Tuesday, May 29, 2018

#True Facts (May 2018)


Did you know that Nostradamus once had a fever dream caused by a bowl of expired ham salad? In the dream, the end of the world was brought on by enormous flying pigs, raining down from the heavens, wreaking havoc upon humanity. This end times upheaval will be known as the Aporkalypse. #TrueFact

Did you know that cornbread is neither corn, nor bread? It's actually a life form similar to a dried out sea sponge. #TrueFact

Did you know that world renowned conductor Corbin Cornwall conducts his orchestra using an extra long Slim Jim? He usually goes through about ten per concert, because he chomps off a bite every time he waves it past his mouth. #TrueFact

Did you know that computer mice are the favorite food of robotic owls? #TrueFact

Did you know that people used to stuff pillows with an entire duck? Eventually they got sick of all the squawking, quacking, and flapping around all night, and decided to pull out all its feathers instead. #TrueFact

Did you know that rainbows are caused by departing butterfly souls, ascending to their heavenly reward? #TrueFact

Did you know that country music superstar Sheryl Crow isn’t a real crow? She’s actually a bluejay operating a human-shaped mech suit. #TrueFact

Did you know that wormholes are made by galactic space parasites? #TrueFact

Did you know that sushi was invented in rural Iowa? In 1721, a farmer wrapped a raw catfish in some corn husks and served it with Arby's Horsey sauce. Sadly his culinary experiment failed. Badly. He was condemned by several local media outlets, and run out of the county by an angry mob. It would be over 200 years before Switzerland would perfect his revolutionary idea. #TrueFact

Did you know that beloved childhood icon, Barney the Dinosaur suffered from multiple behavioral and personality disorders? The purple behemoth was ultimately fired from PBS after he ate three children who wouldn't obey him. He now spends his days drifting from town to town, eating any disobedient children he can find. #TrueFact

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