Monday, June 9, 2014

A Twist Ending! 11!

Well, it figures that as soon as I get back into Harlan I'd have another customer inspire another twist ending story. This customer is actually a regular here in Harlan. In fact, the first two parts of the story actually happened quite awhile ago. The last part just happened this week. She has actually done this kind of thing a lot more than three times. I just pieced together three stories from various encounters with her, to make a more concise story.

As with most other twist ending stories, everything is true except for the last paragraph, but in this case, it's all true except for the last paragraph of each section.


"Woah, wait a second," the woman said as I scanned her groceries. "That toilet paper is supposed to to be $3.29, and it rang up $4.99. You know what that means," she said, barely able to hold in her glee. "If the item rings up wrong, it is automatically free," she pointed to the sign hanging above the store.

I called my manager, who first went to make sure the price was wrong. "I'm sorry," she said walking back from the display holding a smaller sized package. "This is the size that's on sale. The other one is larger. Would you like to buy this one instead?"

"No," the woman said, frowning. "I don't want either of them. The sign back there was misleading. I should get it for free." She begrudgingly paid for her groceries and left, silently mumbling to herself.

As she fumed out of the store, a small green creature peered out from behind the ATM with a scroll of parchment and a quill of ink. It checked a box and slunk back out of sight.


"Excuse me, those batteries are marked as $2.99 on the sign over there," the woman said as I slid the packages of batteries I had just scanned down the counter to be bagged. I looked at the moniter; the prices on each read $2.79.

"Well," I said with a smile, "Looks like you just got a good deal."

"Um, no, They rang up wrong," the woman said with a scowl, "I get them for free."

I looked at her to see if she was kidding. Surely no one was that ridiculously petty. She wasn't kidding. I called my manager who double-checked the price, got an earful from the woman, and gave her the batteries for free.

As the woman marched victoriously from the store, the little green creature watched her silently from under a bakery display table, and marked another box on his paper.


"Hold on," the woman said as I scanned several packages of bologna. "These are ringing up $1.69. The sign says that they are 3 for $5. I've done the math, they should each be ringing up $1.67. Ask your manager to go check, these are wrong."

Once again my manager dutifully went back to check the price. While she was gone the woman started talking to those around her who were being inconvinienced.

"Sorry about this, I'm such a pain," she said in a voice that clearly indicated that she wasn't sorry at all. "I've just got to be careful you know. Gotta always watch these prices! You never know when they're gonna get you!"

My manager returned and said that, yes, the bologna should indeed be two cents cheaper. "Well, I guess that means they're free!" The woman said triumphantly, as though she had just won some kind of reality game show. My manager took the cost of the bologna off her order, and left her to pay.

From his hiding spot around the corner of the pharmacy, the little green creature ticked one last box off his list, and as the woman left the store with her load of bologna, it crept after her, sneaking into her car through a rear window while she loaded her trunk.

As the woman drove home in the dark, she had the creepiest feeling she was being watched from the back seat. She looked into the rear-view-mirror, and saw the glowing yellow eyes of a Greed Goblin staring back at her. She screamed and began swerving violently as the goblin leapt into the front seat. After a minute the swerving vehicle corrected itself, and kept on driving down the dark highway as normal. The woman was never seen again.

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