Friday, December 25, 2015

True Christmas Facts

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Did you know that the angel originally scheduled to deliver the Christmas messages was named Gavriel? He had a little run in with an owl on his way down to earth, so his twin brother had to take his place while he filled out the owl insurance papers. #TrueFact

Did you know that Santa used to use unicorns to pull his sleigh? Once they went extinct, he had to switch to reindeer. #TrueFact

Did you know that Santa is so fat because he has a thing for reindeer steak? He has a whole farm in Finland where he breeds them. Don't tell Rudolph... #TrueFact

Did you know that due to reasons seen in the previous #TrueFact, Santa was almost certainly the driving force behind the extinction of the unicorns? #TrueFact

Did you know that the little drummer boy of the famous song wasn't even at Jesus' birth? He was watching Bethlehem's Got Talent when everything went down. When he heard about it later he wrote that song and auditioned for the next season. Simoniclese kicked him out halfway through the first verse. #TrueFact

Did you know that the song Frosty the Snowman, was originally a much darker poem? They had to clean it up for prime-time television. The original poem is as follows.
Frosty the snowman,
Was doomed to die at birth,
He knew all day he would melt away,
So he cried until he died.

Did you know that the three wise men weren't really all that wise? They couldn't even do beginner's algebra. The people of that time only thought they were wise because the muttered gibberish about the stars that sounded legit. "Oh! Astromeda is circling Cassielopea! There will be good harvests for lemon farmers this year!" #TrueFact

Did you know that the tradition of murdering a Christmas tree every year originated with the Vikings? The Vikings weren't all that smart. They thought the trees were trying to take their land so they waged war on them. They would collect the fallen bodies of the enemy and prop them up in their houses as a warning to other trees. #TrueFact

Did you know that before Mary had the Lamb of God, she had a little lamb? It's true! They wrote a whole song about it! #TrueFact

Did you know that the mistletoe kiss originated as a scheme by someone’s creepy uncle? #TrueFact

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