True Facts! 8!

Did you know that Gummi Bears are the larval stage of a panda's life cycle? True fact!

Did you know that those skinny watermelons are actually called cucumbers? They are able to lose that much weight by eating absolutely no sugar whatsoever. That's why they taste so bland. True fact!

Did you know that a blue jay is just a clinically depressed cardinal? This explains their terrible behavior toward other birds. They don't bully because they're mean, they bully because they need someone to love them. True fact!

Did you know that Cleopatra was once a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader? True fact!

Did you know that Great Grandfather Farnsworth Fitgerald Fitzhugh likes it when you do that? True fact!

Did you know that Great Grandmother Fernald Flower-Anne Fitzhugh does NOT like it when you do that? True fact!

Did you know that women in a small rural village near Tokyo, Japan use cooked rice noodles as hair scrunchies? True fact!

Did you know that Bigfoot is actually just a bear wearing a really smelly giant monkey disguise? True fact!

Did you know that when trees change color in the fall they are actually making leaf Doritos? True fact!

Did you know that the ocean is allergic to little kids? When there are too many swimming around in it, the poor thing starts sneezing, blasting out all it's salt into the air, and blowing it all over the country. That's where snow comes from! True fact!

Did you know that crocodiles love Gatorade? They drink it just to make their alligator cousins mad because alligators are under the impression that Gatorade is actually MADE of alligators. And it is! True fact!

Did you know that flowers are the worlds jewelry? True fact!

Did you know that animals are the world's pets? True fact!

Did you know that grass is the world's beard? True fact!

Did you know that mountains are the world's hats? True fact!

Did you know that insects are the world's lice? True fact!

Did you know that oceans are the world's sweat? True fact!

Did you know that geysers are the world's zits? True fact!

Did you know that birds are horrible plastic surgeons? It's true! Just look at what they did to those poor ducks who had to change their name to spoonbills. True fact!

Did you know that in the European version of Sesame Street, their version of Cookie Monster is called the Biscuit Beast? It looks like a shaggy blue ghillie suit, with no arms, no legs, and no eyes, and it is truly one of the most terrifying things to ever appear on a children's television program. It's about as tall as a man, and it moves by a slow, shuffling hop. As it has no arms, it eats by bending over the counter and slowly eating the cookies, or biscuits, as the English call them, directly off the plate. Its "Om, Nom, Nom," as it methodically chews its food, is slow and guttural. Instead of singing songs about the letter C, it just stands there, audibly breathing, it's chest slowly heaving with every breath, and its mouth hanging slightly open as it "Stares" directly into the camera with it's head tilted slightly to the side. The creature can only be described as Om Nom Nominous. True fact!