Monday, July 17, 2017

7 Years

I very rarely remember my "Bloggiversaries," but thinks to Facebook's handy, "On This Day" feature, I realized that today was the 7 year anniversary since I started this thing.


I didn't remember writing that, like a lot of the things I find in "On This Day," but I just thought this was interesting. It really is just like me. For the last few days I'd been seeing posts from that year talking about starting a blog, looking for feedback, no one ever responded, but I decided to do it anyway. And that about sums up my decision process. I get an idea in my head,  I think about it long enough, and then I just decide to randomly go for it one day with no warning.

Completely coincidentally, today is also the two month anniversary of my YouTube channel. I uploaded the first video on May 17th, and just like my blog, it was something I'd been thinking about for quite some time, and then one day, with no warning to myself, I just randomly decided to film and upload a video, and I haven't looked back since.

Well, I guess that's about all. I didn't really have much more to say beyond that. I just found it interesting that in some ways I am a completely different person than the one who posted that first blog post 7 years ago, but as different as I am, I'm pretty much still basically the same person. And I know that sounds like something that makes no sense, but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. Just how I like it. :p

Monday, July 3, 2017

#TrumpFacts

Before we begin, I just want to say that this is not meant to be an offensive political post,  it's meant to be nothing more that the nonsensical randomness that all my other #TrueFacts posts are. Plus, I'm not only picking on Donald Trump, I did this to a ton of other presidents like three years ago as well. You can find that post HERE if you're curious.

Also, before we begin, I just want to say, that I tried to avoid the easy jokes. I really did. But there are just so many! Everyone always makes fun of his hair, his hands, his cold and distant wives, and I really didn't WANT to think of any of those kinds of jokes. I really did try to have everything in this post be just as weird and random as everything else I always write, but the easy jokes just kept coming to me!

So, to compromise, before we get to the real jokes, here are the dumbest, lamest, stupidest, easiest jokes, that I came up with. I'll leave these here, outside of the "Official" #TrueFacts list, as some bonus content that doesn't actually count as my list. They were too dumb to include, but they still made me laugh, so here they are.

I apologize in advance. :p
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Did you know that Donald Trump's hair is actually a nest of living orange hamsters? #TrueFact

Did you know that Donald Trump has a secret White House pet that no one knows about? It's an orange beaver named Winston that lives on his head. #TrueFact

Did you know that Dunston Checks In, the classic movie from the 90's about an adorable orangutan who's living in a hotel, was based on Donald Trump's hair? #TrueFact

Did you know that before Donald Trump married Melania, 27 other brides got lost in the mail? #TrueFact

Did you know that Donald Trump's hands are so tiny that he has to use a carrot with an apricot poked onto each end to lift weights? #TrueFact

Did you know that during a rough patch in their marriage, Donald Trump once tried to ship his first wife Ivana to Abu Dhabi?  He forgot to poke holes in the box and she died.  #TrueFact
(I am SO sorry, I know it's terrible, but I just couldn't help myself. And also I was literally laughing at this for hours after I wrote it, so I had to keep it. :p)

Did you know that Donald Trump once tried to tear down the Muppet Theater because he thought there was oil under it? #TrueFact

Did you know Donald Trump once tried to open a fast food franchise to sell french fried frog legs as well as turn Kermit the Frog into his own personal mascot-slash-appetizer? #TrueFact

Did you know that Donald Trump once tried to seduce Miss Piggy and steal the Baseball Diamond from Lady Holiday? #TrueFact

Did you know that Donald Trump once kidnapped Big Bird and locked him in a giant birdcage in order to force him to perform at his circus? #TrueFact

Okay, yes, the last four jokes are all the plots of various Muppet movies with Donald Trump replacing the villains. I once heard a comedian say that Donald Trump was like a cartoon villain who'd bulldoze a kid's playground to build a hotel, so of course I imagined him as a Muppet villain instead. :p

Now, on to the real(totally not real) #TrueFacts! I make no promises that any of these are any better!

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Did you know that Donald Trump uses orange marmalade as styling gel? His gorgeous coif both looks and tastes incredible! #TrueFact

Did you know that while the average human is 60% water, Donald Trump is actually 60% tanning lotion? And also like, 10% hemorrhoid cream. #TrueFact

Did you know that Donald Trump has a ventriloquist dummy modeled after himself named Li'l Trumpy? He uses it to talk to Melania when they're alone. That's the real reason she has her own bedroom. #TrueFact

Did you know that Donald Trump's childhood idol was Scrooge McDuck? That's why he's always puckering his lips. He's just trying to be like his beloved childhood hero. #TrueFact

Did you know that Trump Tower is actually one of Donald Trump's massive money bins? Most of his hotels and properties don't have any floors, they are just giant fancy boxes to keep his money in. Just another bit of inspiration from his fine feathered idol. #TrueFact

Did you know that Donald Trump once tried to recreate Scrooge's iconic money bin dive? In 1992, he installed a diving board at the top of his Plaza Hotel in New York. Unfortunately the Plaza went bankrupt in the middle of his dive and he ended up in a body cast for 6 months. #TrueFact
(And before you ask, yes, the moment he went bankrupt, all the money magically disappeared in a puff of smoke. I know it makes no sense! Does any of the rest of this?)
Did you know that Donald Trump owns a body cast signed by Scrooge McDuck? He actually went all the way to Disneyland himself to get it signed. Ivana Trump, his wife at the time, said it was the only time she'd ever seen him cry. It was a single tear of happiness, but it still counts! #TrueFact

Did you know that one of Donald Trump's first acts as president was to break the Presidential Lasagna Eating Record? The previous record had been held for 136 years by President Garfield.



Did you know that one of teenage Donald Trump's first jobs was to be the clown mascot for a small chain of hamburger restaurants called McDoogals? He did such a great job, they actually renamed the whole chain in his honor. #TrueFact

Did you know that the real reason that Donald Trump hates Hillary Clinton is that she rejected his elaborate musical-flash-mob-prom-posal back in 1963? He actually still has a secret crush on her, and is masking his wounded pride with insults. #TrueFact

Friday, June 30, 2017

This Month in Internet (June 2017)


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This Month's TMI is going to begin the same way the last one did, with a new video from Avriel and the Sequoias. The EP is out now and it is so good. I can't wait until he puts out a full album.



Next we have another Peter and Evynne Hollens duet! This time they are doing a song from one of my childhood favorite movies, At the Beginning, from Anastasia.



One of my favorite artists from years ago, Lights, just released a new song, and it sounds like the perfect fusion of the way her recent music has sounded, and the way she sounded years ago when I first discovered her. I love it!



And speaking of old favorites releasing new music! Owl City just released a new song! The music isn't his normal electronic sound, but I like it, and the acoustic sound just goes so well with his voice. There will be plenty of time for electronic music when he releases his next album. I can't wait!



And for a completely different kind of old favorite, here is Rob Paulson, voice of Yakko from the Animaniacs, singing Yakko's World, absolutely perfectly, more than 20 years later! I don't know how he managed to memorize this thing, but I suppose it's one of those things that once it's in your head, it's there forever.



The premise of this sketch by Studio C is kind of dumb, but the over-the-top performances by the cast, as well as some of the hilarious, ridiculous lines, just make me laugh so much that it somehow became one of my favorites. "Tell my roommates, I hate them!!!!"



Puddles just released a new song. It's amazing.



And in case you were missing Postmodern Jukebox in Puddles' video, here's their best song from the month. It is amazing. Especially considering that I used to hate the original song with an unreasonable and unprovoked passion. (Don't ask me why, I'm not even sure young me knew why.) However, I absolutely love this version.



The only thing I don't like about this latest Disney medley by Voctave is how terribly short it is. I just want them to sing every Disney song ever, for hours on end.



We'll end this with another Disney medley, Peter Hollens recently collaborated with another YouTuber, Whitney Avalon, on a Disney villain medley, and it was one of the best things he's done in a very long time. And I love everything he does, so you know this one's amazing.



What the heck, internet? I wrote this post the night before it was to go up, June 29th, and I wake up this morning, June 30th, and apparently half the internet had decided to save their best videos for the last day of the month! So, I am sorry Peter Hollens, you are no longer my grand finale!

First up on this bonus half of the post, Puddles is back with another David Bowe cover!



Nataly Dawn covered the BeeGees.



And Walk Off the Earth just released their first original song in ages! I absolutely love this song, and it is literally the best song I have heard all month. Hands down, no contest. I love it so much, I will probably be playing this on repeat until I can't listen to it anymore. Yes, it is that good. This will now be the final video is my post. What a way to close out the month!

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Throwback Thursday: Donna East

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So I guess I'm jumping on the whole "Throwback Thursday" bandwagon. As you can see, I even made myself a logo.

And I even made a typo that I didn't catch. That'll teach me to graphic design at 3:30 in the morning... Oh well. That'll have to wait till after work tonight. I suppose I'll be fixing it at 3:30 in the morning again... :p

Anyway...

For awhile now I've been thinking of doing posts about things I liked as a kid, or like, 5-10-15 years ago, any non-recent things. I tried to think of my own clever title. Wayback Wednesday, Flashback Friday, no, those were taken as well, and really, aren't they just cheap imitations of the real thing? I mean, if I'm going to do this, why not just go with the original. There's a reason it is the internet's standard for all nostalgia-based social media postings. So Throwback Thursday it is.

This is not going to be a regular series. This is probably just going to be one of those things that I'm only going to post when I feel like it. As long as it's Thursday. And today I felt like it. Actually I felt like it a few days ago, but I waited for Thursday, because otherwise, what's the point of jumping on the trendwagon?

Anyway, today's post is about Donna East. "Who's Donna East?" you ask? Well, I suppose you can be forgiven for not knowing. After all she has less than ten videos on YouTube, and almost all of them were posted literally ten years ago. And that's probably when we watched them. I think it was either my Aunt Sherri or my cousins who first showed her videos to me. I think it started because there was a series of clean stand-up comedy DVDs that had gotten semi-popular in Christian circles called "Bananas." She was featured on one of them, and I know, especially Shaina, was really into those comedians for awhile. Here's a clip of her from that show if you're interested.



I think that led one of them to do some internetting, which eventually led them to her channel. And what they found would change our lives forever. Or not. Really, it just gave us a bunch of lines to quote for years to come, and taught us to call our fingers 'Phalanges.'



That one is probably the most quoted because of the 'Phalanges' line. Here's the second most quoted.



"Let's think about that for a moment, shall we?"

They're not all extremely quotable, but they are all insane. All of her characters seem to be completely out of their minds. And I love that about her. :p



This next one is probably her most insane character, and maybe her best. I saved it for last because it's probably my favorite. Well, Alice Coopers is probably my favorite too, but this one has a puppet with rage issues, and if you know me, you know how much I love insane puppets, so please don't make me choose. :p



Anyway, that's Donna East. The greatest comedian you've never heard of. Until now. I guess now that you've heard of her, that sentence no longer applies. She's still pretty great though!

According to her website, she's still out there, doing comedy somewhere. She makes live appearances, but she just doesn't have a very big online presence. And I really wish she did. She'd probably be one of my favorite YouTubers if she'd bring her act to the internet. I'd love an ongoing cooking show with Alice, or a weekly puppet rage show. I just need more of her characters! Donna! If you're out there! Please come back to YouTube! The world of the internet needs you!

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

So, am I a YouTuber?

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Awhile back I mentioned that I had started a new YouTube channel. I have had one before, a channel where I posted some personal projects, school assignments, some videos I'd done with my friends, etc. I'll link to that channel HERE if you're interested.

Anyway, I have wanted to make YouTube videos for ages now. I've thought about it off and on since probably 2011, 2012, ever since I'd really started getting into watching YouTubers on a regular basis. The problem was, I never had time, I was always in school, I had work, I had a lot of reasons why I never started.

And of course there's also the issue that I never felt like I would be any good at it, so I just didn't. I've let that feeling stop me from doing a LOT of things over the years, and I am working on getting over that.

When I started getting closer to the end of my time at Iowa State, I started thinking about it again, a bit more seriously this time, so I brought it up to one of my fellow writers at the Rotoscopers, Rachel Wagner, and she asked me if I wanted to co-host an episode of her podcast/YouTube show with her. Eventually we decided to review Doctor Who, and every week since then we have been talking about the new episodes of season 10 as they air. I'll link you to the latest one here so you can see how that's going.



That sort of let me test the waters before I fully committed to making my own channel and after a few weeks, I just decided to go for it. I had no more excuses. I was out of school, at the time I wasn't working because I was preparing some projects in order to apply for more internships, I had (some) free time, plus this would be a very good way to practice video editing, which I had been needing to do, so one day I just spontaneously decided to record a video and I put it up. And the next day I put up another one. A couple days later I did another.

I've now been putting up at least one video a week for over a month, and I am very close to being happy with them. I am of course, still self critical about most of it, but I think I am slowly improving, which is what I wanted. I still don't care for my on-camera presence very much, but I think a lot of people feel that way, and I just need to get over it.

Right now my channel is mostly movie reviews, I love reviewing things, as you can tell from all the time I've spent working for the Rotoscopers, however, I am open to experimenting with different kinds of videos. I just need ideas. The main reason, other than the fact that it's fun, that I am doing it for now, is to practice different video editing techniques, so the more things I do the better. Right now, the reason I have been so consistent with my output, is that I've started a series called Wonderland Wednesday. Every week I look at a new version of Alice in Wonderland, and there are a LOT of versions, so I have plenty of material.

When I first started thinking about this project, I really only thought there'd be like, 10 versions out there, but when I went to make a list, I found that there were far more than 10. However, I am a huge Alice in Wonderland fan, so instead of feeling daunted, I thought it would be a lot of fun to review them all.

This series started with me reviewing the 2010 live action Disney version of the story, because Rachel Wagner does not like it at all, and I do. She suggested that I review it to explain what I like about it, so I did.



The next version I decided to do was the 1999 version, because ever since I was a kid it has been one of my favorites.



After I did those two, Rachel told me that she really liked the 1933 version of the story, so I did that one next.



As you can tell from that video, I reference watching it with my cousin. Sarah is also a big fan of Alice in Wonderland, so I had decided that I would watch some of them with her before I reviewed them. However, the next week we watched the 1903 version of the story, and she absolutely loved it, so much so, that I asked her if she wanted to guest host the next episode with me, and she agreed!



We actually had so much fun that she agreed to keep co-hosting as long as we had versions she wanted to watch. We filmed two more episodes the next week, but due to computer cord issues, I had no power to edit with for a few days, so I filmed a quick review with my phone that week, and uploaded directly to YouTube. I am actually almost proud of that video, because I managed to make it through with very few stumbles, and I did it all in one take, with no cuts or edits. As you can probably tell from my other videos, I usually am normally heavily editing myself.



This week's video is another one with Sarah, but after my issues the last time, I ended up losing the micro SD card that I had filmed the other two videos on. So on Monday we got back together, and refilmed both of them. Then I stayed up until 4 this morning editing it to get it done in time. The first one here is the 1910 version, and the 1915 version will be out next week.



So that's what I've been up to recently. Am I a YouTuber now? I don't know. I make videos for YouTube, but I only have 6 subscribers, and one of them is me, one of them is my mom, and one of them is Rachel, so really it's more like I have three. :p I'm not sure what "Being a YouTuber" means, but if I'm not one now, I might be someday. Right now I am having a lot of fun with it, and I am getting a lot of practice in editing videos, as well as in Photoshop for the thumbnails. And since being a video editor (and graphic designer) is one of the jobs on my list of "Things I want to be when I grow up," I think the time I'm spending on it is time well spent. :)

If you have a YouTube account, I'd love it if you'd subscribe. I'm not one to ask that in every video, but since I'm mostly talking to friends and family here, I thought I'd ask this once. It would be nice to have a few more subscribers so it doesn't feel like I'm shouting into the void. :p You don't have to if you don't want to of course, but hopefully you'll get some sort of entertainment out of them. And if you like them, feel free to share them with your friends! Okay, now I am sounding like a real YouTuber so I'll stop. :)

I probably won't repost every video to my blog, but I'll probably do an update post every once in awhile to let you know how it's going. Right now it's going well, and I'm looking forward to seeing where this takes me!

Thursday, June 22, 2017

#TrueFacts 23

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Did you know that in 1857 five states went missing? Michconsin, North Michigan, South Ontario, Old York, and Pennsylvania's Hat all vanished one day, leaving nothing behind but the ocean they were floating on. The locals didn't want to alarm anyone, so they just pretended they'd never been there at all, and called the leftover ocean holes the Great Lakes. #TrueFact

Did you know that there is a man in Idaho that grows parsley instead of hair? #TrueFact

Did you know that a cat named Prrbld outlawed the use of vowels in Brazil? It didn't do any good, Prrbld holds no positions of authority and everyone ignored him. #TrueFact

Did you know that bagpipe dubstep is the single-most hated genre of music in the entire history of ever? In fact, it is currently illegal in almost every country except Scotland and Germany. #TrueFact

Did you know that the vacuum of space is a Dyson? It was a Kirby, but after about a million years, God got tired of lugging that heavy thing out of the closet every time, and replaced it with a far lighter, and far superior, Dyson Upright. #TrueFact

Did you know that the world has ended 6 times in the past? The most recent was the great donut apocalypse of 3400 BC. A giant bismark comet collided with a caramel pecan asteroid, just a few miles west of the moon, shooting creme filling all over the earth. The few who survived said it was the most delicious apocalypse they had ever experienced. It was way better than that time it rained fiery Brussels sprouts from the heavens in 3456. #TrueFact
P.S. Yes it is spelled with a capital B, and yes it does end with an S. It was named after the Brussels region of Belgium. Boom. You just learned something actually real from this blog post of facts that is anything but. #ActualTrueFact

Did you know that Charles Darwin's luxurious beard was not real? He lost his original facial hair in a tragic bearding accident and was forced to wear a prosthetic beard for the rest of his life. #TrueFact

Did you know that in 1991 it happened? It's true! I saw it! #TrueFact

Did you know that everyone mispronounces Babylon? It's actually pronounced Baby-Lawn. #TrueFact

Did you know that some 5 dollar bills are purple because Abraham Lincoln is holding his breath? #TrueFact

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Twist Ending 12

I haven't done one of these since 2014. I suppose I could have, but most of my "bad" experiences are usually just minor annoyances. Ames is generally such a friendly city, I never have any encounters with people mean enough to immortalize in fiction. I probably see hundreds, if not thousands of people a day, as opposed to the maybe a couple hundred, at the very most, that I see at home, and I really can't complain because most everyone in Ames is just super nice.

Sadly, this story happened at home. Literally my second day back. Not even kidding. My cousin even joked about me being inspired to write another story as soon as I got back to work. We laughed, but little did I know that her joke was practically a prophecy. Why is my small town so much grumpier than a big city?

Since I haven't written one of these in so long, I haven't even created a logo for the series. I think I started doing logos for my different series after I'd written the last one. Anyway, since I like my stuff to have images,  I decided to quickly whip one up. I really hope I never have anything worth turning into one of these stories again, but just in case...


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"Give me a pack of Pall Mall Blue 100's," the elderly man demanded.

"Sure thing. Do you have an ID I can scan?"

"F@&#! Why the h@% don't you type in a birthdate like everyone else?"

"We're not allowed to, we have to scan everyone's ID."

"Don't give me that $#!!, you could skip it if you wanted to!"

"I'm sorry, only the managers can skip the ID, I'm not a manager."

"Yeah, I can see why!"

"I'm sorry, but unless I call a manager to override the system, I have to scan an ID."

"Yeah, you just wait until I get this whole place shut down!" He exclaimed angrily.

~

That night, as the man sat in front of his flickering, 12 channel television set from 1975, eating a lukewarm, Swanson's frozen dinner, his doorbell rang.

"Who the #@&% is it at this hour! It's 6:30 at night! Why aren't you people in bed!?"

He hobbled over to the door and swung it open angrily. Outside there was a pale man in a black suit, holding a legal pad on a clipboard. On his lapel was a tiny pin shaped like a scythe.

"I was told you had a complaint?"

"What? What are you talking about? I have a complaint about you interrupting my dinner!"

"My records indicate that you had a complaint regarding the way an employee was following his company's policies. Do you care to elaborate?"

"Yeah, can you get that place shut down? Can you fire that guy?"

"No, that's not really my area. My area has more to do with karmic justice." The pale man began scribbling on his clipboard.

"Karmic? What's that? Are you some kind of freak? Get off my property before I call the cops!"

The old man slammed the door in the pale man's face and turned around to go back to his chair, but the pale man was suddenly inside, right in front of him, holding his clipboard.

"What!? Get out of my house!!!" the old man yelled.

The pale man tore the top sheet off his legal pad, handed it to the old man, and tucked the clipboard under his arm.

"You are hereby ordered to cease and desist from all temporal operations, both present and future. From this moment on, you are being reassigned to a new plane of existence. In the meantime, you will be required to complete a standard metaphysical training seminar to help you deal with the issues that brought you to the point of cosmic intervention. Someone will be along shortly to escort you to your next destination. Thank you for your cooperation, and I look forward to our next meeting. Good luck on your journey."

And with that, the pale man was gone, and the house was silent, save for the television, still flickering in the corner.

"I'd like to solve the puzzle Pat!"

"Go right ahead, Stever!"

"'Don't Fear the Reaper By Blue Oyster Cult!'"

"You are correct!" Pat exclaimed, and the audience burst into wild, cheering applause.