Sunday, February 26, 2017

#TrueFacts21!

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Did you know that God is currently punishing the US with a plague of beards? No one knows what we did, but it must have been bad. #TrueFact

Did you know that the Savage Log-Beast is not actually all that dangerous? It has no teeth or stomach, so anyone it eats just ends up with a few splinters. #TrueFact

Did you know that sweatercakes taste like yarn, and leave a weird, fuzzy aftertaste in your mouth? #TrueFact

Did you know that in 1786, one of the most avant-garde fashion designers of Tiny Town, Kentucky, was a woman named Cilantro Forté? Sadly, she was the true definition of a misunderstood genius. Local clergy described her dress made entirely of pepperoni pizza as a "Sinful mess from Heck", and burned it at the stake. Cilantro ate it anyway, 'cause even burnt pizza tastes good! #TrueFact

Did you know that most dragon legends were based on sighting of really big ducks? This is because giant ducks can breathe fire. #TrueFact

Did you know that cured ham is made from pigs that had a really bad cold? The pigs got better by taking lots of echinacea, cayenne pepper, and garlic. After a week or so, they were totally cured! #TrueFact

Did you know that the Derp-Eyed Horror is the most terrifying creature in all of creation? And somehow it also manages to be the most hilarious. #TrueFact

Did you know that the watermelon is the world's largest legless insect? Its rind is actually it's exoskeleton. #TrueFact

Did you know that the Bermuda Triangle is actually more of a square? The guy who named it didn't really know his shapes that well. #TrueFact

Did you know that last week, Philip Von Bankershim became the first person in history to win three eating contests in the same day? He won a pie eating contest at breakfast, a hot dog eating contest at lunch, and a spaghetti eating contest at dinner. His funeral is tomorrow at 11:30. #TrueFact

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