable thing I've seen all day, Sally! :D

Joy Lyrical My Heart! It's melting!

BB Tween SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Katie Catlover Heaven! I've died and gone to it! This is the most adorable thing in the universe!

Lorenzo Literate Good Grief. Nothing like a kitten to make the internet melt into a goopy puddle.

Winston Q. Eyeglasses HobbitQuest: The Movie opens this weekend! I'm leaving now to camp outside the theater! :D

Lorenzo Literate I'm torn. On one hand I wish to avoid this movie like the plague, as it is sure to be one of the most popular films of the year. On the other hand, it has its roots in a classic 20th century novel. I can't decide whether I should shun and ridicule it for how "Mainstream" it is, or praise it for how culturally significant it is. One thing's for sure, the book will be better.

Marty McMacho I was going to make fun of lil' Winston, but it looks like you're a bigger target than he is! What a geek! BA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

 
Amy Aminal
During this sad holiday season let us remember the millions of turkeys needlessly slaughtered every year. We need to do something people! This madness must end!

R.W. Republicrazy I'll help! All those dead turkeys will need someone to dispose of their bodies! I'll eat them!

Ferdie Foodie I'll help! Dead turkeys are my favorite kind of dead bird to eat!

Amy Aminal You are sick individuals you know that?

R.W. Republicrazy MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

BB Tween
Getting ready to go babysit! Anyone got a bulletproof vest and a hazmat suit I can borrow?

Lorenzo Literate We are gathered here to mourn the loss of a life cut tragically short, by the cruel hands of crazy, maniacal, and possibly rabid children.

BB Tween Oh, stuff it, Lorenzo.

Gloom Lyrical
Caught in a downpour, beset by ravens, and stalked by evil clowns. Misery follows the forlorn and forgotten. - FamousDepressedWriter

Joy Lyrical Wow. Aren't you a little Debbie Downer.

Ferdie Foodie Mmmmmmmm.... Little Debbies.... :P

David Duvvie
Miss my Luvsie-Pie!!!!

Lori Luvvie Miss my Duvsie-Pie!!!! How's your new job going?

David Duvvie Terrible. I hate it, but being a Quality Control Specialist at the castor oil factory was the only job I could find after the deodorant factory fired me.

Nosey Nellie Why'd they fire you?

David Duvvie Apparently I wasn't sniffing "Deep Enough" to tell whether or not the deodorants were working.

Lorenzo Literate Dude, I never thought I'd say this, but compared to what you've got now, that armpit-sniffing job sounds amazing!

Izzy Illiterate
My cuzin jut had a babby!!! It so cute!!! it a gril!!!1

Lorenzo Literate Jennie had a gril?

Izzy Illiterate YeS!!!!

Lorenzo Literate Wow! That must have hurt! How big is it? How many steaks can it hold?

Izzy Illiterate wut?

Lorenzo Literate It it propane or charcoal?

Izzy Illiterate hu??/

Izzy Illiterate y r u askin such werd questins?

Izzy Illiterate r u makin fun uf me agin?

Izzy Illiterate I MENT GIRL!!! YOUR SO MEEN!!!!

Lorenzo Literate That was too easy. :D

BB Tween
Anyone want to come over and help me find the kids? We're playing hide and seek and I can't find them...

Lorenzo Literate I knew you were in trouble when you accepted the job.

BB Tween I'm not in trouble. We're playing a game. Apparently they're really good at it.

Lorenzo Literate Ok. Just keep telling yourself that as you play on Facebook while the kids are missing.

BB Tween I'm on my ePhone while I look. I'm not irresponsible!

Lorenzo Literate Sure...

BB Tween GTG. I just heard them in the living room.

Lill Sloshy
WHO WNATS TO HAV A PRATY FOR THIS NEW YEARS!!?? ILL BING DRINKS!!!

Lill Sloshy ANONE?

Lill Sloshy SOMEONE?

Lill Sloshy WHY WONT NYONE AXEPT MY INVINTASHION!?

Lorenzo Literate Sorry, I have a high class gathering to attend. And please turn off your caps lock.

Izzy Illiterate wow. rood much loezno? Sorry Lill, I'll be at Roxy's that night. You're welcome to join us, we won't be drinking much more than sparkling grape juice though.

Lill Sloshy SNODS BORING ILL HAV MY OWN PARTY DRINKS FOR NYONE WHO COMS!!!

BB Tween
I'm pretty sure I never imagined that I would ever know firsthand what the sound of a grandfather clock falling onto a glass coffee table was...
Lurking Liker Likes This


Betsy Etsy
Just finished making a brand new quilt! It's made of upcycled cloth diapers and washcloths! It's so cute and environmentally friendly! If anyone wants to buy it I'll let it go for 50% off!

Lorenzo Literate *Runs in terror*
Lurking Liker Likes This

Izzy Illiterate o go away lernezo i cant by it, but i hope you sell it!

Vaguely McDramaPants
If you can't say anything nice then you have serious problems!!!

Izzy Illiterate AMEN SISER!!!!

Nosey Nellie What's going on Gurl? Text me!

BB Tween
The kids were so well behaved tonight! AFTER they broke the entire living room...
Lurking Liker Likes This


Indie Pendant
Happy Holidays Everyone!

Rainbow Sunshine You too Indie! :)

R.W. Republicrazy How dare you use such an offensive Term! It's CHRISTmas!!!!

Rabid Liberal For once I agree with Indie! No one should ever wish anyone a Merry Christmas! Not evryone is Christian!

Indie Pendant Oh for pete's sake! Well, I DON'T agree with you! I only wrote that because there's a whole bunch of holidays going on this time of year, and none of them are happening today! I went with a generic friendly greeting! You two should stop making something out of nothing! Good Grief!

Rainbow Sunshine
If everyone in the world would stop looking for things to be mad about, the world would be an even more beautiful place to live.
Lurking Liker Likes This

Facebook Friends #7

Finally finished this one. I've actually been working on this post off and on for months, even from before the Olympic one. The Katie Catlover post I had pretty much done back when I posted #5, so you know how long that's been. :) My real life Facebook friends might remember that I shared that book on Facebook when I first found it, yes, that is a real book, weird as it might seem, you can find it on Amazon.com if you look.

Anyway, here's the latest, hope you enjoy them. :)

Joyful Exclamations

Hello world! Today is the most awesome day you've ever had! Do something amazing!

Lurking Liker Likes This

Vaguely McDramaPants

I'm interested to see who reads my posts. I realize there's only two of you :-) So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about me (or two, or three, the more words the better :). Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you.

Izzy Illiterate Gratnesss!Assumness!!!1

Lorenzo Literate Desperate for attention.

Lorenzo Literate Izzy, what on earth is that mess? I swear, you should have flunked pre-school.

Izzy Illiterate shutup yourso meen1!!

Whiney McDramaPants You're so nice, V!

Whiney McDramaPants And you're not, Lorenzo!

Roxy Repost Very Thoughtful.

Vaguely McDramaPants ima doodoo!!!!! ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Whiney McDramaPants

I'm interested to see who reads my posts. I realize there's only two of you :-) So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about me (or two, or three, the more words the better :). Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you.

Lorenzo Literate Insecure.

Izzy Illiterate stuf it lorezno. your fun winey!!

Roxy Repost Dramatic! :D

Vaguely McDramaPants doodoo

Vaguely McDramaPants fart

Vaguely McDramaPants fartfartfartfartfart

Vaguely McDramaPants GAVIN!!! STAY OFF MY FACEBOOK!!!!

Vauguely McDramaPants When I find that little status destroyer, I will pulverize him. 

Vauguely McDramaPants And if you were still in school, Lorenzo, I'd hire a football player to stuff you into a hamper full of dirty jockstraps in the boy's locker room.

Ferdie Foodie
Bacon Popsicles. I am a genius. That is all.

Lorenzo Literate You hear that? That was the sound of Facebook, throwing up.

Ferdie Foodie Why? That sounds awesome! It wouldn't be like, frozen raw meat, it would be like, gravy, with tons of bacon bits!!!! :D

Lorenzo Literate Worst idea since chocolate coated crickets.

Ferdie Foodie Making them now. Prepare to be shamed when they turn out to be epic deliciousness.

T.M. Info
AH! The beautiful sounds of relief! Thanks, Mr. Burrito!

Mrs. Info I should just abandon Facebook altogether. Then I would no longer have to read the horrific status updates from my son. I think I’ll go read some poetry and look at some Thomas Kinkaid paintings before I say something I‘ll regret.

Lurking Liker Likes This

Crazy Uncle
I saw the cutest baby raccoon by the side of the road today! I named him Scraps! :D

BB Tween That sounds Totes adorbes! I love baby raccoons!

Izzy Illiterate i luv rackoonns to!!!!11

Aunty Uncle Knowing my husband, I get the feeling there's more to this story.

Crazy Uncle I named him Scraps because that's all that was left of him! :D MWA HA HA HA!!!!! :D

BB Tween That's the worst thing I've ever heard. Poor thing. :'(

Marty McMacho That was awesome! HA HA HA!!!!!

BB Tween Stuff it, Marty. >:( 

Amy Aminal This is the single cruelest joke I have ever heard in my entire life.

Aunty Uncle You're never going to grow up are you, Craig?

Crazy Uncle Not planning on it! :D

Ima Bean
Do This.

Lurking Liker Likes This

Lorenzo Literate No.

Izzy Illiterate I DID!! YAY pretsals!!!

Mitch Morebuff
Pumpin' Iron!!!! YEAH!!!! I'm so much awesomer than everyone reading this!
Gareth GreatGlutes Likes This


Lorie Luvvie
My Schmoopie-Pie Lovin’ Lump Never called this week! I am so distressed! Long distance relationships are the worst!!!

David Duvvie Wooglie Woogums! I told you my cell phone died! And it’s not like I’m away at sea, I just work at the deodorant factory in the next state! I’ll see you next weekend!

Lorie Luvvie But Snugglie-Hugglie! That is SOOOOO FAR AWAY! What if you get killed in an on-the job accident and I never saw you again?! I’d just die!

David Duvvie That is highly unlikely, Sugar-Dumplie! There’s only ever been one fatality, and they had no business hiring Nauseous Norm in the first place! Some people just don’t have what it takes to be a professional armpit sniffer.

Lorenzo Literate Your nicknames, or your job description. Hmmmm… I really can’t decide which one makes me feel more like losing my lunch.

Lurking Liker Likes This

Ima Bean
Gunk Biscuits!
Lurking Liker Likes This 

Lorenzo Literate You are a sad, strange little woman, and you have my pity. 

Ima Bean Ominous eyeballs… m >_> m

Roxy Repost
I'm interested to see who reads my posts. I realize there's only two of you :-) So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about me (or two, or three, the more words the better :). Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you.

Izzy Illiterate cooil aussum, fuyn!!!

Ima Bean Glink.

Joyful Exclamations DUDE! :D

Rainbow Sunshine Sweet. :)

Lorenzo Literate Copycat, Can't write her own status, Reposts nonsense.

Izzy Illiterate stop beeng meean lerenzo ill repost roxxy. ;)

Izzy Illiterate
I'm interested to see who reads my posts. I realize there's only two of you :-) So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about me (or two, or three, the more words the better :). Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you.

Roxy Repost Super nice and supportive. Don't let the H8ers get you down! :)

Lorenzo Literate Wow! Roxy actually made a post that wasn't a copy-cat post from someone else? This has to be the single most shocking thing I've ever seen in my entire life!

Roxy Repost Wow. Someone overdid it on the sarcasm flakes this morning. Why don't you eat a couple dozen bran muffins. It'll flush that attitude right outa ya.

Lorenzo Literate Ooooh! All of a sudden she's a big talker! Why don't you post you're own stuff if you think you can match wits with me?

Roxy Repost You're not worth it. And you spelled your wrong. Bye!

Izzy Illiterate baahahhahaha buurrnnnnnnnnnn!!!!111

Lorenzo Literate Shut up.

Katie Catlover
EEEP! I MUST HAVE THIS BOOK!!!

Lorenzo Literate Words fail me.

Ima Bean Sweaters...

Joyful Exclamations Sorry, Katie. Even I can’t get excited over that book…

BB Tween EEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!! Please tell me you’re joking!

Betsy Etsy You people should keep a more open mind! I love the idea of using upcycled cat hair! You could make a fortune with that book if you tried selling your creations!

Gloom Lyrical And people say I’M weird…

Ima Bean SWEATERS.......

Izzy Illiterate well,, at lest it’s a craetiv book…….

T.M. Info BAHAHA!!! Nasty! What’s next? Litter-time sculpture class with Professor Fluffykins?

Amy Aminal How dare the authors of this book exploit the poor cats for their fur. Animals have rights too you know! I only use organically grown hemp in all of my crafting endeavors.

Lorenzo Literate “Translated from the Japanese.” This explains everything.

Ima Bean WANT SWEATERS!!!!!

Ferdie Foodie 
Lorenzo Literate, I'm sorry I doubted you. >Gag<

Lurking Liker Likes This

Lorenzo Literate I hate to say I told you so, but... Wait... No I don't. I told you so!

Lorenzo Literate
I'm very insecure and have an unnatural desire to see who reads my posts. I know everyone reads them, but I really want people to reply to something I write and validate my existence. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about me. (It doesn't really have to be one word, you could write a whole blog post about me if you want, just make sure to link it here so all my friends can see it. If I have to link it myself, it might make me look shallow.) You don't have to copy this to your own wall, All I want is some attention, I don't really want to have to leave you a message too.

Izzy Illiterate meean

Vaguely McDramaPants Sarcastic

Roxy Repost Sad. In the pathetic sense of the word.

Lorenzo Literate I didn't mean to actually do it! This is supposed to be ironic!

Whiney McDramaPants Clueless.

Lorenzo Literate I said stop it!

Roxy Repost Completely full of himself.

Izzy Illiterate ariggent

Lorenzo Literate That means the same thing! And that's arrogant! Learn to spell!

Roxy Repost And thus their point was proven.

Lorenzo Literate That proves nothing! Stop posting stuff!!!

Roxy Repost And here we have a classic example of one who can dish it out, but can't take it.

Izzy Illiterate hes probaly cryig under hi sbed now. he dos that wen he cant winn a argumnt.

Lorenzo Literate SHUT UP! I AM NOT!!!

Lurking Liker I wish I could like this entire conversation.

Lurking Liker Yeah, you saw right. Roxy's not the only one who can post her own stuff.

Izzy Illiterate mind blownn.....

Joy Lyrical
Cheerfulness will destroy the frownies - MissCutsiePieSinger

Rainbow Sunshine That's so sweet, Joy. :)

Mamma Frazzled
Well, that's the end of that couch. 

Grammie Happy Oh dear! What happened this time? 

Mamma Frazzled I didn't lock all of my children in their bedrooms during my two minute bathroom break, that's what happened. 

Grammie Happy I'm sure the little darlings couldn't have done too much damage in just two minutes. 

Mamma Frazzled I think they'd been planning this one. There's no other explanation for how fast the destruction was executed! I completely forgot that my husband left a screwdriver on our dresser, and a gallon of house paint in the garage. You do the math. 

Mamma Frazzled And people wonder why we only buy second hand furniture. 

Gladys Grizzle The hickory switch is nature's gift to mothers. Just sayin'. 

Rabid Liberal I'd have sicced the CPS on you if it were around back in dinosaur times. 

Gladys Grizzle Don't make me hunt you down and flip you over my knee, little boy. I work out, and I ain't afeared to prove it to your backside!

BB Tween 

I just got my Deathmatch Games DVD! Gabe is so dreamy!!!! 

Joy Lyrical You like Gabe?!? I'm Team Wheeta all the way! No one could ever love Catness more!!!! 

BB Tween No way! And shut up! Catness would never choose him over Gabe! He's such a dream-hottie! :D 

Marty McMacho Leave it to a couple of girls to turn a movie about teens fighting to the death into a chick flick! This conversation is making me sick! Must. Go. Punch. Stuff!!! 

Winston Q. Eyeglasses Apparently none of you read the books, or this conversation wouldn't even be taking place. 

BB Tween Mind your own bwees-nass Winston. Don't go bringing READING into my dream-girl fantasies. I'll pretend she ends up with Gabe if I want to! 

Lefty T. Parrot 

I just watched the new Matt Bromney 2016 movie! It was so factual! This country will go down in flames if he get's elected! 

R.W. Republicrazy No it wasn't you loon! The only TRUTHFUL movie is the new Brock O'Malley's America! THAT is 100% FACTUAL! If he's reelected we are all doomed!

Indie Pendant How can either of you claim that a speculative movie is "Factual?" Unless you are both psychic, no one knows what anything will be like in four years. The best either of you can do is guess.

Lefty T. Parrot Shut up, Indie. You're a mindless little sheep RW! You're just saying that because those idiots on FoxBlogTV told you so. 

G. O. Pachyderm I'm sorry, Lefty, but really, you mustn't be such a hypocrite. You only think that the Bromney movie is "Factual" because MSMTV told YOU that it was. 

R.W. Republicrazy YEAH! YOU TELL 'EM GRANDY! 

G. O. Pachyderm Please don't call me that. And as much as I hate to admit it, Indie does have a point. Though I tend to side with Matt Bromney, no one really can know what the future holds. 

Lefty T. Parrot You're all brainwashed. MSMTV is the only UNBIASED news source out there, so if they say something I can OBVIOUSLY accept it is truth! 

R.W. Republicrazy I thought you liberal types LOVED the phrase "Question Everything." Obviously you think it means "Question everything I don't agree with!" 

Lefty T. Parrot You retarded er!!!!!! 

R.W. Republicrazy Wow! You must not be a true liberal! Since when is "Retard" an acceptable word in your circles? Shouldn't you have called me a mentally handicapable er instead? Your party will be so ashamed of you. 

Lefty T. Parrot YOU!!!! 

Indie Pendant Once again, the voice of reason is squashed by the braying of a Jacka- Oh, excuse me. Please pardon my language, "Donkey." 

Lefty T. Parrot !!!!!!!!

Rainbow Sunshine
If everyone in the world would hug more, there would be peace.

Joyful Exclamations A lovely thought, Rainbow. :)

Facebook Friends #5

It has been so long since my last Facebook Friends post! Over a month now! School has been taking up so much of my time that I haven’t had time to just sit down and write anything for fun. I’ve actually been working on this post since before I wrote the holiday one, but with school taking up most of my “Free” time, I haven’t gotten around to finishing it. I try to get around 20 statuses per post, so it can take awhile. Last night I decided that I would finish this one off, so I sat down and came up with the last few statuses I needed, and in the process I came up with a couple new characters. Enjoy. :)



Joyful Exclamations How’s everyone’s day? Mine has been amazing!
Lurking Liker Likes This

Rainbow Sunshine Yes, it has been a good day so far. I think I’m going to make some coffee. :)
Joyful Exclamations COFFEE!!!! I’m comin’ over to your place!!!! :D

Nosey NellieDoes NE1 know who that guy was that Lindsey was with?! Sum1 txt me!!!

Vaguely McDramaPants That was her cousin.
Nosey Nellie Whaat?? That is so not juicy. :(
Nosey Nellie NE1 hav NE GOOD gossip?

Frankie Sportsfreak
I think I just had a deeply spiritual moment! This is just so beautiful!

Fanny LuvSports Likes This

Fanny LuvSports It’s just so inspiring! Tears! :’)

T. M. InfoWHHOOOOIEEEE!!! NObody go into the bathroom at McDonalds! I was just in there. You may not get out alive!

Mrs. Info OH MY HEAVENS! THOMAS MICHAEL! Please excuse my son! I tried and tried to teach him manners as a child. I bought multiple etiquette books, but he built a bike ramp out of them, flew 20 feet, and hit his head. After that it was useless.

Ima Bean
GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!


Ima Bean
GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWP!!!!!


Ima Bean
GRINGGRONG! GRINGGONG-GRINGONG!!!


Ima BeanGARGLING GORK JUICE!!!!

Angry McToiletMouth WILL YOU STOP POSTING THIS ALL OVER MY FACEBOOK WALL!?!?!?!?!??!?

Ima Bean Mwa ha ha!!! MWA HA HA!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*High-Pitched Screaming Cackle* MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:D

Lorie LuvvieI miss my Sweetie Muffie Wuffie Googly-Pie SO SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!

David Duvvie I miss my Puddin’ Patch Cookie Crumbsie Wumbsie more than a three legged puppy misses his tummy rubs when his owner leaves for a four week vacation which turns into three months because he loved it so much in the Bahamas that he just decided to stay there and forgot all about that poor puppy who is lying alone and friendless in his dog house, weeping softly to himself!

Lorenzo Literate Wow. This just reached a new level of creepy weird for all of us.

Ferdie Foodie
7 Quarter Pounders WITH fries in less than 5 minutes? I totally did! My life is complete!

Gloom Lyrical The voices of the innocent cattle cry out from beyond the grave, “Why? Why must we perish for the gluttony of one?”

Ferdie Foodie Cause they taste awesome! Lets eat more cows everyone!

Gloom Lyrical The vegan lifestyle is the only way one can ever achieve harmony with nature. My heart breaks for the needless slaughter of all the beautiful creatures on earth.

Ferdie Foodie. Well MY heart breaks for all the poor people like you who will never know the joy of a fresh, meaty, charcoal-grilled steak! Wait, no it doesn’t! MORE BEEF FOR ME! :D

Mitch Morebuff
Muscles rule! I love them! I feel so bad for whoever doesn’t have any! Like, Pretty much everyone else reading this!
Patrick PurePecs Likes This

Marty McMacho Dude! I SO know what you mean! If my muscles were girls, I would SO date them.

Lorenzo Literate Wow. Not even gonna touch that one.

Mamma Frazzled
Does anyone have any tips on removing tie-dye, ketchup, blue toilet bowl cleaner, oil paints, and something green and chunky from a 400 year old heirloom wedding dress?
Lurking Liker Likes This

Lorenzo Literate
A flame thrower.

Grammie Happy Oh No! Not my Great, Great, Great, Great Grandmother Beatrice the Second, High Queen of Grand Slovikistan’s custom designed royal wedding gown! Oh, well. Kids will be kids. I them SO much! :)

Katie Catlover Today I was petting one of my long-haired purr-babies for the longest time, and she was so well behaved! She just sat beside me and didn’t move at all! I decided to pick her up for a cuddle and I realized that all this time she was just an armrest on my couch! LOL! Time to get out the lint roller!

Lorenzo Literate I have only one word. Nay, one syllable. Ew.

Sally Sharitall Shared “I Totally Just made this random facebook page for no reason whatsoever’s photo.


Angry McToiletMouth Likes This

Izzy Illiterate BAHAHAHAHA!!! luv Ths!!!!

Whiney McDramaPantsI ate beans!!!!! it tha best! Chees is too!!!
Lurking Liker and Ima Bean Like This

Whiney McDramaPants GAVIN!!!! HAVE YOU BEEN MESSING ON MY COMPUTER AGAIN?!?!?

Roxy Repost
Dose anyone actually reads my posts? Let's see who reads this entirely...leave me a one-word comment describing me that starts with the third to last letter of your first name- it can only be one word. then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you and don't just post a word and not copy!!! Do it!!!! my incredibly fragile self esteem depends on this!!!!! if you don’t, I will spiral into a deep depression from which there is no hope of escape!!!

Lorenzo Literate Needy. And no, I will not be reposting.

Ima Bean Five Hundred Forty Seven!!! And a half!!!!!

Izzy Illiterate O wow! so hard because im a z!!! I don’t know what to do! I’ll just do my last name instead because then im a!!! and yor awsum!!!! And ill repost for U!!!

Izzy Illiterate
Dose anyone actually reads my posts? Let's see who reads this entirely...leave me a one-word comment describing me that starts with the third to last letter of your first name- it can only be one word. then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you and don't just post a word and not copy!!! Do it!!!! my incredibly fragile self esteem depends on this!!!!! if you don’t, I will spiral into a deep depression from which there is no hope of escape!!!

Roxy Repost Opulent! I don’t know what it meens, but it sounds so nice! And your so nice!

Ima Bean PORK RINDS!!!!!

Lorenzo Literate Nonplussed

Izzy Illiterate HA HA! Tht so TRU!!! I am so bad at math!

Lorenzo Literate Thank you for proving my point.

Izzy Illiterate Wut? U dont mak any cence sumtims.

G. O. Pachyderm
So few good candidates left. The left sure made short work of them. By November I’m sure we’ll be stuck voting for yet another RINO.
R. W. Republicrazy Likes this

R. W. Republicrazy So true! We need to make sure to spread the word that Amy Colton is the best and that our country is DOOMED if she doesn’t get in!!!!!

Lefty T. Parrot Amy Colton is the biggest idiot the world has ever seen! If she gets in, the entire country will die of stupid!!!!

Rabid Liberal It won’t die of stupid. We’ll just have four years of belly laughs at how stupid she is! She’s so dumb she’d make a head of cabbage look intelligent!

R. W. Republicrazy This proves how brainwashed you liberals are! She’s positively brilliant! She could eat old “Goat Beard” for breakfast in a debate!

Lefty T. Parrot GOAT BEARD?!?!? HOW DARE YOU CALL OUR BELOVED COMMANDER IN CHIEF GOAT BEARD!?!??!? YOU ARE SUCH A RACIST!!!!!

R. W. Republicrazy Wow! It took you two whole posts to play the race card!Bravo! Such constraint!

Lefty T. Parrot YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Angry McToiletMouth Likes This

Vaguely McDramaPants
TOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Lurking Liker and Ima Bean Like This

Vaguely McDramaPants This is a notice for Gavin McDramaPants. Prepare for certain death.

Whiney McDramaPants hehehe dont leev yor fasebok oppin!!!

Vaguely McDramaPants You should talk, he got you too.

Whiney McDramaPants WHAT!? NO! I didn’t rite that! I spel way better then that! GAVIN!!!!! STAY OFFF MY COMPUTER!!!!!

BB Tween
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! JASON BEAMER IS COMING HERE!!!! TO MY TOWN!!!!!! I HAVE TO GET TICKETS!!!!!!

Marty McMacho You LIKE Jason Weiner? He sounds like a toddler with laryngitis. He’s like the worst singer in the history of bad singers.

BB Tween Shut up, Marty. Go sniff a protein shake.

Gloom Lyrical If you want actual GOOD music, you should listen to the Morose Ravens. Their poetic lyrics just speak directly to my soul, and I just want to weep every time I hear them. So beautiful!

BB Tween They make me want to weep too! Weep from the pain they cause my ears!!! They’re only the most depressing band in history!!! EW!!!

Gloom Lyrical They’re just too deep for your kind.

BB Tween They’re not deep enough! Someone get a backhoe and bury them deeper!

Winston Q. Eyeglasses
How DARE Luke Georgia re-re-release The Chronicles of Space Wars in 3D!!!! The Original was the sacred holy grail of all space opera! This updated special effects version is a complete sellout and makes mockery of all that was awesome about the original!!! BOYCOTT ALL 3D MOVIES!!!!


Joy Lyrical
I can’t wait to be old! :D

Lurking Liker Likes This

Grammy Happy Hey! I resemble that remark! :)

Gladys Grizzle I’m not sure if I should be offended or not…

Joyful Exclamations Take it as a complement, Gladys! You’re awesome!

Gladys Grizzle Thanks, Dear. :)

I’m in a Music Video!

Well, maybe not me exactly, but I bet that got your attention. :p Allow me to explain. First watch this video. Or rather, listen to this song, as the video really isn’t anything more than lyrics running on the screen.

I love Parry Gripp’s songs. They always crack me up. :D “Baby Monkey (Going Backwards on a Pig)” is just one hilarious example. :p After he released this song he announced on Facebook that he was looking for drawings to use in his next music video for Slushy the Slushball. He’s done this before, you might recall my brief obsession with Space Unicorn. :p I didn’t make my Space Unicorn drawing until after he’d made that video, but this time I decided I’d submit a drawing. If you watched the Space Unicorn video you could tell he used everything he was sent, so I was pretty sure I could get a drawing in there. Here is what I drew. (As long as you listened to the song, the picture makes perfect sense.) :)

 

I know, super simple. But I did it that way on purpose. I wanted to test out my developing Photoshop skills. Here is the after.

I submitted it and today the video was released. Check out the third drawing! :D

This is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me! :D Well, probably not really. But I am excited to have one of my drawings in a Parry Gripp music video. :)

Now that I’ve gone back and reread my Space Unicorn post, I realized I still need to make a big piece of art. It never progressed beyond that drawing. My obsession died soon after I wrote that post. :p Maybe I will use Photoshop and see what I can make out of that drawing. I'm sure I still have the original file somewhere… Stay tuned, I may just do that. :p

Facebook Friends #3

Something that I should mention, unlike the real facebook, Which starts out with the most recent posts and works backwards in time, the post in my “Facebook Friends” series happen in chronological order. As in, the most recent posts are at the bottom, and the ones at the top happened at the beginning of the day. You’ll see why I felt the need to clarify that. :)




Mamma Frazzled
Oh my head! Where are my kids now?!?! I can only find the triplets and they are a mess! The rest of them got into the cupcakes! Now there is frosting all over the table and they’ve all disappeared! I can’t even check the mail without disaster befalling me! I was gone for less than two minutes! This has to be a record!!!

Grammie Happy I’m on my way over, Sweetie! I’ll help you look!

Rainbow Sunshine I’m sure you’ll find the rest of them, but I’ll be praying!

BB Tween "Crescent Moon” is the best Evening Falls book yet!
BB Tween Likes this

Gloom Lyrical Evening Falls makes a mockery of zombies everywhere. What self respecting zombie glitters?! These books are a giant FAIL!

Angry McToiletMouth I HATE EVENING FALLS!!!!!!!

BB Tween They are SO ROMANTIC!!!!! YOU GUYS don’t know what your talking about!!!

Gloom Lyrical Evening Fails.
Lurking Liker Likes this

Roxy Repost

Rpost to spead good cheer to all your friends!!!
Lurking Liker Likes This

Gloom Lyrical AUGH! My Eyes! It’s like Glitter Vomit!

Izzy Illiterate don’t listen to him! its beutiful! im repasting it rite now!

Izzy Illiterate
It so awsum!!!!

Rpost to spead good cheer to all your friends!!!
Roxy Repost Likes This

Izzy Illiterate devrybody share! itso prety!!!!!

Lorenzo Literate Good grief…

Grammie Happy
Hey, all my Facebook friends! Please send up some prayers! I’m at my daughters house looking for my grandbabies! We know where the triplets are, but they are covered in orange dust, blue paste, and they smell quite minty fresh! The others must have decorated them and gone into hiding! They are just too cute!

Joyful Exclamations Praying!

Rainbow Sunshine Me too!

Joy Lyrical Me three!

Gladys Grizzle You need t’ invest in a king sized wooden spoon, Lillian! Works wonders on the little blighters!

Gloom Lyrical From Mamma’s past record of kid related disaster. I’m not so sure I’d even want to find them.

Gladys Grizzle Well, Sounds like a wooden spoon might work some wonders on this’n’s backside too!

Joy Lyrical Gloom, what a dreadful thing to say! Take it back or I’ll tape over that horrible “Weeping Emo” concert you taped last week with “Laurence Welk's Greatest Hits”!

Gloom Lyrical PLEASE!!! NO!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! SORRY!!! I’M SO SORRY!!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!

Lorenzo LiterateWhy must I be the rowboat? Rowboat of sanity.
Set adrift in an endless sea, An endless sea of insanity. – FamousSnobbyGuy
Gloom Lyrical Likes this

Izzy Illiterate ooooh!!! is ths poetrey!!? Wut dose it mean? I never get ur quots. theyr always lik misteryus and stuff.

Lorenzo Literate My case. I rest it here.

Joy Lyrical Oh Lorenzo, you’re so mean. Funny, but mean. :)

Mamma Frazzled
Well, I found one. Good gravy. What, did she think I wouldn’t notice the curtain, the wall, and her dress if she swept up the rest of the evidence?!?!?!


Lurking Liker Likes This

Rainbow Sunshine Oh, praise the Lord she’s ok! At least you have a willing helper!

Ima Bean NUM-NUM!!!! LICK FLOOR!!!! 8D

Whiney McDramaPants
Sckool is the worst! I H8 IT SO MUTCH!!!!! I H8 MY TEACHRS SO MUTCH!!!

Izzy illiterate I heer ys gurl! I never get what thy sying anewy! it so dumb!

Whiney McDramaPants I KNOW!!! WY DO WE EVEN NEDD TOO KNOW THS STUF NEWAY!>?!?!?!

Lorenzo Literate Hmmm… What a quandary… I can’t think of a single reason…

Whiney McDramaPants SEE!!!!!! THANK U!!! SUM1 AGREES WITH ME!!!!!

Lorenzo Literate Facebook is in dire need of a sarcasm font…

Mitch Morebuff
Whoah! I totally need to hit the gym! It’s been like 5 hours since I lifted any heavy objects with my buff, manly arms! I’m gonna get so fat!
Bertha Biceps Likes this


Mamma FrazzledI found another one! I’m going to cry now!


Lurking Liker Likes This

Izzy Illiterate tats so cutt!!! but rely mesy srry tht U hav too kleen that upp…

BB Tween Please, don’t EVER ask me to babysit…

Crazy Uncle BA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aunty Uncle Craig, was that really necessary?

Crazy Uncle Ahem… Sorry, lost my voice there. I had to leave and get a glass of water. Ok, where was I? Oh yes. BA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Aunty Uncle Ok, I have to admit, it is a little funny. :)

T. M. Info Hey, you should be glad it’s only toothpaste! She is in the bathroom after all!

Mrs. Info Thomas Michael! I am SO sorry that my son has disgraced the comments section of your picture! It won’t happen again! Oh, who am I kidding. I know very well he’ll be back… I’m so ashamed…

Gloom Lyrical
“I heard a dead bird. I wept 7 tears.” – FamousGothBand

Gloom Lyrical It’s like they’ve been reading my journals. :’( Such inspiring lyrics…

Mamma FrazzledAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!! I FOUND ANOTHER ONE! I swear! These children will be the death of me!!!

Rainbow Sunshine Is he ok!? Why would he jump off the roof?

Grammie Happy He’s a boy. What other reason do you need? :) He’s fine. Thank goodness they have that trampoline I bought them in the back yard! Perfect for catching mischievous superheroes! :)
Lurking Liker Likes This

Lorie LuvvieI miss my Schmoopie-Pie SOOO MUCH!!!!!

David Duvvie And I miss my Wittle Wuvvie-Woo SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lorenzo Literate And I miss not being sick to my stomach.

Frankie SportsFreak
What could be better than chips, dip, and Coke while watching the big game?! NOTHING!
Fanny LuvSports Likes This

Ferdie Foodie How about Hot Wings, Pizza, Chips, Dip, Tacos, Chili, Mountain Dew AND PECAN PIE!??! YEAH! TOTAL PARTY GOIN’ ON OVER HERE!!!! Who are you rooting for? I’m rooting for the Screaming Flamingos! I hope they crush the Flaming Cow Patties! Their team name is SERIOUSLY turning me off my pecan pie…

Frankie SportsFreak I’m not watching football. The Awesome Awesomes really let me down last week. I almost lost the will to live. I stayed in bed weeping for two days afterward. It was just so devastating. Now I’ve just become hardened against the entire sport. Besides, I found a MUCH better game to watch! I LOVE EXTREME MOUNTAIN BADMINTONNING!

Mamma Frazzled
Thanks for all your prayers and concern everyone! I found them all. Total damage was a kitchen covered in frosting, a dining room covered in smashed Cheetos, (Walls and curtains stained orange) a bathroom covered in toothpaste, (Towels stained blue and a digital alarm clock short-circuiting in the toilet) and a child covered from head to toe in mud after jumping off the roof, onto a trampoline, and quadruple summersaulting through the air into a giant mud pool he created with the hose. Mamma needs her sedatives now.
Lurking Liker Likes This

Rainbow Sunshine Praise the Lord your children are all safe and sound!

BB Tween Seriously. Never ask me to babysit. My fees are 30 bucks an hour.

Mamma Frazzled Worth every penny. Be here Thursday at 5.

BB Tween I MEANT 40!!!!

Mamma Frazzled Still worth it.

BB Tween Per kid?

Mamma Frazzled You drive a hard bargain, but ok!

BB Tween I’m gonna be rich! Dead, but rich!

Gloom Lyrical Where would you like your funeral to be held?

Grammie Happy  Mamma FrazzledI hope you don’t mind, dear, but I simply must share the pic of my sweet little preshie-kins toothpasting the toilet! It’s so adorable! I must share it with my friends!

Mamma Frazzled Oh, go ahead, mom. It won’t make my emotional scars any worse than they already are. :)

Grammie Happy shared Mamma Frazzled’s Photo

Grammie Happy Awe! I’nt my little granbaby just da sweetest?! :D

Joyful Exclamations TOO Sweet! :D

Rainbow Sunshine Just plain adorable! But I do feel badly for her poor mother…

Penny Pincher What a dreadful waste of toothpaste!

Gladys Grizzle What a mess! You’d better tell her mama to git herself a wooden spoon! This child needs a swattin’! Fast!

Rabid Liberal I am glad this isn’t your kid Mrs. Grizzle! I would call Child Protective Services on you so fast it’d make your head spin!

Gladys Grizzle What kind of friends are y’all addin’ on Facebook, Lillian? Sounds like this’n should be soundly spanked himself!

Rabid Liberal Bring it, Grandma!

Gladys Grizzle Tough talk from someone too chicken to use his real name, you namby-pamby, whiny, weasley, little wimp! I bet you’re a forty-eight-year-old nerd, still livin’ in his mother’s basement with no job, survivin’ on welfare, eating nothin’ but pizza, doing nothin’ but surfing the internet, playin’ World of Warcraft, and complainin’ on facebook about how unfair and unjust life is. Amiright?

Rabid Liberal IM ONLY 36 AND I WORK AT MCDONALDS AND I WENT TO COLLEGE!!!!

Gladys Grizzle Congratulations! You win life!

R.W. Republicrazy Go Granny, Go Granny, Go Granny, Go! :D

Rabid Liberal YOU STAY OUT OF THIS YOU !!!!!!!!!
Angry McToiletMouth Likes this

Gladys Grizzle and R.W. Republicrazy are now friends
Lurking Liker Likes This

G. O. Pachyderm Gladys, after reading your conversation it would be my honor to be facebook friends with such a classy lady like yourself.

Indie Pendant Me too? I’m sure we may not see eye to eye on everything, but I like your spunk!

Gladys Grizzle Three new friends in one day? This old lady’s still got it!

Gladys Grizzle is now friends with G. O. Pachyderm, Indie Pendant, and 37 Other People.


Gladys Grizzle Well! Don’t y’all know how to make an old gal feel special! Now, just ‘cause I friended y’all don’t mean I’m gonna play all nice-like! I’ma still speakin’ my mind if my mind needs a speakin’!
R. W. Republicrazy, Indie Pendant, G. O. Pachyderm and 37 Others Like This


Joyful Exclamations This is my new theme song! :D

Joy Lyrical, Rainbow Sunshine, and 52 Others Like This