Did you know that the word "Toupee" comes from a small European creature that looked like a cross between a badger and a rabbit? It was hunted to extinction in the late 1600's for use in a line of men's hairpieces. True fact!
Did you know that the United States were almost renamed AmBearica in 1858? President James Buchanan's 2-year-old niece, Tallulah-Jane, mispronounced America all the time, and he thought it was so cute he tried to have the entire country renamed. True Fact!
Did you know that, due to the literal nature of the saying, "You are what you eat," merpeople are actually all Catholics who ate too much fish during Lent? True fact!
Did you know that before being sold as "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" This now popular fake dairy product was marketed under a variety of different names, all of which sold terribly until they finally came up with a successful name, Not Butter. Some of the failed names include Not Cheese, Not Lard, Not Tofu and Not Crisco. True fact!
Did you know that tulips are carnivorous? Their favorite food is seagulls. True fact!
Did you know that the demonic locusts spoken of in the book of Revelation are actually just shrimp? When the inevitable apocalyptic plague finally occurs, the only way to defeat them will be to convert the world's swimming pools into deep fat fryers. True fact!
Did you know that phoenixes were a real species of bird, but are now extinct? They really did burst into flames, but contrary to popular belief, they did not rise from the ashes. This is why they are now extinct. True fact!
Did you know that sugar is made by imprisoning fairies inside hamster balls and playing tennis with them? The pixie dust that gets beat out of them is later swept off the tennis court and sold as sugar to grocery stores all over the world. True fact!
Did you know that the same method for sugar making is also used to make the powder on the outsides of sour gummy worms? The only difference is, they use extremely angry fairies for the sour powder. Making sour powder is much faster than making sugar, because they only need to catch a few fairies. The longer they're trapped in the hamster ball, the angrier the fairies get, and the more sour powder they make. True fact!
Did you know that penguins do not use sparkly nail polish when they paint their toenails? This is because they are allergic to glitter. True fact!
Did you know that purple doesn't exist? It's just a communist conspiracy. True fact!
Did you know that cheese is an explosive? True fact!
Did you know that lighter fluid is made of charcoal juice? True fact!
Did you know that toothpaste was originally invented as an ice cream topping? True fact!
Did you know that medicine balls got their names because they are actually giant pills meant to be swallowed whole? True fact!
Did you know that light bulbs are made by imprisoning geniuses from all over the world and forcing them to come up with ideas? When the light bulbs appear over their heads, the genius' jailers snatch them out of the air and box them up to sell. True fact!
Did you know that keyboard keys were originally supposed to be in alphabetical order? They are all mixed up now because the guy who was delivering the prototype dropped it on the way to the factory and it smashed. He didn't know the alphabet so he put it back together wrong and the people at the factory thought it was built that way on purpose. Ever since then they've been following the messed up model. True fact!
Did you know that all snakes were once lizards who were involved in various construction and automobile accidents? They lost all their legs and couldn't afford the prosthetics, so they just wriggle around on their stomachs now. True fact!
Did you know that the only reason aliens ever visit earth is to steal spaghetti from the Italians? They have no idea how to make their own. True fact!
Did you know that dinosaurs never existed? All those bones people keep digging up are actually part of an elaborate prank being played on us by the tooth fairy. For centuries she's been collecting teeth and making them into giant bones to bury so archeologists can find them. True fact!