#TrueFacts 24

Did you know that the five second rule is not true? You can leave pickles, bologna, cheese, a wide variety of casseroles, and almost any other foods except baklava, on the floor for at least 2 minutes before any wild bacteria will even begin to muster up the courage to climb on board. #TrueFact

Did you know that the moon used to be a part of earth? It was a land mass located between Australia and Antarctica. The moon people were so annoying that the Australians and the Antarcticians got together to build a giant slingshot, scooped the whole continent out of the water, and launched it into space. The moon people are still mad about that, and are vengefully plotting against Australia. Their Antarctic revenge has already been enacted. #TrueFact

Did you know that dwarves are just children wearing fake beards? #TrueFact

Did you know that leprechauns are just dwarf dwarves? #TrueFact

Did you know that gnomes are just dwarf dwarf dwarves? #TrueFact

Did you know that fairies are just dwarf dwarf dwarf dwarves with wings? #TrueFact

Did you know that the ocean in and around the Bermuda triangle is ruled by an evil dolphin named Frank? He is responsible for all the mysterious phenomena that have happened there over the years. #TrueFact

Did you know that caviar was originally called fish grapes? #TrueFact

Did you know Bigfoot is just a man in a suit? The suit's Armani. It's real nice. #TrueFact

Did you know that Adam Sandler changed his last name before he became famous? His last name was originally Birkenstocker. His father also changed his last name before Adam was born, as his parents' surname had been Flip-Flopper. #TrueFact

I regretted writing that last, exquisitely, excruciatingly horrific pun, almost immediately after it had entered my brain, but it's too late now. It exists, and there is nothing I can do about it. I can only apologize and move on with my life. I am so, so sorry.