Friday, May 26, 2017

#TrueFacts 22

Did you know that the Blood Curdling Shrieker is the most terrifying variety of Venus Flytrap? It's also the least dangerous. It doesn't even eat flies. It eats celery. It only screams because it thinks it's hilarious to scare innocent hikers. #TrueFact

Did you know that The Tattling Avenger is the world's worst superhero? #TrueFact

Did you know that in 1994 seventeen people in Suffolk and Essex were severely maimed by a herd of feral cheeses? Their reign of terror was brought to an end by the heroic efforts of a middle-aged man in a sweater vest and his dog. They caught the Wild Wensleydales in Ipswich and served them with tea and crackers. #TrueFact

Did you know that viking women used to wear home-made skunk-beards to intimidate their husbands? #TrueFact

Did you know that Baby Ruth bars were originally sold in two-packs with a second candy bar called a Baby Orpah bar? #TrueFact
(This joke is straight out of the Bible, and if you didn't get it, I am utterly and completely ashamed of you, you poor, miserable heathen.)

Did you know that 25 months is almost a quarter of a century? People always thought that it was a quarter of a decade, but they were pretty much wrong. #TrueFact

Did you know that Skittles are rainbow dandruff? #TrueFact

Did you know that the Porkodactyl was so incredibly fat, that it could only fly about a quarter of a mile at a time? #TrueFact

Did you know that the European Snog-Beast is one of the most dangerous creatures that lurks in the Forest of Dean? If it puckers in your direction, RUN. #TrueFact

Did you know that in 1883 a steer was arrested for cross dressing? He taped a pink rubber glove filled with water to his stomach, and tried to get the farmer to milk him. He was immediately sentenced to death at Old Macdonald's Good Thymes Hamburger Emporium with no chance of parole. #TrueFact

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