Saturday, December 20, 2014

The Internet is Awesome 2

I know I've already done one video compilation post this month, but with as much as I wasn't blogging, I had plenty built up for a second one. And a third one later on, but that'll be just Christmas videos.

First up, we have the music video for my favorite song from the new Annie movie, You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile, performed by Sia.



Great movie by the way, I highly recommend it for anyone who likes musicals.

Next up is a cover of Taylor Swift's Shake it Off, by Alex Boye.



I love the original twists he puts on songs.

Now for someone I haven't featured in awhile, The Piano Guys. I would have featured them awhile ago, but the video they did that I was planning to post, a Batman themes medley, was blocked by some...Well, I probably shouldn't get into that... Anyway...



Awesome as always. I love how they always mix classical music with more modern songs.

Next is a channel I have never featured before as they are relatively new, it's another piano channel but totally different than the piano guys, Player Piano. This time doing the theme to one of my favorite childhood (and adulthood) video games, Tetris!



Their videos are consistently awesome, and always with an awesome custom designed piano.

Next we have the incomparable Lindsey Stirling who can make even a sponsored video amazing.



I've never played Dragon Age, but the video is amazing.

Last but not least, Peter Hollens and... Jackie Evancho?! Really?! It was just last week that she was making headlines as this tiny little girl with a huge, powerful voice! How did she grow up so fast!? In all seriousness, she's amazing, as is Peter, and the video is awesome.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

How To Not Die

I wrote the following post for my journalism class. A class that was grueling, unforgiving, and just plain hard. But the teacher was great, which made it so much better. Anyway, I only wrote one thing for that class that would be of interest to anyone else. The rest was all classmate profiles, an article on homelessness, a recap of a visiting political analyst's speech, and a bunch of other all incredibly dull stories for anyone who doesn't care about them.

But one assignment we were allowed to have fun with. We were to write an article in the form of an instructional blog post. We didn't have to adhere to AP Style, we didn't have to report on anything, we just had to explain how to do something. When I'm given such wide parameters, you know I'm not going to do just any old normal thing like, "How to Bake a Cake," or "How to Care for a Mohawk," no, I'm going to tell you all about not dying.



How To Not Die

If you're like me, you like living. I know, everyone does. But there could be a problem with that. Death is just around every corner if you're not careful. So, if you want to continue to be alive, here are just a few simple tips that can keep you going for years.
1. Stay out of the woods. I know it's tempting, they just look so big, and cozy, and inviting. But those friendly looking trees have dark secrets, inside the woods are all manner of unholy horrors. Inside each tree are the most disgusting, poisonous, and deadly creatures imaginable, creatures like insects, lizards, spiders, and squirrels. If you even touch the tree, they will leap out of hiding and tear you to shreds, or inject you with poison. Behind the trees are even more horrors. Lions, tigers, bears, and cassowaries, it all depends on where you live, but any one of these could kill you at any moment, so stay out of the woods.
2. Stay out of the frozen food isle. Unless you are going in there for some frozen peas, you need to give this isle a wide berth when you visit the grocery store. It is chock full of deadly items that are sure to kill you with one bite, or maybe 40. It's really the overeating that kills you. I'm looking at you, pizza rolls…
3. Stay out of the zoo. I know it looks fun, but the zoo is full of animals that can kill you with one chomp from their adorable maw. I know those ocelots are just the most adorable thing ever, but don't even think about climbing over that fence! They will just rip your face off with not even a second thought. Same with the meerkats. I've never actually heard of them attacking anyone, but with a swarm that large, you just never can be too sure. It's the cutest things that can kill you worst. Which brings me to my fourth point.
4. Stay out of the pet shops. You do not want anything that has sharper teeth than Grampa Fred living inside your house.  I'm sure by now you've heard of that old lady who fell down and was eaten by her Pomeranians. You don't want that to happen to you, do you? I didn't think so.
5. Stay out of the garden. You'd think I was going to warn you about the spiders, bugs, and scorpions that live there, but no. Those things are dangerous, yes, but not as dangerous as the plants. The plants can be more deadly than any poison slug or venom slug or worm you might find there. With one sprinkle of pollen you could puff up bigger than a pygmy hippo, and start blasting your lungs out with violent sneezes. Beware.
These five simple guidelines will serve you well, as you progress through life, hoping to avoid death. But if these are too much to remember, just remember this one: Stay in your house and never leave.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Internet Is Awesome

So, apparently I completely abandoned my blog last month, school has been ridiculous. I was planning to do more posts while I was on Thanksgiving break, but I was busy all last week too.
I started this one before I went back to Ames, but I never finished it. This will most likely be it before Christmas break. I'd promise to have more posts then, but I'm not good with those kinds of promises. I'll promise to do at least one, and we'll hope for a miracle.

So, I am changing the title of these post, again, but I think this time it'll stick. I got the name from a Pomplamoose song, see below, and it perfectly describes these posts, and will let me add non-music videos later on if I want to.

Here's the video that inspired the title!



It's such a strange video, more of a spoken word piece than a song, but I really like it. I've played it so many times I can almost 'sing' the whole thing along with her.

This next video is a collaboration between two of my favorite YouTube artists/groups, Lindsey Stirling and Pentatonix.



I loved this so much I immediately shared it on facebook, and right away I was told it was creepy. I didn't think so, I just thought it was awesome. Well come to find, out Pentatonix WANTED it to be just a bit creepy. So joke's on me I guess.

This next one is just Lindsey Stirling. It's not one of my favorite songs of hers, it has more of a country flair which I'm usually rather, 'meh' about, but it is one of her best videos.



I think I'll take back what I just said. The song must have grown on me because I just watched it again, and I liked it a lot better than before.

Now for a solo Pentatonix video.



This is one of my favorite songs from their latest album, and even though the video is really simple, I really like it. Japan is on the bucket list in my head that I've never written down.

Speaking of Japan!



Owl City hadn't released anything for way too long, so this was an awesome surprise! I already love the song, and I can't wait for his next album!

Let's finish this out with a bang! OK GO!



This is probably now my absolute favorite OK Go song. And the video is amazing. They put more work into their videos than pretty much anyone, and it shows.

As I was going through my saved music for these posts, I realized that I had more than enough for two posts, so if I get time, I will do another post. Stay tuned!

Friday, October 31, 2014

MORE Amazing Trick-or-Treat Ideas

You asked for it! Or maybe you didn't. You probably didn't. I just wanted to! More awesome trick-or-tricks, I mean trick-or-treats, to hand out to all the little mutants who come pounding on your door tonight! And if you missed the one I did last year, brush up on it before you continue!
http://jonathanjnorth.blogspot.com/2013/10/amazing-trick-or-treat-ideas.html

Again, this probably goes without saying, but:

Warning: Do not actually attempt any of these in real life. If you do, be aware that results may vary, from mildly scarring a small child for life, to receiving multiple lawsuits from angry parents.



 photo Tricks_zpsc96c8686.png


Dog Biscuits - Open the door and ask the child if they've been a good little boy or girl. When they inevitably lie to your face and say yes, act thrilled. Exclaim, "Wonderful! You get a treat!" Pull a box of MilkBones off the table inside the door and drop one into their bag. Ruffle their hair, and rub both cheeks in your hands exclaiming "Whosa good boy! Whosa good girl!" adjusting the gender as necessary.

A Duck Wearing a Propeller Beanie - Open the door and let the duck waddle slowly outside to the child, propeller gently turning in the breeze. Leave the door open so that the child can hear you quietly weeping inside.

Coon-Skin Cap - Open the door and place the cap carefully on the child's head. Tell them, "I caught that there possum just this mornin'! He sher did put up a fight." Hold up a hand covered in ketchup that seems to be missing two fingers. When the child throws everything into the air and runs away screaming, lift the two hidden fingers back up and laugh evilly to yourself while you collect their candy.

Door Knob - Jerk open the door as hard as you can. Rip the knob out of your door, preferably splintering the wood around the whole knob, pulling the entire locking mechanism free. Yell, "Fetch, boy!" if it's a girl, "Fetch, girl!" if it's a boy, or "Fetch, thing!" if the child has no discernible gender; then throw it as far as you can. End the encounter by slamming the door and using a nail gun to violently nail the door shut from top to bottom.

Lemon Meringue Pie - Whip the door open as fast as you can, and >SPLAP< the entire pie in the child's face, knocking them off the porch into the shrubs. Slam the door and run out the back in order to escape the police.

Infant Baby - Walk slowly outside, completely disheveled, wearing old pajamas that have questionable green and yellow stains covering the front, with a tattered robe overtop that has fallen off one shoulder, holding a baby that is screaming at the top of it's lungs. Make sure you get a baby that has mastered the theatrical arts, so that when the infant sees the trick-or-treater, he, (Or she, you won't know until the first diaper change) will immediately stop crying, reach for the child calling, "MAMA! MAMA!" and leap into their arms. You then shriek, "THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM NOW, SUCKA!!!" and slam the door in their face, lock the deadbolt, close the curtains, and turn off all the lights, while you hide in the basement behind the water heater.

Balloons - Walk out, tears quietly streaming down your face, holding a handful of popped balloon shreds. Sadly say, "They're dead..." then sprinkle them into the child's bag of candy, turn around, and walk back into the house.

Macaroni & Salt -Walk outside with a box of your finest Barilla and a carton of your almost finest Morton, and pour all the macaroni and half the salt into the child's bag. Exclaim, "It's a do it yourself dinner tonight!" Then roll your eyes backwards, and start moaning and rambling incoherently, while turning in a counter-clockwise circle, pouring the remainder of the salt in a circle around you. Turn back to the child, and if they haven't run away in terror, smile and say, "There! That'll keep the Zompires away!"

Candy Corn - Give the child candy corn. Sit quietly while the child eggs your car, TP's your house, and tars and feathers your body. You deserve it for giving out candy corn.

Kool-Aid - Stand outside next to a very large potted plant. Wait until a child is within earshot, and loudly offer the plant some water while holding a comically over-sized watering can. Pretend the plant has accepted your offer, and then unscrew a bottle of Dasani out of an overhead light fixture, and stab it upside down into the dirt. Pretend to react to something the plant has said and hide the giant watering can behind your back and patronizingly explain to it that it is not allowed to have sugar. When the child steps up and says "Trick-Or-Treat," ask them if they would enjoy a fruity beverage. When they reply, pull out the watering can and sprinkle neon blue Kool-Aid over their head. Toss three ice cubes in their sack, and skip into the house, leaping into the air, clicking your heels together, and slamming the door behind you.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Iowa State Daily Articles

As most of you know, I am now a photographer for the Daily instead of a reporter. I've had a few photography assignments, which I will eventually post, but for now I figured it was about time I made an archive of the stories I wrote last semester. I really should have done this a long time ago, but better late than never, right?

My first story was about some design students who had competed in a nationwide contest, and had won.
http://www.iowastatedaily.com/news/article_ddaa34ee-a19b-11e3-907f-0019bb2963f4.html

My second story was about some more design students who flew to France to study fabric.
http://www.iowastatedaily.com/news/article_d4007902-b399-11e3-b119-001a4bcf887a.html

My third story was about the "Campanile Challenge" which brought awareness to homelessness on campus.
http://www.iowastatedaily.com/news/article_32a6de78-bb7a-11e3-9334-0019bb2963f4.html

My fourth story was about four students who won a prestigious scholarship.
http://www.iowastatedaily.com/news/article_8a21990c-c013-11e3-a8e6-001a4bcf887a.html

My fifth story was about a professor in the design school who won a service award.
http://www.iowastatedaily.com/news/article_40f46e92-c5a1-11e3-ada3-0019bb2963f4.html

My last story was about a fasion show that created gowns out of garbage.
http://www.iowastatedaily.com/news/article_b946ddd0-cb23-11e3-baa8-0019bb2963f4.html

I did have two other stories, but one was never published, as it was written at the same time as the VEISHA riot, and was understandably pushed back again and again, and eventually scrapped. The other story was for a magazine handed out on campus for new students and was never published online.

Anyway, as far as I know, these are the only stories I'll be writing for the paper. From now on it will just be photography, and I'll get those up eventually.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

More Music 2!

I've been so busy since school started I've kind of been neglecting my blog. And it will probably be that way for awhile. I've been saving videos on YouTube you make these posts, but I haven't taken the time to put a post together since before I went back to Ames.

For this post, I will be posting one video each from some of my favorite YouTube artists.

First up, the best group on the internet, Pentatonix, covering Ariana Grande's "Problem," which I have already shared here because I liked it so much. But, as much as I love Ariana Grande, I think Pentatonix' cover is even better.



Next up is the Gregory Brothers with an AMAZING cover of Imagine Dragons' "Radioactive." I grew up on bluegrass as that was almost all that my dad played in the house, and while I don't listen to it much now, when it's done this well, I'm obsessed. I LOVE the weird choice of turning "Radioactive" into a bluegrass song.



Next up in Lindsey Stirling with "Master of Tides."



She filmed that live, in ONE take, and no one there was expecting it. It was basically a flash-mob situation. These people certainly were in the right place at the right time!

Next is Rhett and Link with a video about going on vacation, and they released it while I was on vacation. I was briefly obsessed with this song, and I think I listened to it more than once every day while we were on vacation. Mild warning, if you strongly dislike either fake blood or zombies, don't watch it, as it has both.



Rhett and Link are masters at taking a strange concept and turning it into an extremely catchy song. And this is yet another example of someone doing zombies that I DON'T hate. Not many people can do that.

Next we have a YouTuber I've never featured by name before, Melodysheep. He was responsible for many of my previous posts though. He was behind all of PBS Digitals "PBS Remixed" videos. I never credited him there though, so I've gone back and at least tagged all those posts with a Melodysheep label. If you need a refresher on what else he's done, click the Melodysheep label at the bottom of this post and it will bring up all my past posts with videos by him.

Anyhow... This video is a tribute to the late, great Robin Williams. I had it on repeat for days after he posted it. I think I should just go ahead and buy the track.



Perfect.

Last but definitely not least is another video by Peter Hollens with an artist I had not heard of till this video, Malukah. This is so good. Definitely a new favorite.



And that's all for now. Hopefully it won't be too long before I get another blog post up.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Cookie Monstrous

So Cookie Monster did a thing. They seriously need to make a Sesame Street for grown-ups. Or at least one for families. Like the Muppet Show, but with the Sesame Street Muppets.



The outtakes are even better than the main video.


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

True Facts! 17!

 photo TrueFacts_zps430d290d.png

Did you know that Porcupines taste exactly like Pork AND Pines? The man who discovered this will always be remembered as a tragic hero. #TrueFact

Did you know that the Scottish Sasquatch is the only known primate to voluntarily wear clothing? He loves the feel of the wind under his kilt. #TrueFact

Did you know that Grey Flavored Diet Doctor Ticklez is the second most disgusting flavor of soda on earth? The MOST disgusting is Brown Flavor. #TrueFact

Did you know that cats do not particularly care about cleanliness? The only reason they lick themselves is because they taste delicious. #TrueFact

Did you know that "Ultimate Biscuits" was the least popular Extreme Cooking competition ever to air on the History Channel? It's only demographic was elderly women ages 75 to 97. #TrueFact

Did you know that the most popular tourist destination in Davenport, Iowa is a huge pile of wild ants? #TrueFact

Did you know that the bearded mime, is the only species to have never been domesticated? The closest anyone ever came was getting them to wear loincloths, and thank goodness for that! #TrueFact

Did you know that babies were not always delivered by storks? In the olden days, people actually had to set up baby traps out in the woods to catch their own! #TrueFact

Did you know that the world famous dish, Potatoes O'Brian, was named for its creator? Sadly, Mr. O'Brian died a bitter old man, never fully able to forgive his parents for naming him Potatoes. #TrueFact

Did you know that Cat Woman's grandmother is also a criminal? And unlike Cat Woman, she actually has legit super powers. She doesn't have super strength, or super vision, actually, she can barely see and she  needs a walker just to get around. No, Cat Woman's grandmother can telepathically control an army of cats, and her name is CatLady Woman. CatLady Woman uses her cats to rob yarn shops, hijack the senior bus, and cheat at bingo. Most of her cats are just "Muscle," but she has five who are her right hand cats, who actually help plan her evil schemes. Their names are Professor Stuffkins, Muffy, Lil' Sweetie LovinPie, Honey BooBoo, and Lord MurderDeath. The other cats think that Lord MurderDeath is a bit soft, ever since he let a two-years-old baby get away with pulling his tail, but he's CatLady Woman's favorite, so they have no choice but to tolerate him. #TrueFact

Saturday, July 19, 2014

More Music!

I've decided that these music video posts will be called More Music. Until I don't like that name anymore. The name change was a split second decision like 2 seconds ago. Sometimes I can be fickle.

Behold the worst Owl City music video ever. That's not to say it's bad. As it is an Owl City song, there is no way that it could ever be bad by default. That's just impossible. But it can be not as good as any other Owl City music video. And it is. It is not as good as any other Owl City music video ever.



I love the song, I just don't like the video. Literally the only part that I liked was the female wolves dancing. And the music. I love the music. Also, if there were any illuminati symbols mixed into those flashing pictures, I'd love that too. I love it when people do that kind of thing. Freak out the paranoid conspiracy theorists watching. If I ever make anything like that, I'll cram it full of so many symbols it'll be flagged by all manner of tin-foil hat society.

Anywho... Now that we've had one not-so-good Owl City video, here's an AWESOME one to make up for it.
BEHOLD: Owl City and Lindsey Stirling! My universes have collided, and it is a Beautiful Time!



It has such a great "Fireflies" vibe. I love this so much!

Next, Pentatonix. I want to call them amazing, but that word doesn't seem to be quite enough.



I love everything about this video. The singing/music, the lighting, the makeup and costumes, this video is halfway to perfection.

The song in this next video has quickly become one of my favorite songs. It is by the incomparable ShmoYoHo, aka the Gregory Brothers. I would suggest watching just the first three minutes of it though. After three minutes, the song is over, and it get's weird and awkward, and not it a funny way. And this is coming for someone who loved weird situations.



It could have been funny, but it was like... Not. I know you'll watch it anyway, because no one ever obeys warnings to not watch something, but at the very end you'll be like, "Why didn't I listen? I feel like I need to scrub the icky off myself with a baby wipe."

Rhett and Link recently came out with an awesome new song. I bought this for my iPod, and I have listened to it to death.



I have had, and sometimes still have, occasional OCD-like symptoms, so I felt most of this video. At least until it got ridiculous.

Here's another song from Kina Granis' new album.



This is my favorite song on the album. I love it.

Next is a song by a new band called The Madden Brothers. I had never heard of them, (Because they haven't even released one album yet) but they were featured on an episode of YouTube Nation, and I went to check them out. This is the only song on their channel so far, but I loved it, and if it is any indication of things to come, I'll be a big fan.



Once the choir came in I was done. Subscribed immediately.

Last, we have, for the first time in AGES, a new OK Go video. Bathe your eyes in the glory.



They have a new album coming out this fall, and I can't wait!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

True Facts! 16!

Well, I've decided that it's time my blog joined the twitter generation. My signature "True fact!" will now be replaced with a hashtag, as I've already started doing on social media. I haven't decided if I should hate myself for this yet.

 photo TrueFacts_zps430d290d.png


Did you know that popcorn was the result of a scientific experiment which cross-bred Corn with Dynamite.  Mrs. Corn was very unhappy with this arranged marriage. #TrueFact

Did you know that Teddy Bears are the only known invertebrate mammal? #TrueFact

Did you know that Cheeze Puffs are the dried cocoons of the majestic Evening Cheddar Moth? #TrueFact

Did you know that in some parts of the world, Avocados are known as Toad Apples? #TrueFact

Did you know that trees are actually Giant Broccoli? People always say broccoli are tiny trees, but those people are liars! #TrueFact

Did you know that Pie Filling and Jam are harvested from illegally slaughtered donuts? #TrueFact

Did you know that Cabbage Patch Dolls actually grew out of a pumpkin patch? The scandal has been kept under wraps for years by Hasbro, Mattel, and various other co-conspiring companies. #TrueFact

Did you know that paper towels evolved from toilet paper? #TrueFact

Did you know that kangaroos are the largest gliding mammal in Australia? They leap high into the air with their powerful hind legs and spread their wing flaps to glide on the air currents. #TrueFact

Did you know that lake monster legends, such as Nessie and Champ, are all based on misidentified sightings of snorkeling elephants? #TrueFact

Did you know that the giant, prehensile-tailed gorilla is both the world's largest ape, and the world's largest monkey? #TrueFact

Did you know that corn on the cob is the largest species of caterpillar in North America? #TrueFact

Did you know that the wolf spider is the only mammalian arachnid known to man? #TrueFact

Did you know that Rhesus Monkeys love Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? This is because they think that the candy was named after them. Rhesus Monkeys are not very good at spelling at all. #TrueFact

Did you know that the Slinky is the only living creature comprised entirely of metal? #TrueFact

Did you know that the term "Alien" came to be due to bad penmanship? The first alien to visit earth could only speak in musical notes, so he wrote his name on a piece of paper. His name was Allen. And he had horrible handwriting. #TrueFact

Did you know that tornadoes are giant mutant Tasmanian Devils? #TrueFact

Did you know that M&Ms were originally invented to be used as medicine? Chocolate is the ultimate health food! #TrueFact

Did you know that kiwi fruits are giant hairy grapes? #TrueFact

Did you know that in 1985, some moody teenagers adopted an orca as their spirit animal? They said that the creature was the only one that understood them. They called it the goth whale, and tried to pierce its nose. Well, whales don't have noses so that didn't work out too well. They're lucky the whale eventually spit them out. #TrueFact

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

500 Posts!

This post marks the 500th post on My Random World. I can't believe I've hit that high. I don't really have anything else to say, just wanted to acknowledge this blogging milestone. I don't want you to feel gypped out of a legitimate blog post though, so here's some music for you.

These were picked for their music, not for their videos, like I usually post. That being said, I did make sure to get the official music video for all these, as it's much more enteratining to watch a video, than to stare at the still image of an album cover, and most of these are definitely worth watching.











Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Pics From Last Semester

I realized today, that it was halfway through the month and I had not posted anything at all yet. It has been so long since I posted anything that I'm surprised no one has come to revoke my blogging license. Oh, that's not a thing? Good to know.

Anyway, I have a few pictures I need to post from last semester. Nothing too exciting, just the buildings I frequented most.


Hamilton Hall. This is where I had my Magazine Publication class.


Troxel Hall. This is where I had my History of Multimedia class.

I just realized that I neglected to photograph Lagomarcino Hall where I had my intro to Journalism class. Instead, here's a picture of Central Campus.


I also had a history of Modern Art class at the Design Building, but I have posted a picture of that in the past. I never took a new one.


Here's the old one.

Hamilton Hall is also where the Iowa State Daily offices are held, and where I took all my reporter training classes.


And as I became a reporter too, this is where I spent most of my time last semester.

And that's all I've got for now. I'll try to update a few more times this month, but I will be heading for Colorado with my cousins on Friday, so I doubt there will be much in that span of time.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Lettice Rowbotham

Lettice Rowbotham, (Yes, that IS that correct spelling), was a violinist on the most recent season (Series, for those in the UK) of Britain's Got Talent, and she blew everyone else away. I love the violin, but even I have to admit that it can sometimes get tired, so I love it when someone like Lettice comes along and brings something completely new to the performance.



I love her personality, her sense of humor, and everything about her, but I have to admit, the first time I watched her, I 100% expected a hilarious trainwreck when she started playing. I loved the interview, and loved her, but when she readily admitted that she hadn't even practiced, and she was too hungover to be nervous, I braced myself for the worst. I was thrilled to have my fears assuaged, and her previous admissions made her performance all the more impressive.

Her second performance was even better.



I loved that she used "Trust In Me" as part of her performance, and despite Simon's dislike of the second half, I loved it. I've grown to love dubstep if it's done right, and Lettice did dupstep right, not too heavy, and as part of the background, not the focus.

Lettice made it all the way to the finale and managed to literally drop my jaw.



I was amazed when she opened her mouth. I don't know that I've disagreed with Simon more when he said it didn't work. Thankfully the entire audience disagreed as well. Inwardly I cheered for their booing.

Sadly, Lettice didn't win, which is one of the single greatest tragedies of our time, but I have no doubt that she'll go places. I now follow her on both Twitter and YouTube, so I'll know the second she announces any new projects. I can't wait to see what she does next!

Monday, June 9, 2014

A Twist Ending! 11!

Well, it figures that as soon as I get back into Harlan I'd have another customer inspire another twist ending story. This customer is actually a regular here in Harlan. In fact, the first two parts of the story actually happened quite awhile ago. The last part just happened this week. She has actually done this kind of thing a lot more than three times. I just pieced together three stories from various encounters with her, to make a more concise story.

As with most other twist ending stories, everything is true except for the last paragraph, but in this case, it's all true except for the last paragraph of each section.

~

"Woah, wait a second," the woman said as I scanned her groceries. "That toilet paper is supposed to to be $3.29, and it rang up $4.99. You know what that means," she said, barely able to hold in her glee. "If the item rings up wrong, it is automatically free," she pointed to the sign hanging above the store.

I called my manager, who first went to make sure the price was wrong. "I'm sorry," she said walking back from the display holding a smaller sized package. "This is the size that's on sale. The other one is larger. Would you like to buy this one instead?"

"No," the woman said, frowning. "I don't want either of them. The sign back there was misleading. I should get it for free." She begrudgingly paid for her groceries and left, silently mumbling to herself.

As she fumed out of the store, a small green creature peered out from behind the ATM with a scroll of parchment and a quill of ink. It checked a box and slunk back out of sight.

~

"Excuse me, those batteries are marked as $2.99 on the sign over there," the woman said as I slid the packages of batteries I had just scanned down the counter to be bagged. I looked at the moniter; the prices on each read $2.79.

"Well," I said with a smile, "Looks like you just got a good deal."

"Um, no, They rang up wrong," the woman said with a scowl, "I get them for free."

I looked at her to see if she was kidding. Surely no one was that ridiculously petty. She wasn't kidding. I called my manager who double-checked the price, got an earful from the woman, and gave her the batteries for free.

As the woman marched victoriously from the store, the little green creature watched her silently from under a bakery display table, and marked another box on his paper.

~

"Hold on," the woman said as I scanned several packages of bologna. "These are ringing up $1.69. The sign says that they are 3 for $5. I've done the math, they should each be ringing up $1.67. Ask your manager to go check, these are wrong."

Once again my manager dutifully went back to check the price. While she was gone the woman started talking to those around her who were being inconvinienced.

"Sorry about this, I'm such a pain," she said in a voice that clearly indicated that she wasn't sorry at all. "I've just got to be careful you know. Gotta always watch these prices! You never know when they're gonna get you!"

My manager returned and said that, yes, the bologna should indeed be two cents cheaper. "Well, I guess that means they're free!" The woman said triumphantly, as though she had just won some kind of reality game show. My manager took the cost of the bologna off her order, and left her to pay.

From his hiding spot around the corner of the pharmacy, the little green creature ticked one last box off his list, and as the woman left the store with her load of bologna, it crept after her, sneaking into her car through a rear window while she loaded her trunk.

As the woman drove home in the dark, she had the creepiest feeling she was being watched from the back seat. She looked into the rear-view-mirror, and saw the glowing yellow eyes of a Greed Goblin staring back at her. She screamed and began swerving violently as the goblin leapt into the front seat. After a minute the swerving vehicle corrected itself, and kept on driving down the dark highway as normal. The woman was never seen again.

Friday, June 6, 2014

True Facts! 15!

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Did you know that when people braid their hair it begins to function like a tail? When they are happy it will wag vigorously, and when they are sad it will hang limp. When they are confused, it will twitch oddly, and when they are annoyed, the tip of the braid will quietly flick from side to side. When they sense danger, it will point straight up it the air, and if they have to flee for their life, it will stick straight out behind them, to help maintain their balance as they run. True fact!

Did you know that marshmallows are bald Peeps? True fact!

Did you know that cows are just ugly horses? True fact!

Did you know that new galaxies are only formed on the Fourth of July? They are caused by irresponsible handling of fireworks. If a firework is sent too high into the sky, it eventually leaves the atmosphere altogether and explodes in space, forming a brand new galaxy. True fact!

Did you know that Gatorade is made of melted Popsicles? True fact!

Did you know that dubstep music happened completely by accident? A dancing robot had an athsma attack on stage, and the audience thought it was singing and demanded an album. True fact!

Did you know that Elmo and Grover are actually the same Muppet? Whenever Elmo gets cold he turns blue, his nose swells up, becoming enormous and pink, and his voice gets all gravelly. True fact!

Did you know that Donuts are obese Cheerios? True fact!

Did you know that corn husks are a corn cob's clothing? The next time you think about husking an ear of corn, just think about how embarrassing that is for them. True fact!

Did you know that Medusa did not really have snakes for hair? She didn't turn people to stone either. She just had a really ugly hat and if anyone made fun it, she dunked them in cement. True fact!

Did you know that toes were originally named foot fingers? True fact!

Did you know that Grass Skirts were invented as an alternative to the rather uncomfortable Poison Ivy Pants? True fact!

Did you know that Orange Juice was once called Blue Juice? They decided to change the name because it made no sense. True fact!

Did you know that dragons were actually just dinosaurs with heartburn and really bad breath? True fact!

Did you know that clowns are invertebrates? How else do you think they cram that many into one tiny car? True fact!

Did you know that kangaroo rats are not really midget kangaroos? They're actually just mice on pogo sticks. True fact!

Did you know that zippers are made by evil practitioners of black magic? No one else has any idea how those things work. True fact!

Did you know that pineapples are the most vicious, volatile, and violent vegetable? True fact!

Did you know that the Howling Horror-Beast of Halifax is humorously harmless? True fact!

Did you know that exorcisms are an easy Do-It-Yourself project? Since ghosts are comprised mainly of water vapor and an old bedsheet with two holes cut in it, all you have to do is pull the bedsheet off, and the rest of the ghost will float away into the sky. There it becomes a cloud and begins to precipitate, causing Dianthus flowers to grow. This process is known as Rein-Carnation. True fact!

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Lindsey Stirling: 1st Concert!

Tonight I went to my very first REAL concert ever! Lindsey Stirling was amazing! I didn't get to meet her, but I did get to meet Dia Frampton, and I got a picture with her. My computer is on the fritz at the moment, so until I can get the pictures off my camera, I decided to just write down some random thoughts I had during the concert. I'll post pictures as soon as I can.

Everything at the concert was so loud, you could litterally feel the music. These are a few of the thoughts that went through my head as I sat there.

This is Amazing.

My pants are vibrating.

Awesome!

I can feel this in my sinuses!

I think I'm in love. (With Dia Frampton) (But also Lindsey. :p)

I have the BEST headache!

This. Is. AWESOME!

I think I just went deaf. So worth it.

Friday, May 30, 2014

True Facts! 14!

As I've mentioned before, last semester I took a social media class in which I was required to maintain a twitter account for the duration of the class. I decided that the theme of the account would be "True Facts!" and I steadily created new facts for the whole semester.

I really enjoyed coming up with new material, so I decided that I would not stop after the class was over. Instead, I moved the true facts to my personal twitter account, and I am going to be posting there as consistently as possible.

If you'd like to read all the facts as I post them, you'll find the twitter account HERE. If you don't have a twitter account, I will be posting the same facts to my blog's Facebook page, and you can find that HERE.

Today's post will be a mix of facts from my school twitter account, as well as some never before published ones.

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Did you know that George Washington owned the largest cheese farm in Virginia? True Fact!

Did you know that corn is the only vegetable that is also a fruit? True fact!

Did you know that the alphabet was invented by mimes? They had to do something, no one understood their hand gestures. True fact!

Did you know that Teddy Grahams are dehydrated grizzly larvae? True fact!

Did you know that zebras think horses have absolutely zero fashion sense? Horses think the same thing about zebras. True fact!

Did you know that cows invented milkshakes? A herd found an abandoned trampoline and the rest is history. True fact!

Did you know that pickles are the most dangerous breed of cucumber? True fact!

Did you know that Band-Aids are the world's worst flavor of Fruit Roll Ups? True fact!

Did you know that elephants are masters of rhythmic gymnastics? Specifically the ribbon dance, using their trunks. True fact!

Did you know that kiwi fruits are actually the eggs of the kiwi bird? True fact!

Did you know that Pope Paul VI won the first Pope-mobile on The Price is Right? True fact!

Did you know that Glitter Zombies are the most fabulous breed of undead creature in the entire world? True fact!

Did you know that apples are wild, arboreal tomatoes? True fact!

Did you know that fossilized dinosaur bones are actually the skeletons of giant, prehistoric, carnivorous parrots? True fact!

Did you know that llamas are midget wooly giraffes? True fact!

Did you know that the Wooly Neck Constrictor catches its prey by disguising itself as a scarf? True fact!

Did you know that the popular fashion trend of wearing burnt earmuffs year round was started by a violent space princess? True fact!

Did you know that the reason Tigger can bounce on his tail is because he swallowed a pogo stick? True fact!

Did you know that linoleum is fossilized carpet? True fact!

Did you know that pizza was the world's first form of edible abstract art? Hand-tossed is considered both abstract expressionist, AND performance art. True fact!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Life Update: ISU Year 1 done!

I decided to do a brief life update since I haven't done one in awhile. I haven't done much of anything on this blog in awhile. My computer actually is having problems at the moment, and I generally don't like using my iPad to blog. But since that's all I've got at the moment it will have to do. I bought a keyboard for it, so writing on it is not that bad anymore. I'm waiting for some stuff to fix my computer to be shipped to me. Hopefully that will take care of it. If not, I'll have to take it somewhere to be fixed.

In case you didn't know, I am now done with my first year at Iowa State. I am loving it so far. I got pretty good grades all around. One not-so-good grade, but also one very good one, so it kind of evens itself out. I took (a few) pictures and I plan to share them as soon as my computer is working properly again. Next semester I'll be taking a few more journalism classes, as well as introductory Spanish, and Photography. I'm hoping the photography class will start teaching me more about all the hundreds of settings on my camera that I have no idea what they do.

I also quit my job at the Ames Hy-Vee. I was getting barely any hours all semester. A couple of weeks I only got three hours. For the whole week. Which is not enough for anything. So I decided to cut my losses before going home for the summer and look elsewhere next semester. Right now I'm looking into getting a job at the campus bookstore. I've always loved the idea of working in a bookstore or library, so I hope it works out!

Tomorrow I turn into a saggy pile of wrinkles and begin using a walker, drinking prune juice, and going to bed at 7:30. I mean, it's my birthday. I turn 28. Get off my lawn kids.

In related, happier news, my uncle is taking me to a Lindsey Stirling concert for my birthday on Saturday! I can't wait! It will be my first ever "Real" concert, not just a classical performance at the local high school, or at college. I will be bringing my good camera and praying it makes it through security. I want good pictures!

Well, that's about it for now. I'm still working at the Harlan Hy-Vee. I'm getting way more hours than I was in Ames. Later this summer my cousins and I are tentatively planning a trip to somewhere. We're still ironing out the details, but there will be pictures. I've been going to a bunch of movies, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Godzilla, X-Men: Days of Future Past, but I haven't written any reviews. Maybe I'll do that later on. There's still a few coming up. I'll be seeing Maleficent tomorrow with my cousins for my birthday. It looks amazing. I love new twists on old stories.

Okay, that's enough rambling. Look for another True Facts post tomorrow!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Music Mix

I was getting tired of the old "Video Blitz" title. I'm not even sure why I chose that word anyway. Blitz. It means attack. Was I attacking you with videos? Sometimes I wonder about me...

Anyway, I'm changing it. I'll have to think of something else if I want to share videos besides music, but since that's almost everything I share, I figured this would do for now.

First up, Peter Hollens and his wife Evynne, just released a Phantom of the Opera Medley, and it is SO good.



I have loved the music of the Phantom of the Opera since I first saw it, and this is one of the best covers I've ever heard.

Next we have Lindsey Stirling. She just released a new album, and this is the title song. It's her first foray into lyrical songwriting, and it is a great start! Plus, Lzzy Hale's voice is amazing! And no, Lzzy is not a misspelling. I looked it up to make sure.



The other day she also released an orchestral version of the song. It's just as amazing as the original.



I hope that someday she'll do a whole album of orchestral versions. I love all her dubstep and dance stuff, but these orchestral versions are awesome as well.

Next up is Dear River, from Kina Grannis's new album.



It is kind of strange, with an odd ending, like, what, did they get turned into children? Whatever. I like oddness, and the song is great. :)

Speaking of odd, here is my latest find, World Order, a male J-Pop group.



It's Japan, so weird is almost a given. I love it. I have all their albums. This song isn't on any of them though, which is a shame, because it's one of my favorites. BTW, the girl group they go see is another J-Pop group, AKB48, in case anyone cares. :)

Next is Ariana Grande's latest single, "Problem."



I am usually not all that into "Mainstream Music," but there is something about Ariana's voice that is just hypnotizing. I can't wait for her next album.

I'll end with another of Peter Hollens' videos. It's a year old, but I just found it, and I can't believe I'd never seen it before. I love it!

Saturday, May 3, 2014

True Facts! 13!

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Did you know that elephants are not really scared of mice? They just hate the smell of cheese, and mice have HORRIBLE cheese breath. True fact.

Did you know that the popular video game, Angry Birds, used to be called Happy Birds? The birds decided they needed to be a little more edgy, but "Angry" was as far as the Official US Board of Overprotective Mothers Against Violent Video Games would let them go. They weren't even allowed to use weapons! True fact!

Did you know that the original name for the watermelon was the elephant grape? True fact!

Did you know that baldness is a myth? No one's hair ever falls out. As certain people age their hair slowly becomes invisible. True fact!

Did you know that milk is made by mixing bleached cranberry juice and mashed potatoes? True fact!

Did you know that bananas are a tree's fingers? If you get too close, they'll grab you, and try to peel your fingers as retribution for centuries of abuse from the human race. True fact!

Did you know that in some parts of the world, nose beards are referred to as mustaches? True fact!

Did you know that shampoo is America's least popular flavor of gravy? True fact!

Did you know that lemmings do not commit suicide by jumping off cliffs? The only reason a lemming ever had to jump off a cliff was to go hang gliding. True fact!

Did you know that shoes are disabled roller skates? True fact!

Did you know that walruses are vampire manatees? True fact!

Did you know that the Skunk Glider can soar through the air for up to a mile? That's about four times as far as it can spray its stink juice. True fact!

Did you know that crawdads are hillbilly lobster elves? True fact!

Did you know that scorpions are poisonous lobster elves? True fact!

Did you know that caterpillars are not baby butterflies? That whole "Metamorphosis" thing is just a myth. What kind of a moron would fall for a crazy story like that? Caterpillars are actually baby snakes that have yet to shed their winter coats and legs. True fact!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Video Blitz: Safe and Sound

I thought about putting one of these in the last compilation, but I decided to wait and just do one post with all four videos. This is Capital Cities' Safe and Sound, covered by Kurt Hugo Schneider, Kina Grannis, MAX, and Zendaya. I was thrilled to see Zendaya collaborating with well known YouTubers. It just goes to show that the lines between traditional artists and YouTubers are blurring.

At first glance it appears that this is the same video four times, but there are slight variations in camerawork, choreography and arrangements. I've listed to them all over and over, and I can't decide which one I like best.

Each artist released their own version on their own channel.

First up is Kurt's. Though he barely sings at all in his version.



Then Kina's.



Then Zendaya's.



And finally MAX's.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Video Blitz 6

First up, Lindsey Sirling has a new album coming out, and this is the first single!



It's amazing! I can't wait for the whole album!

Next up, in case you're not totally sick of Frozen covers, this is an amazing version of Let it go, by Alex Boye.



I had avoided posting covers from this movie on my blog, since there were just SO many, but this one was too good not to share. It's a completely original take, rather than a straight cover like most of the rest.

Next, we have Karmin, one of my relatively new favorite groups, covering their own song, Acapella, with Mike Tomkins, and actually doing it in acapella.



I may like this version better than the original. I wish I could buy this one!

Next up, is another travel video from Devin Graham, featuring Dubai.



This place looks amazing. Dubai definitely went on my bucket list after I saw this video.

Last but not least, here is a Peter Hollens video, this time a collaboration with Kina Grannis.



As a bonus, I'm including an old Kina Grannis video that is so amazing, it deserves to be seen again.


A Twist Ending! 10!

Well, here's the story I teased two months ago. I finally got around to writing it. As usual the first half is true, and the second half is what I wish were true.

~

"I have 8 orders here," the man said unpleasantly, rolling up to my register with a cart load of canned goods. "There's a 12 can limit, right?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Well, I'll pay for them all separately then," he said picking up some of the cans. He glared at the conveyer belt. "That thing is filthy," He said. "I don't want any of my groceries to touch it." He began handing me the cans, one by one.

I tried to act as though he wasn't completely insane, and began ringing them up as he handed them to me, setting them on the counter for the courtesy, who was outside doing a drive up.

"You bag those as you ring them up," the man ordered. "Don't put anything on the counter."

"Ok," I said as pleasantly as possible, and began slowly going through his orders, bagging as I went. About halfway through, the courtesy returned and asked me to start sending down the groceries.

"You hand them to him!" the man ordered. Your counter is disgusting! I don't want any germs on my groceries! It's obvious you never clean anything here."

I gave the courtesy a look, and he rolled his eyes in response. We finished the orders and the man left, mumbling about how disgusting everything was. I told the story to my manager who told me that the man was a regular, and he did the same thing every time he was in.

A week later he was back. This time with a cartload of cheese, which, again, was supposed to be sold in limited quantities. Once again he had me ring him up multiple transactions, and once again he ranted and raved about how filthy the counters were and how none of his groceries had better touch them. I breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone at last.

That night, as the man lay sleeping inside a giant plastic bubble, a noise broke through his dreams.

"No!" He called out in his sleep, "Not the moist sponge!"

*THUMP! THUD! THUMP!*

"What?!" The man sat bolt upright in his bubble.

A tiny fairy, dressed in dirty rags, hovering with tattered bat wings, was banging on his bubble with a dirty toilet plunger.

"Stop touching my bubble!" the man yelled. "You're filthy!"

"My name is Grungetta," she replied. "I'm a dirt fairy, and I'm here to touch everything you own."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" the man cried, but it was too late.

Grungetta flitted around his house sprinkling glittery dirt clods everywhere, and touching all his food. The man tried to chase her, but he was stuck in his bubble and kept bumping into stuff, and bouncing off everything. At last his bubble rolled down the stairs, crashed into his ex-wife's knitting needle collection, and exploded. The man leapt to his feet, grabbed a flyswatter, and rushed at the fairy, intending to squish her.

Grungetta dodged the swatter and pulled out a silver whistle blowing a single shrill note. The door burst open, and an enormous herd of teacup piglets flooded into the house, trampling the man. The piglets, grunting adorably, ran all around the house, leaving muddy tracks everywhere, and just as soon as they had appeared, they were gone. Grungetta stuck her tongue out at the man, made a rude noise, and disappeared in a puff of dirt.

The man looked in horror at the filth that surrounded him, and ran screaming from his home. The last anyone saw of him, he was running fully clothed through the car wash for the eleventh time, gargling window cleaner, and scrubbing himself with a squeegee.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

True Facts! 12!

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Did you know that the fanny pack was invented by a kangaroo named Beverly Hopkins? True fact!

Did you know that squids are people too? True fact!

Did you know the muffin man? He did NOT live on Drury Lane. True fact!

Did you know that the Winged Scorpion is the second largest flying arachnid in the northern hemisphere? The largest is the Flying Tarantula. True fact!

Did you know that cruise ships are robotic whales? True fact!

Did you know that airplanes are robotic flying squirrels? True fact!

Did you know that military tanks are robotic elephants? True fact!

Did you know that helicopters are robotic sky fish? True fact!

Did you know that trains are robotic land eels? True fact!

Did you know that the world's lasagna supply is in crisis? The worlds only known lasagna mine recently collapsed in on itself, and pasta miners are scrambling to dig it back up. Until they do, the price of lasagna is expected to skyrocket. True fact!

Did you know that raisins are tiny prune fairies? True fact!

Did you know that meatballs are only found on the rare steakberry bush? True fact!

Did you know that carbonated soft drinks are made from the milk of the Giant Belching Bubble Bird? True fact!

Did you know that Tic Tacs are the eggs of one of the tiniest lizards in North America? Its name is the Mini Mint Monitor, and the flavor of the eggs depends on what the lizard has been eating. True fact!

Did you know that wooly mammoths are not extinct? After the ice age came to an end the mammoths got way too hot and decided to become nudists. Now everyone just calls them elephants. True fact!

Monday, April 7, 2014

Video Blitz 5

To start this post, tonight Adam Young released his latest Owl City track, and it's amazing. A. May. Zing.
This is just the audio, but I'm crossing my fingers for a music video. He hasn't released a music video since Shine Your Way, from the Croods, and that was just promotion for a movie. He hasn't released one for an original track since Shooting Star in October of 2012! It's been WAY too long!



To make this already amazing track even better, it features Lindsey Stirling! I had imagined what it would be like if they collaborated, but I never dreamed it would actually happen. He's almost a mainstream artist, she's a YouTuber, it's not often you see the two kinds of artists working together. But I guess the boundaries are blurring, and he also got his start on the internet, so I guess I shouldn't have discounted the possibility.

Speaking of Lindsey Stirling, She recently released an orchestral version of Transcendence, and it is amazing!



And the Landfill Harmonic make an appearance! I was so surprised to see them!

Next up is a Peter Hollens video, a collaboration with Mike Tompkins.



The video was meant to commemorate his wife's pregnancy. And speaking of his wife:

The last video I'll share today is Evynne Hollens' cover of Brave. I actually don't think I've heard the original of this song before, and I'm not sure I want to now. This one is just too good.



In case anyone is wondering, she had their baby a few days ago, and his name is Ashland James.

Edit: Never mind what I said above, about not wanting to hear the original. I looked it up. It is just as amazing, and I have to include the video. It's too good not to share.



I love the joy in uninhibited dancing. :)

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Dance Lesson Pics!

I suppose you're all wondering what happened after I fainted yesterday. Well Kristen showed up and did CPR again, but this time it was the non-AHA-approved kind! I'm gonna faint AGAIN just thinking about it! After her miraculous kiss of life, we had our lesson, and while we danced we took so many selfies together that my camera actually started smoking! Do you want to see them? DO YOU?! Well too bad, because APRIL FOOL!!!!!!!

In case you missed yesterday's post, and have no idea what the hex I'm even talkin' about, you can catch yourself up by clicking HERE.

And if you're new here, and didn't know it, I've been April Fooling on this blog since the beginning. You can find my wild tale about dropping out of school to become a homeless street mime in New York HERE, and my tale about moving to Paris to take up interpretative dance-slash-basket-weaving HERE.

See you next year! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha......

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

HUGE Announcment!!!

I'm sure you've all noticed I haven't been blogging much lately. Well that's because I have been very busy. Ever since I got back to Ames in January I have been spending every second of my spare time practicing for a top secret audition that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone about. But now that it's happened I can finally tell you all!

This weekend I auditioned for the next season of Dancing With the Stars, and I got in! This summer I will be flying to New York to compete for a chance to star in an episode of the new dance themed spin-off of the hit musical show, Glee! If I win, I will be playing a character named, Juan Carlo Rodríguez, a pathetic nerdy loser who joins the high school dance club, becomes wildly popular, saves the head cheerleader from the evil quarterback, Marty McStabbington by soundly defeating him in a dance battle, and is tragically murdered by McStabbington's goons, the brainless Butcherson Brothers. It's a role I was born to play.

Now I'm sure you're all wondering, "Jonathan, you're going to be on Dancing with the STARS! So who is your partner?" Well, that's the best part! The celebrity I have been paired with is Kristen Chenoweth! I was so shocked when she showed up that I literally started screaming. And not manly screaming either. High-pitched, long, drawn-out, girly screaming, followed by short, rapid screams, leading to hyperventilation. And then I fainted. Right in front of her. I woke up when she started performing CPR on me. Sadly it was not the mouth-to-mouth kind, the American Heart Association did away with that ages ago. Spoil-sports. Still, not many people can say that Kristen Chenoweth almost broke their sternum!

Oh my word! I've got to go. Kristen just called, and she's coming over to teach me how to Salsa! I think I'm freaking out! I'm freaking out! The room is starting to spin! Everything is going dark! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!

>Clunk<

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Chicago: Day 6 - The Shedd Aquarium

Well, it certainly took me long enough. I can't believe it's almost the end of March and I'm just now posting the last of my Chicago pictures. From AUGUST. ANYway...

The last day in Chicago we spent at the Shedd Aquarium. It was probably my least favorite day. Which is sad, because it was also the place I was looking forward to visiting the most. Don't get me wrong, the aquarium was awesome, it's just that there were SO many people!

THIS is what we had to deal with when we got there.


This is at the back of the line, and we weren't there very long before people started lining up behind us. Eventually someone came along and told us we could skip the long line, and get in the short line since we had City Passes, but that proved to be of little consolation as we were moved from one place to another, and didn't actually get into the aquarium for, I'm not even sure. I'm going to guess it was a good hour. And that doesn't include Uncle Bill, who had come with us for the day. He had to wait in the long line, as he didn't have a City Pass. I don't even know how long he had to wait. We didn't see him for most of the day.


Once we got in and away from the crowds though, we had a great time. By far the highlight of my day was seeing the Beluga Whales, up close from down below, and later performing in the show! More on that later. I only wish I could have gotten a better picture. This one has been heavily Photoshopped to look this good, the lighting was pretty bad for photography. The whales were such hams. You could tell they loved clowning around for the visitors. They swam all around the tank, swimming in circles, back and forth, and upside down, only stopping when they were called to the surface to perform in the show.


Aside from the whales and dolphins, my favorite exhibit was the jellyfish. There were so many more kinds than I have ever seen, and some were just bizzare!







The best part of the day was the dolphin and whale show. We had to wait a long time for it to start but it was worth it.



This picture made me regret not bringing my good camera. I love it, but I hate that it's so blurry!


And that's about the extent of my pictures. I didn't take nearly as many that day as I did on the others.

If you're interested in seeing some more pictures from my trip, I made up a blog post of some of my best photos on my photography blog. You can find that post HERE.

We had so much fun in Chicago last year, that we have definitely decided we're going back. There are so many places we wanted to see, but didn't get to. It's not a question of if, just when. School makes it kind of hard to plan anything right now, but we will go back eventually!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

True Facts! About War!

Don't ask what's wrong with me. I don't even know.

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Did you know that World War Two was fought exclusively through dance battles? True fact!

Did you know that the Vietnam War was actually just a thumb war? True fact!

Did you know that the French and Indian War was fought by beating each other over the heads with croquet mallets? The Indians won because the French kept trying to actually PLAY croquet. True fact!

Did you know that the Napoleonic Wars were actually just a series of intense slap fights? True fact!

Did you know that the winner of the American Civil War was decided through a belching contest? Historians still debate whether or not they should have changed the name of the war after that. True fact!

Did you know that the first war ever fought started as a game of Rock, Scissors, Paper? Unfortunately it was a draw since neither paper nor scissors had been invented back then, so they started chucking rocks at each other. True fact!

Did you know that the Cold War started out as an innocent pie eating contest? Toward the end, Russia accused the US of cheating and the pies started flying fast and furious. Once they had run out of pies they decided to get cleaned up by spraying each other with garden hoses. Since this was during the fall, several people with rather weak immune systems came down with colds, and thus the war was named. True fact!

Did you know that the Korean War was just a hot dog eating contest? The media blew that thing WAY out of proportion. True fact!

Did you know that the Crusades were not the only holy war? About 500 years ago the Buddhists and the Quakers had a nasty spat over who had the most peaceful religion. They gave each other the silent treatment for like a month. It got pretty intense. True fact!

Did you know that Canada has never once fought in any wars? They settle all their disagreements through hockey. True fact!

Saturday, March 22, 2014

If I Were a Troll... The 6th and Final

Well, I think this is the end. I just ended my "U Spel bad" series, and today's "If I were a Troll" will also be the last. I haven't added anything to either of these posts in over two months, and I've kind of gotten bored with them. Sometime in the future I might bring them back, but for now, this will be the last "If I Were a Troll" post.



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like how lisen that every day

Like how stupid you every day.


u should eat heathy

Is Heathy a nickname for someone? If so, you're sick.


*COUGH*COUGH*negative side effects of marajana, people........

Is one of the side effects bad spelling and sentence structure?


just child steped up to you and had a Tshort with Jessie how's it?;)

I'm sorry, what?


Maybe you should to follow back to don't have lost followers?

It's like it's trying to communicate, I just know it!


Foooping awesome chester ! this all song is so good in music and lyrics aspects ´)

I hope you're old enough to be drinking like that...


one more time and it sgonan be the yellow blob i swear im gonna

Yeah, you just do that... Whatever that is...


2 pranker awesome love it oh and I was lafing the hole time

I'd be ashamed for you, but I rather doubt you'd even understand why.


this must be the most stupid argue i've ever been a part of.

Yup, it's the most stupid argue I've ever seen!


Just a pope dream right now.

Really? What does he dream about? Wearing the Papal Tiara every day? Many smooches from hot nuns? Tricking out the Pope-mobile with spinning rims, flame-shooting tail pipes, and a giant spoiler?


And with that, we come to the end of an era. And it's a pretty good way to go out. I was pretty proud of that pope one. :) I'll have a special new "True facts!" for you tomorrow!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

U Spel bad 16: teh emd

Well, I think this is the end. I have decided to end my "U Spel bad" and "If I were a Troll" series'. I haven't added anything to either of my drafts in over two months, and I've kind of gotten bored with them. Sometime in the future I might bring them back, if I find something so hideously mangled that it demands to be publicly ridiculed, but for now, this post will be the last of the "U Spel bad" series. The final "If I were a Troll" post will be up tomorrow.



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Aledgelly

Your teacher was ALLEGEDLY fired for being an awful teacher.


Earitating

I'd find your ignorance IRRITATING, but really I just find it sad.


twietie

Given that TWEETY is my favorite Loony Tunes character, it is incredibly difficult to keep myself from doing you an injury.


Organs

This is the most disturbing misspelling of ORIGINS that I've ever seen.


Tootaly

I'm not even gonna touch this one.


Cud

Is this a new abbreviation? Because it's completely stupid. (COULD)


Biginning

I think your dementia is BEGINNING to set in


Magicle

The only thing MAGICAL about you is that you can function well enough to even use a computer.


Egzist

Wow. I'm actually speechless. (EXIST)


Dido

Just say, "Likewise," "You too," or, "I agree." Right now you're just casually name-dropping an internationally famous British singer-songwriter. (DITTO)

Saturday, March 1, 2014

True Facts! 11!

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Did you know that if an octopus eats a balloon it will float up into the sky and start tentacle-ing the birds? True fact!

Did you know that matches are just angry toothpicks? True fact!

Did you know that rocks are kind of delicious? Pine cones taste better though. True fact!

Did you know that the "Drink Me" bottle and the "Eat Me" cakes in Alice In Wonderland were the first recorded instances of food items developing sentience? Too bad the poor things were suicidal. They had so much to live for! Probably... True fact!

Did you know that the name "Rainforest" is a misnomer? The forest is not made of rain at all. Its actually made of snow and hail with just a hint of smog thrown in for flavor. True fact!

Did you know that butterflies are named after their favorite food? Ancient Chinese scientists noticed that the "Flying Flowers" were attracted to the bowls of buttered flies they had made for lunch, so they named them after the dish. Ancient Chinese scientists were really awful cooks. True fact!

Did you know that cows have a similar life cycle to that of frogs? In their larval, or tadpole, stage they live in the water and are known as manatees. True fact!

Did you know that vanilla cream sandwich cookies were an accidental invention? Someone left a handful of Oreos in the pocket of their white dinner jacket when they sent it to the cleaners to be bleached. They liked the results so much they decided to sell them as an entirely new flavor. True fact!

Did you know that the first mop was invented when a man saw a really skinny fashion model with super long hair? He thought to himself, "I bet if I flipped her upside down, and dipped her hair in soap, I could clean up all this grape juice I just spilled!" True fact!

Did you know that spaghetti seeds are actually just rice? True fact!

Did you know that Cracklin' Oat Bran cereal is actually mutant Froot Loops? True fact!

Did you know that McDonald's insanely popular sandwich, the McRib, is actually made of... Never mind. You probably don't want to know. True fact!

Did you know that neckties used to be a form of corporal punishment? Originally designed as a non-lethal alternative to the hangman's noose, some imaginative criminals decided to make the best of a bad situation and color them in a variety of bright colors and patterns. One day a particularly strange bank robber designed a paisley pattern for his necktie, and for some reason it became a wild new fashion statement Suddenly everyone was wearing neck ties, regardless of whether or not they'd actually done something wrong. True fact!

Did you know that energy drinks are made from an unknown liquid found underneath nuclear silos? True fact!

Did you know that 45 minutes is the equivalent of one year to a screwdriver-head shark? True fact!

Did you know that the original name for Coca Cola was Cocoa Koala? The original recipe used chocolate and live koalas until PETA stuck their noses in and threatened to have them shut down. True fact!

Did you know that I want twelve? I want twelve of them! True fact!

Did you know that clowns hunt and eat pinatas? True fact!

Did you know that Maple leaves are the official salad of Canada? True fact! Eh?

Did you know that stealing a leprechaun's gold usually spells its demise? Hiding the gold at the end of the rainbow is what keeps a leprechaun alive. If you take its gold, it immediately begins to calcify. If it does not find a new source of gold quickly, it will completely harden into a terrifying lawn gnome. True fact!

Monday, February 17, 2014

True Presidential Facts!

I started this post almost a year ago. For some reason I just started thinking up "True facts!" about the presidents one day, and before long I had almost enough for a post. Later I sat down, rounded them out to twenty, and decided to save them to use for Presidents' Day. Today.

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Did you know that Andrew Jackson liked to wear ladies' hats? He wasn't a cross-dresser, he just really liked ladies' hats. True fact!

Did you know that Grover Cleavland was into furry cosplay? His favorite character was one he created himself, a blue monkey named Steak Sauce. This costume would later be used as the inspiration for the Sesame Street Muppet, Grover. True fact!

Did you know that Abraham Lincoln holds the highest Pac-Man score in history? True fact!

Did you know that Franklin D. Roosevelt became obsessed with Dimes after his face was put on them? He was once heard to tell a friend "These tiny frisbees with my face on them are delightfully enchanting!" Then he would throw them and lose them. It was thought that he had some kind of a problem. True fact!

Did you know that Thomas Jefferson used to throw Disco Raves at his plantation? This was well before Disco, OR Raves. He was quite the trend-setter. True fact!

Did you know that under John F. Kennedy, being a clown was illegal? Kennedy was extremely Coulrophobic, and decided to legislate accordingly. Under the Kennedy regime, clowns faced severe penalties, including up to 6 months in prison, if they were caught in public with their makeup on. The suffering was not limited to just clowns, however. Due to the cross-race effect, mimes were frequently mistaken for clowns, and faced similar persecution. True fact!

Did you know that President Obama was not actually born in Hawaii? He was actually born in Connecticut, but that's such a boring state, that he went to great lengths to pretend to be more exotic. True fact!

Did you know that at one time, congress entertained the notion of choosing a president with a Miss America pageant? The idea was nixed after John Adams pointed out that all the men would look horrible in dresses. True fact!

Did you know that Hillary Clinton was actually the first female president? History says it was Bill, but we all know who was really running the show. True fact!

Did you know that George W. Bush is a clone of Bush Sr.? He was upset about not getting a second term, so he cloned himself so he could go twice. True fact!

Did you know that William Howard Taft tried to duplicate Teddy Roosevelt's success with the Teddy Bear by saving an animal of his own? Sadly, the Willy Walrus never caught on. True fact!

Did you know that Richard Nixon used to bathe in yellow Gatorade? Pat didn't know anything about this odd quirk of his, until one day she accidentally walked in on him and was absolutely horrified. True fact!

Did you know that Obama has his own flock of flying monkeys? He got the from George W. Bush as a "Thanks For Getting Me Out of This Heinous Job" gift. True fact!

Did you know that Ronald Reagan could heal the sick and walk on water? This is why Republicans worship him. True fact!

Did you know that Abraham Lincoln wore his top hat to hide his pet beaver? Its name was Priscilla Chrysanthemum. True fact!

Did you know that when Jimmy Carter retired, he took a part time job as that rat thing at Chuck E. Cheese? True fact!

Did you know that George Washington was an alien from Saturn's 10th moon? That powdered wig he always wore was to hide the tentacles on his head. True fact!

Did you know that Sarah Palin wanted to be Queen of America? That wasn't allowed, so she tried for the next best thing. It was decided that she and John McCain would arm wrestle to see who would be at the top of the ticket. Though she lost, it is widely speculated that John McCain somehow cheated. True fact!

Did you know that Lyndon B. Johnson's favorite Pop-Tart flavor was S'Mores? Lady Bird thought that they were absolutely disgusting. Her preferred breakfast item was an Egg McMuffin. True fact!

Did you know that Millard Fillmore and his wife Jane single-handedly stopped an alien invasion? They saw the spaceships land and started throwing rotten grapes at them. The aliens weren't very big, and they were not exactly a strong or advanced race. They were soundly defeated. True fact!