Did you know that Suabelline Beard Moistener is actually the number one recommended facial cosmetic for the athletes competing in the 2019 Beardalympics? Which is weird, because I could have sworn it was a trendy new hydration beverage... #TrueFacts
Did you know that the sponge is one of the few remaining varieties of ocean cheese? The rest have gone extinct due to over-harvesting by mer-farmers. #TrueFact
Did you know that in 1893 Missouri wanted to rename America, Missourica? They were getting pretty big for their britches back then. #TrueFact
Did you know that deaf people wear sunglasses? You thought it was blind people, but nope! #TrueFact
Did you know that chapstick is invisible lipstick? The invisible man always keeps a stick on hand in case of fashion emergencies. #TrueFact
Did you know that mustard is racist ketchup? #TrueFact
What? That makes no sense? Well, duh... Were you expecting that lipstick fact to make sense too?
Did you know that dinosaurs went extinct due to poaching? You haven’t lived until you’ve had poached T-Rex on toast with Brachio-bacon. #TrueFact
Did you know that charcoal briquettes are phoenix eggs? Majestic phoenix mothers lay their eggs inside backyard grills all around the world, so that their babies can be born safely in the flames of your summer weekend cookouts. So basically all your dads are Firebird Doulas. #TrueFact
Did you know that in boxing, there are teams of two on two? It only looks like one on one because one guy's a ghost. You can tell because sometimes it looks like they’re punching the air. #TrueFact
Did you know that if you eat too many carrots you will turn orange? Likewise, you’ll turn green from eating too much pistachio pudding. T'was the Wicked With of the West's only vice. Well, that, and the terrorization of the Munchkins. And the subjugation of the Winkies. And enslavement of the Flying Monkeys. And the multiple attempted murders... Okay, I guess that her penchant for pistachio pudding was the least of her personal problems. #TrueFact
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