Did you know that in Canada, children have to recite the Pledge of Eh-Legence every morning before school? #TrueFact
Did you know that deodorant is full of hair seeds? You plant them in your armpits, and water them with your sweat. #TrueFact
Did you know that crabs eat dish towels? That’s why one of the pair always disappears in the wash. #TrueFact
- What do you mean that’s socks?
Did you know that cuttlefish is a misspelling? It’s cuddlefish. Because it’s just so flippin’ adorbs! I just want to squeeze it! Now! #TrueFact
Did you know that clown babies are born colorless? Clown children are generally bald until at least age 6, and their distinct markings and color patterns only begin to develop around age ten. The only way to distinguish a clown baby from a human baby is the nose. #TrueFact
Did you know that if you put a slice of bologna in a CD player, it will play a previously unreleased Weird Al EP? #TrueFact
Did you know that popcorn is an edible, miniature, time-locked explosion? #TrueFact
Did you know that toads don't cause warts? Wart Fairies do. Toads and Wart Fairies look quite similar, but the fairy has wings. #TrueFact
Did you know that the best, worst flavor of cereal is Beef Krispies? Beef Krispies are served with gravy instead of milk, and children cry at the mere sight of them. #TrueFact
Did you know that aliens use tractor beams to plow their force fields? #TrueFact
- I feel like my brain probably stole that last one from some terrible joke book I borrowed from the library when I was seven, and then randomly resurfaced it one day as I was writing these dumb jokes. If that's the case, I beg forgiveness from the original author. And if that's not the case, then somebody had better pay me, because that joke was so dumb it was brilliant. Seven-year-old me would have been dying of laughter reading that thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment