Obligatory disclaimer, none of this is supposed to make sense. These are all real quotes, from real conversations I had, heard, or overheard. These all made sense in context, but I thought they were funnier without.
Full disclosure: The majority of these are from me and my cousins. We say weird things sometimes. Okay, lots of times.
Also, I decided to change up the way I title these posts. Since they obviously do not happen every month, instead of putting the month in the title, I'm going to use one of my favorite phrases from the post to differentiate between entries.
"Oh man! That's a good puff!"
"I had a caramel once, made by cloistered nuns. It was very soft."
"Murder the rainbow donkey!"
"Father Time will snack on the bluebirds."
"I wonder what would happen if you put a kidney stone in a rock tumbler."
"It smells so good! Like Scotch tape!"
"I need to make you some felt sardines."
"I wanted to experience every textile with my mouth."
"I know of your lust for bagels."
"Do you have meat breath?"
"Do you have linty loins?"
"I'm going to dress you up in little clothes, and make you really mad."
"Now he gets a weird lump beverage."
"I was a baby of substance."
"It sounds like it's raining Beanie Baby guts."
"Look at my haunted pickle slice!"
"She's currently attacking the tablecloth."
"I made a cloudy bat thing!"
"Someday I may rub chickpea flour into my hair, but I don't know if I want to commit to that right now."
"That baby doesn't like this dinosaur!"
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