"I'm being asked for my ID at a grocery store, to buy cigarettes," the man grumbled angrily. "What, do I look 37 to you?" The man actually looked at least 20 years older than that, but I wasn't going to tell him that.
"They have to ID everyone," the woman behind him tried to explain helpfully.
"No they don't!" The man snapped at her. "No they don't." The woman fell silent at his unexpected rudeness, and said nothing as he stormed out of the store.
As he drove down the road, puffing on two cigarettes at the same time, a giant chubby hand came out of nowhere and grabbed his car.
"VVVRROOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!" An ear-splittingly high-pitched baby voice screamed. "VVRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!" The chubby hand drove his car up a tree, and down the side of a mountain.
"Gordy!" A earth-shakingly loud, motherly voice called over the mountain range, startling the owner of the giant hand, causing it to drop the car into a lake. As the car bobbed to the surface, the man saw a baby the size of a shopping mall pulling off a diaper the size of a swimming pool. "GORDY!" The voice called again. "COME GET SOME PUDDING!!!" The baby jumped at the mention of pudding and he grabbed the car again, climbing over the mountains, leaving his diaper by the lake.
"Oh, Gordy," the giantess said, picking up her baby. "Where is your diapie?" She put him into a high chair the size of the Willis Tower, and handed him a pudding cup the size of a dump truck.
That baby looked from the man in the car, to the pudding, and back again. "SPLAP!" He screamed, and a sea of chocolate was the last thing the man ever saw.