Friday, November 6, 2015

True Facts! 19!

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Did you know that the Giant European Moose Ferret is both the biggest deer, and the biggest weasel? #TrueFact

Did you know that Nilla Wafers are the world's most crumbly currency? #TrueFact

Did you know that Gregory Warren Esquire the Third, was the first lawyer in America to stick a lemon meringue pie upside down on the top of his head and wear it as a hat? #TrueFact

Did you know that the Carnivorous Donkey Bat is the only hoofed mammal with eight legs? #TrueFact

Did you know that Shakespeare worked at McDonald's his entire life? All his plays were just fan fics about his favorite TV shows that he posted on his blog at night. They didn't even become famous until like a thousand years after he died, and everyone had forgotten what TV shows he was writing about. #TrueFact

Did you know that cheese Pop-Tarts are a thing? At least they were. A few weeks after he invented them, the guy suddenly remembered that cheese is supposed to be refrigerated. I won't even try to describe what he found in the cupboard, but after that he decided they were probably a bad idea. #TrueFact

Did you know that beloved fire safety icon, Smokey the Bear, was a serial arsonist? The forest fire PSAs were a condition of his parole. #TrueFact

Did you know that prior the invention of elastic, people had to use tiny belts around their ankles to keep their socks up? #TrueFact

Did you know that beloved children's entertainer, Clorox the clown, was once sued by a large bleach company? No one knows why. We think they were probably a bunch of clown racists. #TrueFact

Did you know that in the early 1990's, a small chicken named Betty would regularly hijack city buses? She used them to free over 7 million chickens from factory farms all over the Midwest. Farm owners everywhere developed an intense phobia of public transportation, fearing that any vehicle could be "That Blasted Demon Chicken" coming to steal their livestock. Sadly, poor Betty disappeared one Sunday afternoon, and an abandoned bus was found in the woods near a factory farm with its tires shot out. Chickens everywhere still tell their chicks heroic tales of the exploits of their beloved hero, "The Henegade." #TrueFact

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