Saturday, November 2, 2013

A Twist Ending! 6!

The true half of this story took place in Harlan. We are required to scan everyone's IDs for any alcohol or tobacco purchases, regardless of age. The computer will not let any sale proceed until you have scanned an ID. A manager can bypass this, but no one else. This is apparently a heinous inconvenience for some people.


"Do you have an ID I can scan?" I asked the man, running his case of beer over the scanner.

"What are you, stupid?" exclaimed the man, glaring at me like I'd just blown my nose on his grandmother's curtains.

Caught off guard, I looked at him dumbfounded, not knowing how to respond.

"I'm 76 years old!" He declared loudly "How stupid are you?"

"I'm sorry, sir," I apologized, "But in order for the machine to process the sale of alcohol or tobacco, it needs to scan an ID."

"Well, nobody's ever asked me for one before!" He stated angrily.

"The managers can skip it." I explained. "I can't, unless I call a supervisor to override the system."

"Well, I am NEVER buying this here again!" He stated angrily, handing over his ID at last.

As I finished his order, he grabbed his beer and marched out of the store.

Tossing his case of beer in the trunk, the man climbed into his dented station wagon and headed for home. As he drove, a shadow fell over the vehicle. He couldn't see what it was, but he heard an eerie shriek from above. Suddenly the roof of the vehicle crumpled above his head with a metallic crunch, and the car slowly lifted off the ground and into the sky.

Far below, near the edge of a cliff, lay a nest the size of a house, containing three eggs, each the size of a Volkswagen. As the car began to descend toward the nest, a giant beak tore off the roof. A giraffe-sized pterosaur extracted the man like a canned sardine and dropped him into the center of the nest. Dazed, he tried to climb up the side of the nest to escape, but at that moment, the eggs began moving. Suddenly, the side of one of them exploded outwards, and an infant quetzalcoatlus burst forth, swallowing the man in one hideously adorable gulp.

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