Tuesday, July 23, 2013

It's All the Smurf's Fault.

I'm so confused, and it's all the Smurf's fault.

I have always had something against the Smurfs. I don't know why, I just have. I can't explain it. They just looked kind of stupid. I know this is a dumb reason to dislike anything, but this is an irrational dislike. Reason does not apply.

But now... I'm so confused!!!! You know how easy it is to get lost in a YouTube wormhole right? You watch one video, which leads to another, which leads to another, and soon three days have gone by and you realize that your eyeballs have dried out? Well that happened to me the other day, and now I don't know how to feel about the Smurfs.

It started with Zendaya's new single. I literally had it on "Replay". (This has nothing to do with the Smurfs, I just love the song, and I wanted an excuse to post it here.)

While I was listening to the song, I saw a song by Britney Spears on the sidebar. I hadn't seen her for years. I thought she had gone crazy and run off to live under a bridge somewhere. The song was called Ooh La La, and it was from the Smurfs 2. I figured it was going to be a trainwreck, so don't ask me why I clicked it.

I was wrong. Wrong about everything. Apparently Britney Spears has cleaned herself up, had kids, and her song was... Fun? I had a strong urge to buy it, but I couldn't. I mean... Its the smurfs! Those stupid blue things! I know nothing about them. But I still hate them. I have problems. I know this.

Anyway, one thing led to another as so often happens on YouTube, and suddenly I found out that Owl City wrote a song for the Smurfs 2. Owl City!

How can I hate anything the Owl City contributed to? I can't! But how can I like the smurfs? I can't! They have such dumb looking, fat fingers, and their hats! Good grief, their hats are almost as dumb as those Touques with the fluffy ball on the top. (Touque is the Canadian word for stocking cap. My dad's Canadian.) These are legitimate reason for me to dislike them, and I cant give them up easily!

I started looking into the rest of the songs on the album. Why? Why did they have to be so catchy?

However, there is one GLARING exception. This. Just... This...

SRSLY, I think I'm going to puke my pants. (Homestar Runner Reference)

Now I have a huge moral crisis. Do I continue to hold onto an unfounded hatred for a cartoon that never gave me a good reason to dislike it, and therefore miss out on adding a song by my favorite artist to my collection, or do I overlook one heinously awful song, give up my irrational prejudice, and actually give the Smurfs a chance?

I think I might have to watch the movie. That way if it really is bad I can have a good reason for thinking so. I didn't figure that anything was going to change my mind, so I looked up the movie to read about it. Apparently both Neil Patrick Harris and Jayma Mays star in it. What? Why?

This gives me two MORE reasons to stop hating it! But it's just so hard! For some reason, the Smurfs have been stored in the part of my brain where Barney the purple dinosaur lives, and I'm having a serious problem getting them out.

I don't know. I think I'm probably going to have rethink my life.

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