Yesterday I had another rude customer, and for some reason my childish side decided that a similar fate should befall her as well. Since the first story had been for a writing contest, I gave myself the same parameters. Kill her off in 200 words or less. I did it in 197. As before, everything in the story is completely true. The first two paragraphs anyway...
“Have a nice day!” I called out, setting the last of the groceries into the customer’s car. I closed the trunk and wheeled the empty cart back into the grocery store. Inside, an elderly woman was rummaging through a purse which she had set on top one of the two rows of carts. I collected a second cart that another customer had left in the entryway, pushed them into the row that the woman had not blocked off, and headed back inside.
“Boy, you sure are noisy!” The old lady vociferously exclaimed behind me as I entered the store. I honestly thought she was joking so I started laughing and turned around, only to see her glaring at me with a fury so malevolent, that you would have thought that I had just slapped her face, spit in her eye, and insulted her long-dead mother.
Just then, from outside there came a thunderous roar, and the window beside the carts shattered inward as the head of a massive Tyrannosaurus Rex burst though. In one swift motion, the beast snatched up the cantankerous old woman, and swallowed her whole.
The poor thing had indigestion for days afterwards.
I've now decided that as long as I keep having encounters with rude people, this kind of story will be a regular thing. So, a word of warning - Be nice to me, or I will literarily kill you.