Friday, December 28, 2012

Facebook Friends #8


Mitch Morebuff
Hello Facebook! I am ROCKIN' the no-shirt look!!!
Bertha Buff'nstuff Likes This

BB Tween
I totes got a babysitting gig! Falcon City concert here I come!
Rainbow Sunshine Who for?

BB Tween The Frazzled Boys

Lorenzo Literate I'll start a memorial fund for you. Tombstones aren't cheap, you know.

BB Tween It's only the oldest boy and the triplets. The twins are going to be at a slumber party, and the youngest girl is going to be with their grandma. It'll be much easier than last time, and with the price they pay for sitters, I'll be rich by the end of the night!
Lorenzo Literate You'll be dead by the end of the night. You know Alex Grey, their last baby sitter?
BB Tween No.
Lorenzo Literate Exactly.
BB Tween Oh Please.

T.M. Info
Is it bad if your snot is sometimes yellow, sometimes green, and sometimes orange?
Mrs. Info If you have a medical question, why don't you just come ask me, instead of plastering this information all over Facebook for the world to see?
T.M. Info So, apparently you don't know me very well, mom. :p
Lurking Liker Likes This

Ima Bean
Have a birthday.

Lorenzo Literate Um, I know that you are a very disturbed young... woman(?) but why are you posting this? It's not anyone's birthday today.

Ima Bean Glozz. Chewvanka, en Glozzio.

Lorenzo Literate Yeah, I thought as much. I wish you would find yourself a good therapist.

Ima Bean Actually, this is my therapy. I'd go insane in real life if I didn't have the internet to be insane on.

Lorenzo Literate Wow. For once, you make perfect sense.

Ima Bean And thanks be to thou, oh mighty Man of Mystery. Fleetgrass to your dozens of Grandkittens.

Lorenzo Literate And we're back to bizzaro-ness.

Mamma Frazzled
Did you know that it is entirely possible to burn down a swimming pool? WITH water in it?
Grammy Happy Oh my! Those little scamps!
Mamma Frazzled Well, it's out now. Even the fire department couldn't figure out how they managed to do it.
Aunty Uncle Why was there water in it? It's the middle of December!
Mamma Frazzled Well, that's something you'll have to ask the children who were supposed to be building a snowman. I was busy cleaning up four boxes of cereal and a gallon of milk that the triplets had dumped down the stairs when all this happened. If I didn't have my night out to look forward to tonight, I think I'd go insane.
Lorenzo Literate And this is what you have to look forward to, BB Tween!
BB Tween Stop trying to scare me. I'm bringing a bunch of DVDs and candy. They'll behave. I hope...

Sally Sharitall

Lurking Liker Likes This
Joyful Exclamations EEEEEEEP!!!! SO CUTE!!!!


Rainbow Sunshine This is the most adorable thing I've seen all day, Sally! :D

Joy Lyrical My Heart! It's melting!


Katie Catlover Heaven! I've died and gone to it! This is the most adorable thing in the universe!

Lorenzo Literate Good Grief. Nothing like a kitten to make the internet melt into a goopy puddle.

Winston Q. Eyeglasses HobbitQuest: The Movie opens this weekend! I'm leaving now to camp outside the theater! :D
Lorenzo Literate I'm torn. On one hand I wish to avoid this movie like the plague, as it is sure to be one of the most popular films of the year. On the other hand, it has its roots in a classic 20th century novel. I can't decide whether I should shun and ridicule it for how "Mainstream" it is, or praise it for how culturally significant it is. One thing's for sure, the book will be better.

Marty McMacho I was going to make fun of lil' Winston, but it looks like you're a bigger target than he is! What a geek! BA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Amy Aminal
During this sad holiday season let us remember the millions of turkeys needlessly slaughtered every year. We need to do something people! This madness must end!
R.W. Republicrazy I'll help! All those dead turkeys will need someone to dispose of their bodies! I'll eat them!

Ferdie Foodie I'll help! Dead turkeys are my favorite kind of dead bird to eat!

Amy Aminal You are sick individuals you know that?

R.W. Republicrazy MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

BB Tween
Getting ready to go babysit! Anyone got a bulletproof vest and a hazmat suit I can borrow?
Lorenzo Literate We are gathered here to mourn the loss of a life cut tragically short, by the cruel hands of crazy, maniacal, and possibly rabid children.

BB Tween Oh, stuff it, Lorenzo.

Gloom Lyrical
Caught in a downpour, beset by ravens, and stalked by evil clowns. Misery follows the forlorn and forgotten. - FamousDepressedWriter
Joy Lyrical Wow. Aren't you a little Debbie Downer.
Ferdie Foodie Mmmmmmmm.... Little Debbies.... :P

David Duvvie
Miss my Luvsie-Pie!!!!
Lori Luvvie Miss my Duvsie-Pie!!!! How's your new job going?

David Duvvie Terrible. I hate it, but being a Quality Control Specialist at the castor oil factory was the only job I could find after the deodorant factory fired me.

Nosey Nellie Why'd they fire you?

David Duvvie Apparently I wasn't sniffing "Deep Enough" to tell whether or not the deodorants were working.

Lorenzo Literate Dude, I never thought I'd say this, but compared to what you've got now, that armpit-sniffing job sounds amazing!

Izzy Illiterate
My cuzin jut had a babby!!! It so cute!!! it a gril!!!1
Lorenzo Literate Jennie had a gril?

Izzy Illiterate YeS!!!!

Lorenzo Literate Wow! That must have hurt! How big is it? How many steaks can it hold?

Izzy Illiterate wut?

Lorenzo Literate It it propane or charcoal?

Izzy Illiterate hu??/

Izzy Illiterate y r u askin such werd questins?

Izzy Illiterate r u makin fun uf me agin?

Izzy Illiterate I MENT GIRL!!! YOUR SO MEEN!!!!

Lorenzo Literate That was too easy. :D

BB Tween
Anyone want to come over and help me find the kids? We're playing hide and seek and I can't find them...
Lorenzo Literate I knew you were in trouble when you accepted the job.

BB Tween I'm not in trouble. We're playing a game. Apparently they're really good at it.

Lorenzo Literate Ok. Just keep telling yourself that as you play on Facebook while the kids are missing.

BB Tween I'm on my ePhone while I look. I'm not irresponsible!

Lorenzo Literate Sure...

BB Tween GTG. I just heard them in the living room.

Lill Sloshy
Lill Sloshy ANONE?
Lill Sloshy SOMEONE?
Lorenzo Literate Sorry, I have a high class gathering to attend. And please turn off your caps lock.
Izzy Illiterate wow. rood much loezno? Sorry Lill, I'll be at Roxy's that night. You're welcome to join us, we won't be drinking much more than sparkling grape juice though.

BB Tween
I'm pretty sure I never imagined that I would ever know firsthand what the sound of a grandfather clock falling onto a glass coffee table was...
Lurking Liker Likes This

Betsy Etsy
Just finished making a brand new quilt! It's made of upcycled cloth diapers and washcloths! It's so cute and environmentally friendly! If anyone wants to buy it I'll let it go for 50% off!
Lorenzo Literate *Runs in terror*
Lurking Liker Likes This
Izzy Illiterate o go away lernezo i cant by it, but i hope you sell it!

Vaguely McDramaPants
If you can't say anything nice then you have serious problems!!!
Izzy Illiterate AMEN SISER!!!!

Nosey Nellie
What's going on Gurl? Text me!

BB Tween
The kids were so well behaved tonight! AFTER they broke the entire living room...
Lurking Liker Likes This

Indie Pendant
Happy Holidays Everyone!
Rainbow Sunshine You too Indie! :)

R.W. Republicrazy How dare you use such an offensive Term! It's CHRISTmas!!!!

Rabid Liberal For once I agree with Indie! No one should ever wish anyone a Merry Christmas! Not evryone is Christian!

Indie Pendant Oh for pete's sake! Well, I DON'T agree with you! I only wrote that because there's a whole bunch of holidays going on this time of year, and none of them are happening today! I went with a generic friendly greeting! You two should stop making something out of nothing! Good Grief!

Rainbow Sunshine
If everyone in the world would stop looking for things to be mad about, the world would be an even more beautiful place to live.
Lurking Liker Likes This