Wednesday, August 13, 2014

True Facts! 17!

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Did you know that Porcupines taste exactly like Pork AND Pines? The man who discovered this will always be remembered as a tragic hero. #TrueFact

Did you know that the Scottish Sasquatch is the only known primate to voluntarily wear clothing? He loves the feel of the wind under his kilt. #TrueFact

Did you know that Grey Flavored Diet Doctor Ticklez is the second most disgusting flavor of soda on earth? The MOST disgusting is Brown Flavor. #TrueFact

Did you know that cats do not particularly care about cleanliness? The only reason they lick themselves is because they taste delicious. #TrueFact

Did you know that "Ultimate Biscuits" was the least popular Extreme Cooking competition ever to air on the History Channel? It's only demographic was elderly women ages 75 to 97. #TrueFact

Did you know that the most popular tourist destination in Davenport, Iowa is a huge pile of wild ants? #TrueFact

Did you know that the bearded mime, is the only species to have never been domesticated? The closest anyone ever came was getting them to wear loincloths, and thank goodness for that! #TrueFact

Did you know that babies were not always delivered by storks? In the olden days, people actually had to set up baby traps out in the woods to catch their own! #TrueFact

Did you know that the world famous dish, Potatoes O'Brian, was named for its creator? Sadly, Mr. O'Brian died a bitter old man, never fully able to forgive his parents for naming him Potatoes. #TrueFact

Did you know that Cat Woman's grandmother is also a criminal? And unlike Cat Woman, she actually has legit super powers. She doesn't have super strength, or super vision, actually, she can barely see and she  needs a walker just to get around. No, Cat Woman's grandmother can telepathically control an army of cats, and her name is CatLady Woman. CatLady Woman uses her cats to rob yarn shops, hijack the senior bus, and cheat at bingo. Most of her cats are just "Muscle," but she has five who are her right hand cats, who actually help plan her evil schemes. Their names are Professor Stuffkins, Muffy, Lil' Sweetie LovinPie, Honey BooBoo, and Lord MurderDeath. The other cats think that Lord MurderDeath is a bit soft, ever since he let a two-years-old baby get away with pulling his tail, but he's CatLady Woman's favorite, so they have no choice but to tolerate him. #TrueFact