I started this post almost a year ago. For some reason I just started thinking up "True facts!" about the presidents one day, and before long I had almost enough for a post. Later I sat down, rounded them out to twenty, and decided to save them to use for Presidents' Day. Today.
Did you know that Andrew Jackson liked to wear ladies' hats? He wasn't a cross-dresser, he just really liked ladies' hats. True fact!
Did you know that Grover Cleavland was into furry cosplay? His favorite character was one he created himself, a blue monkey named Steak Sauce. This costume would later be used as the inspiration for the Sesame Street Muppet, Grover. True fact!
Did you know that Abraham Lincoln holds the highest Pac-Man score in history? True fact!
Did you know that Franklin D. Roosevelt became obsessed with Dimes after his face was put on them? He was once heard to tell a friend "These tiny frisbees with my face on them are delightfully enchanting!" Then he would throw them and lose them. It was thought that he had some kind of a problem. True fact!
Did you know that Thomas Jefferson used to throw Disco Raves at his plantation? This was well before Disco, OR Raves. He was quite the trend-setter. True fact!
Did you know that under John F. Kennedy, being a clown was illegal? Kennedy was extremely Coulrophobic, and decided to legislate accordingly. Under the Kennedy regime, clowns faced severe penalties, including up to 6 months in prison, if they were caught in public with their makeup on. The suffering was not limited to just clowns, however. Due to the cross-race effect, mimes were frequently mistaken for clowns, and faced similar persecution. True fact!
Did you know that President Obama was not actually born in Hawaii? He was actually born in Connecticut, but that's such a boring state, that he went to great lengths to pretend to be more exotic. True fact!
Did you know that at one time, congress entertained the notion of choosing a president with a Miss America pageant? The idea was nixed after John Adams pointed out that all the men would look horrible in dresses. True fact!
Did you know that Hillary Clinton was actually the first female president? History says it was Bill, but we all know who was really running the show. True fact!
Did you know that George W. Bush is a clone of Bush Sr.? He was upset about not getting a second term, so he cloned himself so he could go twice. True fact!
Did you know that William Howard Taft tried to duplicate Teddy Roosevelt's success with the Teddy Bear by saving an animal of his own? Sadly, the Willy Walrus never caught on. True fact!
Did you know that Richard Nixon used to bathe in yellow Gatorade? Pat didn't know anything about this odd quirk of his, until one day she accidentally walked in on him and was absolutely horrified. True fact!
Did you know that Obama has his own flock of flying monkeys? He got the from George W. Bush as a "Thanks For Getting Me Out of This Heinous Job" gift. True fact!
Did you know that Ronald Reagan could heal the sick and walk on water? This is why Republicans worship him. True fact!
Did you know that Abraham Lincoln wore his top hat to hide his pet beaver? Its name was Priscilla Chrysanthemum. True fact!
Did you know that when Jimmy Carter retired, he took a part time job as that rat thing at Chuck E. Cheese? True fact!
Did you know that George Washington was an alien from Saturn's 10th moon? That powdered wig he always wore was to hide the tentacles on his head. True fact!
Did you know that Sarah Palin wanted to be Queen of America? That wasn't allowed, so she tried for the next best thing. It was decided that she and John McCain would arm wrestle to see who would be at the top of the ticket. Though she lost, it is widely speculated that John McCain somehow cheated. True fact!
Did you know that Lyndon B. Johnson's favorite Pop-Tart flavor was S'Mores? Lady Bird thought that they were absolutely disgusting. Her preferred breakfast item was an Egg McMuffin. True fact!
Did you know that Millard Fillmore and his wife Jane single-handedly stopped an alien invasion? They saw the spaceships land and started throwing rotten grapes at them. The aliens weren't very big, and they were not exactly a strong or advanced race. They were soundly defeated. True fact!