Did you know that the pterodactyl was just a giant bat with its face stuck in a waffle cone? True fact!
Did you know that beets are rabid potatoes? True fact!
Did you know that the commuter train is the natural enemy of the London Double Decker Bus? The trains hunt just like a boa constrictor, wrapping itself around the bus, and squeezing the life out of it. True fact!
Did you know that the easiest way to make a bomb is to feed beans to a bowling ball and light its tail on fire? True fact!
Did you know that the skunk ape has the largest tail of any of the great apes? True fact!
Did you know that baby formula is actually a protein shake mix for baby body builders? True fact!
Did you know that elephant seals are actually just morbidly obese tapirs? They got so fat that they could no longer function comfortably on land, so they moved to the ocean. Now they spend all day scuba diving using their little trunks as snorkels. True fact!
Did you know that pizzas are the most delicious species of Frisbee on the planet? True fact!
Did you know that there is an evil version of the candy Mr. Goodbar? It's called the Mr. Badbar. True fact!
Did you know that flowers used to be the dominant sentient species on the planet? Once the TV was invented they started watching it so much that over time they took root, and literally "Vegged out." True fact!
Did you know that Santa Claus eats cauliflower ice cream? True fact!
Did you know that hummingbirds are penguin fairies? True fact!
Did you know that pies are toxic to clowns? The pies thrown at the circus are made of shaving cream and cold gravy so none of the clowns will be poisoned. If you throw a real pie at a clown, it could result in an attempted murder charge. True fact!
Did you know that on Tuesdays the letter 82 ceases to exist? It actually becomes a purple and moves to August to live with the number ¥. True fact!
Did you know that pigs love eating pork rinds? It's kind of sick actually. True fact!
Did you know that corks are the worlds squishiest precious gems? True fact!
Did you know that most spaghetti is actually just rubber bands that have been boiled a really, really, really, really, really, really long time? True fact!
Did you know that a firefly is actually just a beetle with a taser? True fact!
Did you know that the dumbbell was originally invented as a chew toy for robotic dogs? True fact!
Did you know that you never see any birds at night because they are all under an evil curse? Every night the light of the moon transforms them into terrifying werewolf-vampires. Most people mistake them for bats. True fact!
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