Monday, October 31, 2016

MORE EVEN MORE Amazing Trick-or-Treat Ideas

It's the post you almost didn't get, and probably wish you wouldn't have! Seriously. I almost forgot to write this. I planned on making this a yearly thing, and I have done it for the last three years, working on it for weeks and/or months before Halloween, and then this year I completely forgot! But, as luck would have it, or bad luck, depending on who you ask, one of the previous years' posts cam up in my Time Hop app yesterday, reminding me that I needed to write this! So I got to work on it as soon as I got home from work last night, and wrote it all up in just over an hour! So it's probably terrible! But at least I got it done! The tradition is unbroken!

If you're interested, the previous years' posts can be found at these links:
2013 - 2014 - 2015

On to the post!

Are you sick of trying to figure out what to hand out to all those irritating little humans that come around begging for things every single October 31st? It's SO annoying! Both the kids, and having to figure out what to buy them. But don't worry, I got u, fam. Whoops, sorry, slipped into some annoying teen lingo there. I've been on the internet too long. I mean, I've got you covered. Just follow any of these ten excellent ideas, and you'll be all set for another year of trick-or-treaters.

And as always, don't try any of these yourself, unless you like traumatizing children, receiving multiple lawsuits from angry parents, and visits from the police.


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Cereal - When you open the door, make sure you are in your robe and pajamas, no matter what time of day it is. Sleepily look at the child as they say the traditional, "Trick-or treat!" greeting and then wearily reply, "Good morning sweetie. Did you want bran flakes or oatmeal this morning?" While the child is confused, dump some All Bran and milk into their treat bag, and slowly walk back inside, yawning and scratching your behind, forgetting to close the door.

A Flock of Live Chickens - If you're anything like me, you probably have an entire flock of chickens that you are absolutely sick to death of. It's such a common problem! Well have I got the solution for you! Just use halloween as an excuse to get rid of them! Hand every rotten little candy-beggar a chicken, and do not take it back, no matter how loud the kid screams as the chicken flaps and pecks them all over. If you'd like to traumatize as few children as possible, just choose one unlucky little kid to unleash the entire flock on! Open the door and just shove the clucking, cackling, flapping, squawking, pecking, mass out into the night! The kid will probably run away crying, and the chickens, sensing their fear, will follow like a flock of tiny little raptors, chasing after their prey. And that's it! You're chicken free!

A Slice of American Cheese - When you hear the doorbell ring, open the door as quickly as you can and splap one slice of unwrapped American cheese right in the kid's face and then slam the door.

Grandma's Dentures - This one only requires the cooperation of grandma, and her willingness to part with her false teeth. Just have her go to the door, and when the child says, "Trick-or-treat!" have her slowly remover her dentures and drop them in the child's bag, creepily making eye contact with them the entire time. When the child's mouth drops open in horror, have her say, "That's what CANDY does to ya, kid!" and then cackle evilly, walking backwards into the house, closing the door behind her.

A Fingernail Clipping - When the doorbell rings, answer the door dressed like a hillbilly's uncle. Clip one fingernail, drop it into the kid's bag, and then go back inside, never even saying a word.

A Broken Chainsaw - First you'll need to make sure the teeth have been removed from the chainsaw, you don't want angry parents coming after you with their lawyers again, not after that chicken incident. When a kid comes your door, a child who you feels most deserves a non-working chainsaw, then pull it out and yank the cord violently in their direction. When it doesn't work, stare at it disappointedly and say, "Oh well. I guess I don't need this one anymore." Then hand it to them as you close the door. Once back inside, begin screaming as loudly and shrilly as possible.

Negative Candies - For this one, you just remove candy from the kid's bag. Tell them you're teaching them about taxes or something.

A Popped Can of Biscuits - When you answer the door, pull out a can of biscuits, and bash it up against the side of the house until it pops, then plop several biscuit blobs into each child's bag. Look the kids straight in the eye and say, "Don't do drugs, kids." Then go back inside while they stare, open-mouthed.

An Orangutan Named Gerald McFingers - Admittedly this one is a stretch, but if you can find an orangutan named Gerald McFingers, give it to a kid on Halloween. You will make that kid's entire year.

Toilet Paper - For this one all you need to do is hand out the toilet paper instead of candy to trick-or-treaters, and wait for the inevitable backlash from the nasty little candy-crazed, greed-mutants. Just sit upstairs by an open window in the dark, and wait for them to start vandalizing your home. As soon as the first roll is tossed, just blast it with a full powered spray from your industrial strength flamethrower, disintegrating it immediately. For added effect, make sure you are blaring Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries at full volume on your 1997 Bose Acoustic Wave radio, and scream-laughing like the Joker hopped up on his own laughing gas. It will be a Halloween those kids will never forget.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

TIIA 23 (The Internet is Awesome)

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Let's start this post off right with another amazing song by Pentatonix. It's a medley of songs by Perfume, a Japanese pop group, and it's amazing.



Speaking of Pentatonix, you have got to see this video that Scott made for his and Mitch's personal channel, Superfruit. It is definitely not a Pentatonix song, but it's so good anyway.



Moving on to something completely different, the Gregory Brothers songified Cool Runnings, a movie from my family's childhoods that we watched many times.



As someone who grew up listening to classical music, and eventually discovered a cappella music, I absolutely loved this video by Jon Cozart.



Anyone who knows me probably knows how much I absolutely loved the show Gravity Falls. It has very sadly ended now, but this amazing cover of the theme song by The Warp Zone did help numb the pain a bit.



BYU's a capella group, Vocal Point doesn't seem to post on a regular basis, but whenever they do, you know it's going to be worth the wait.



VoicePlay + Panic at the Disco = I never knew I needed this!



As I seem to do all the time, lets end this post with another Peter Holens video. He recently released an entire album of music from and based on the The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. As amazing as every song on the album was, by far my favorite was this song with Hank Green.



Monday, October 24, 2016

Minnesota Adventure!

In August my cousins Shaina and Sasha and I went to Minnesota. We wanted to go to the Mall of America, and visit my cousin Kyle, who works at an awesome graphic design company. My cousin Mandi also lives near the twin cities so we stayed with her for almost a week.

The first day we were there we ended up babysitting while Mandi was stuck at the cell phone store getting her phone fixed. Which apparently didn't even happen and they kept her there for hours. We didn't go anywhere that day, but we ended up having a lot of fun anyway.


The girls took to Shaina right away. They were like instant best friends. :)


Trinity insisted I take a picture of her handiwork here for some reason. :p


And also herself.


She is a ham. :p




Here she told me that this was a mother carrying her baby in her mouth.
It did not look that way. :p


Sasha went to Walmart and came back with coloring books and craft supplies for the kids.
Trinity and Afton ended up coloring with Shaina and Sasha, while Tanner, Cody, and and I played video games on our DS's. I think we accidentally segregated ourselves. :p

On one of the days, not sure which, Mandi and I noticed that we accidentally wore matching shirts.
I didn't get a picture, but she posted on Instagram, so I borrowed that. :)


The next day we went to the Mall of America, where I finally broke down and bought what would become my first Funko Pop figure. The first of many. I bought a bunch more before the end of vacation. I should do a blog post about those one of these days.


I also took this picture to send to my cousin Sarah who wasn't with us. We both love Kid President, and I found this doll of him at the mall.


The next day we went to visit Kyle at Ultra Creative.


Shaina found their arcade machine from the 80's and was hooked.


Shaina has a huge thing for all things 80's. :)


Before we took the tour, we went out to eat at an awesome brick oven style pizza restaurant.


Trinity was more interested in playing with Shaina than eating her pizza. :p




Later that night, back at Ultra Creative, we all got the grand tour.


Kyle's brother, Trent came along too. :) Uncle Dick was there too, but I've been through my pictures like three times, and apparently I didn't get any pictures with him in them!


Ultra Creative has all kinds of awesome surprises. :)


Kyle showed us some things that his company has been working on.


And some stuff that he's done himself!



If you see any of these halloween monster cereals out there, just know that Kyle drew the box art!


There are so many cool rooms around Ultra Creative.


This room has soundproof padding, windows that turn opaque, and a TV hidden in the table!


These look like wood or something, but they're actually kind of a soft foam.





Ultra Creative has a huge library of creativity boosting books and magazines.


There are also scooters that you can use to quickly get around the entire office. I rode one, and I managed to do a full circle around the entire floor, but I don't have any pictures of it. Which is probably for the best. I was probably within inches of killing myself. I felt like I was anyway. :p

And that's all my pictures! We did other things on our trip, but a lot of it was just shopping and playing with the kids, so I didn't have my phone out to take pictures. I guess we were just having too much fun. We loved spending time with Mandi and the kids, and everyone loved hanging out together. Mandi and Shaina were instant kindred spirits, just like I knew they would be. (Seriously, I'd actually been saying they should be friends since I was a kid. :p) We all had so much fun that we're already thinking about going back. We'll see what happens next year! :)

Monday, October 3, 2016

TIIA 22 (The Internet is Awesome)

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Another photo-post is coming soon, but I'm still trying to catch up on videos, so here's another TIIA post. I'll have a real update soo, hopefully within the week.
Let's start this post out with another Evynne Hollens Disney song. :)



Depending on your tolerance for different covers of the same song, a lot of this post might get repetitive for you, so bear with me. If it helps, even though they're all exactly the same, they're also all completely different. :p

Dreamworks has a new movie coming out based on the old Trolls dolls from when I was a kid, but the movie has become completely overshadowed by the song that was released from the soundtrack earlier this summer. It's actually amazing, most likely more amazing than the movie itself will be, but I'll reserve judgement for now. Anyway, as with any song that receives massive mainstream hit status, it gets covered by YouTubers. Lots of YouTubers. :p

KHS and Co.



Home Free



Nick Pitera



And most uniquely, PMJ



And that's it. I'm sure there are a lot more, but these were the best. :)

Now let's completely change directions with this video that went viral awhile back, a strange German commercial starring cats. The internet truly is awesome.



Next is clip from the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, where he is interviewing the incomparable Carol Burnett. It is so good.



We'll end this post with another amazing song from Peter Hollens.