True Christmas Facts

Did you know that the angel originally scheduled to deliver the Christmas messages was named Gavriel? He had a little run in with an owl on his way down to earth, so his twin brother had to take his place while he filled out the owl insurance papers. #TrueFact

Did you know that Santa used to use unicorns to pull his sleigh? Once they went extinct, he had to switch to reindeer. #TrueFact

Did you know that Santa is so fat because he has a thing for reindeer steak? He has a whole farm in Finland where he breeds them. Don't tell Rudolph... #TrueFact

Did you know that due to reasons seen in the previous #TrueFact, Santa was almost certainly the driving force behind the extinction of the unicorns? #TrueFact

Did you know that the little drummer boy of the famous song wasn't even at Jesus' birth? He was watching Bethlehem's Got Talent when everything went down. When he heard about it later he wrote that song and auditioned for the next season. Simoniclese kicked him out halfway through the first verse. #TrueFact

Did you know that the song Frosty the Snowman, was originally a much darker poem? They had to clean it up for prime-time television. The original poem is as follows.

Frosty the snowman,
Was doomed to die at birth,
He knew all day he would melt away,
So he cried until he died.

#TrueFact

Did you know that the three wise men weren't really all that wise? They couldn't even do beginner's algebra. The people of that time only thought they were wise because the muttered gibberish about the stars that sounded legit. "Oh! Astromeda is circling Cassielopea! There will be good harvests for lemon farmers this year!" #TrueFact

Did you know that the tradition of murdering a Christmas tree every year originated with the Vikings? The Vikings weren't all that smart. They thought the trees were trying to take their land so they waged war on them. They would collect the fallen bodies of the enemy and prop them up in their houses as a warning to other trees. #TrueFact

Did you know that before Mary had the Lamb of God, she had a little lamb? It's true! They wrote a whole song about it! #TrueFact

Did you know that the mistletoe kiss originated as a scheme by someone’s creepy uncle? #TrueFact

Christmas is Awesome!

I was going to title this post with my standard acronym, but then it would be something that stands for something else, and I didn't want them coming after me for stealing their acronym, so I didn't. :p

Everybody on YouTube has been making a ton of awesome Christmas content, and while I can't share it all, I did want to pick out a few of my favorites. And by a few, I mean a lot. Feel free to use this as your Christmas afternoon entertainment. :p

First up we'll kick this off with something from last year. I know I said I was doing stuff from this year, but I didn't do one of these last year, and Pentatonix did a ton of awesome videos last year. Since I'm focusing on this year, I'll only pick out one from last year, and I'm picking out the best one, Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.



Peter Hollens finally made a video for one of his most requested Christmas songs.



Simply Three, the string quartet, made a video for Christmas as well, God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen.



Next up is a hilarious sketch from Studio C. It just wouldn't be Christmas without some dark humor, right? :p



Lindsey Stirling made a video for the song Hallelujah, by going undercover as a street performer. Yes, this is not "Technically" a Christmas song, but she made it one. :)



Even Karmin got into the Christmas Spirit by taking a song I have never liked, for it's creepy undertones, and reworking it. Turning it from a song that sounds like an uncomfortable coercion situation, and into one about an internal conflict.



One of my biggest pet peeves this time of year, are people who complain about the "War on Christmas" and vehemently decry the use of the greeting "Happy Holidays." Blimey Cow made an absolutely brilliant spoof of these kinds of people, framing it in the language of the so-called "Social Justice Warriors." I was dying of laughter through the whole thing. If you've ever had the misfortune of heading down a dark tumblr path, then you know the other group, the SJWs, that they're talking about. It's a brilliant satire of both ends of the ideological spectrum.



Earlier this year I discovered that BYU has an accapella group, and they do some amazing work. (Of course they do, they're Mormons. Mormons apparently breath music! :p)



Nataly Dawn of Pomplamoose fame, recently covered Edelweiss, which is apparently a Christmas song now. :p Either way she's amazing. :)



And since I love both dark humor and puppets, the channel Glove and Boots has been doing both in a series of Santa confessional videos. This one is the funniest one. I about died laughing at the twist ending.



Since we started with PTX, let's end with them too. They've been hard at it this year again, with two new videos, Joy to the World, and The First Noel.

TIIA 10 (The Internet Is Awesome)

Let's kick this off with a video from what is arguably the First Family of Vine, The Eh Bee family. This video went absolutely viral on Facebook awhile back, and I watched it every time it came up in my newsfeed, because it just cracked me up so much. BTW, if you have a Vine account, go follow these guys, they are hilarious!



Here's another amazing video from Postmodern Jukebox, with another awesome twist halfway through.



Pentatonix just released a new album, (Of completely original music!) and this is their biggest single so far. Biggest in the public opinion sense. This one is amazing, but as I (Of course) bought the album and have listened to it like a million times, I have other favorites. There's no videos for those yet, so we'll just have to wait. :)



Peter Hollens has done it again. This time it's a song from How To Train Your Dragon 2!



If you watched all the way to the end of Peter's video, then you know he linked to another artist, The Hound + The Fox. Well I followed through, immediately subscribed, and then found this amazing rendition of The Hanging Tree from The Hunger Games.



Next is a skit from the YouTube channel Just Between Us. I laughed so hard, shared it, then watched it a few more times.



Let's cap this off with a new animated(!) music video for what is probably my favorite song ever from Lindsey Stirling. With vocals by Dia Frampton.

Facebook Friends #14

Two Facebook Friends posts in one year? What is this, 2012?

I have a couple new characters, one who makes a post, one who is just tagged, it's a redneck couple, as you'll be able to tell from the names. :p

Also, just as a point of clarification, a bunch of this was written ages ago, particularly the political post, which was written when conservatives were losing their minds over Obama's drone strikes. That is very old news now, and this post is no longer relevant to today's news. But I already wrote it, and I don't want to get rid of it, so I'm just leaving it in. I just wanted to clarify so no one was confused as to what I might have been parodying. :)

Rainbow Sunshine
Just sitting here reflecting on my dear Granny Sunshine. She would have been 99 today. I'm sure she's up in heaven smiling down on me. Go hug your grandmas for me, ok everyone? I love you all!!!

Joyful Exclamations Awwe, that's so sweet, Bow!! We love you too!!!

Elda Exclamations I BELIEVE CERTAIN PEOPLE COME IN2 OUR LIVES FOR A REASON JUST TO GIVE US WHAT WE NEED AT THAT MOMENT WE NEED THEM ITS HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE.

Ima Bean
I just saw a poor, lonely gummy bear, lying in the dirt. Someone had dropped it. It would never be eaten, its chewy sweetness had gone to waste. Its life was over, and its existence had been meaningless.
So I stomped on it. SQUISH!
Lurking Liker likes this.

Rick Troll Boy do you need help.

Lorenzo Literate We all know this. We've been trying to help her for years.

T. M. Info
Woo! I just snarted!

Mrs. Info I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am going to regret asking this, but what is that supposed to mean?

T. M. Info It means I sneezed, and blasted air from both ends! :D

Mrs. Info I'm shaking my head sadly and walking away now.

R.W. Republicrazy
Freakin' O'Malley going to drag us into another war! The warmonger! Bring our troops home!!!!

Rabid Liberal I'm always amazed by the right's love of peace when a democrat is calling the shots. Hypocrite.

R.W. Republicrazy I'M A HYPOCRITE?!?! YOU'RE THE HYPOCRITE!!!!! YOU WERE ALL OVER THOSE PEACE RALLIES 10 YEARS AGO!!!

Rabid Liberal I'm still for peace, I never said I wasn't. I don't like what O'Mally's doing over there any more than you do.

R.W. Republicrazy You aren't?

Rabid Liberal No, of course not. Not every liberal worships the ground he walks on. Most of us are perfectly normal.

R.W. Republicrazy Wow. I think this is the first time we agreed on anything. Care to join me at an O'Mally impeachment rally next week?

Rabid Liberal Of course not!!!

R.W. Republicrazy Well that didn't last long. 

Roxy Repost

Lorenzo Literate Now this is the kind of meme I can get behind! Sarcasm for the win! You can't see it, but I am literally slow clapping my genuine applause for this gem of an old woman.

Gladys Grizzle Good for her, but if I were her, I'd be using my cane to knock some sense into my no-good grandson!

Hannah Hashtag
We're holding a mayonnaise-a-thon to help cancer! Donate 20 bucks, and I'll add another jar of mayonnaise to the pool I'm jumping into! #peace #love #mayonnaise #cancer #blessed #givingback #charity #donation
Lurking Liker likes this.

Rick Troll Wow. Who knew that charity could be so #moronic.

Izzy Illiterate o u mean lik u?

Rick Troll Nice, someone's developed an attitude!

Izzy Illiterate boom babyy. u kno tats rite!

Redd Neckston
Holy cats! Ruby-red! Were makin this mess fer dinner!!!!

Bacon Wrapped Bacon Grilled Cheese
w/ Cheddar-Bacon Dipping Sauce 

Ingredients

2 Slices of White Bread - Don't you dare use wheat or gluten-free. This is NOT a recipe for health nuts!

4 Slices Processed 'Murican Cheese - Don't even think about using Brie or Gruyere. This is NOT a sandwich for rich, hoity-toity, snootity-snoot-snoots.

4 Slices Pre-Cooked Bacon - Don't you DARE use turkey bacon!!!! This is AMERICA and we eat REAL BACON here!!!!

6 Slices Uncooked Bacon - Don't you even DARE use tofu bacon, or some other vile, ungodly vegan concoction you Communist PIG!!!! DON'T YOU EVEN FREAKIN' DARE!!!!!!!

1 Jar Processed Cheddar Cheese Dip - Don't you even THINK ABOUT using any of that frou-frou Pennsylvania Créme Chése! This is not your Great Aunt Deloris's 50th annibirthary with salmon croquettes and LOX!!!!! YOU EAT THAT PROCESSED CHEESE LIKE GOD AND NATURE INTENDED!!!!!

1 Cup Bacon Bits - Don't you even come within 10,000 feet of the recipe with any of those heinous imitation soy-bits like grandma Phyllissabeth keeps in the ice-box! This is not the 1970's!!!! This is 2015! Those soy chunks are well known to cause stomach cancer and mouth boils!!! Quit trying to force that soy garbage on me you ignorant heathens!!! WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!! YOU'RE POISONING YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!

2 Sticks of Butter - Don't you even freakin' DARE use Margarine or Olive Oil!!! What are you trying to do, kill yourself?!!? That margarine is made of plastic and who knows what's in that olive oil mess!!! Besides! This is AMERICA!!!!! IN AMERICA WE EAT BUTTER ON EVERYTHING!!!! WHY ELSE WOULD GOD HAVE CREATED COW UDDERS THAT SQUIRT A DELICIOUS MULTI-PURPOSE BEVERAGE OUT WHEN YOU SQEEZE THEM?!? SO WE COULD MAKE YOGURT LIKE SOME HECK-DANG HIPPIES?!?! I DON'T THINK SO!!! GOD INTENDED FOR AMERICANS TO EAT BUTTER!!!! IT IS OUR PATRIOTIC DUTY AS CITIZENS OF THIS ONCE GREAT NATION TO EAT ALL THE BUTTER OUR GOD-FEARING HEARTS DESIRE!!!! FOR AMERICA!!!!!!!! FOR OUR FOREFATHERS!!!!! FOR FREEDOM!!!!!! *Eagle screech* *Fireworks* *Star Spangled Banner* 

Instructions

1. Layer the cheese and cooked bacon inside the bread LIKE A GOSH-DARN PATRIOT!!!!!!!

2. Rub an entire stick of butter all over the outside of your sandwich and fry that thing like George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, Robert E. Lee, and Ronald Q. Reagan would have wanted you to do!!!!!!

 3. Wrap the uncooked bacon all over the outside of your sandwich so that no bread is showing and throw the other stick of butter into the pan. Fry that thing until the bacon is crispier than Uncle Cletus's back on sunshine day!!!!!

4. Once the sandwich is done, pour the cheese dip and bacon bits into the leftover butter and bacon grease and mix it until it's warm and drippy. Then dunk that thing till all the dead patriots that have gone on to glory, cry tears of joy and sing your name from the heavens!!!!!

5. Bask in the knowledge that you, and only you, are the truest American patriot that ever walked this hallowed ground, and that The Lord Almighty Himself has reserved a special place of honor for you when you ascend to glory to receive your reward. You are what make this country great. You, Butter, and the almighty Bacon strip. You couldn't be more Patriotic if you kicked a hippie in the face while ten thousand eagles soared overhead pulling a giant, tattered Old Glory behind them. WELL DONE, THOU GOOD AND FAITHFUL PATRIOT!!!!!!

Ferdie Foodie This recipe is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I want this in my mouth right now!!!!!

Fiona Foodie Are you trying for a heart attack before age 35?

Hippie Critical OMZ!!! This looks Uhmayzayng!!!!! Except for all the hippie-slurs... That part is really offensive...

T. M. Info
Dear Diary, Today I went to the bathroom and realized I had my underwear on inside out. Then I thought, Oh well, it's too late now, I've come this far, I might as well leave them that way, so I put them back on. The end.

Mrs. Info Really? Two posts in one day? Have you no shame?

T. M. Info Uh, no. Have you met me?

Mrs. Info It was a rhetorical question. 

David Duvvie
Today was the worst day of my life.
Rick Troll likes this.

Lorie Luvvie Oh no! Why!? I really thought that the tasting job at the Baskin' Bunny Ice Cream Imaginarium would be the one! What happened!?

David Duvvie They hired a psycho to invent the flavors, that's what happened! Corn-Cream Vanilla with Wasabi Fudge swirl and Crispy Bacon Crunchies!? Who would CHOOSE to eat such a thing!?

Ferdie Foodie I WOULD!!!!! I NEED THAT JOB!!!!!!!!

Fiona Foodie Why am I not surprised?

Bob
I tried a new flavor of Jell-O today. #Living
Hannah Hashtag likes this.

PHIA (Peter Hollens is Awesome)

In putting together my other TIIA posts, I realized that I had a disproportionate amount of Peter Hollens songs, so I decided to give him his own post. As one of my favorite YouTubers, he deserves the spotlight for once anyway. :)

Peter has become very well known for his amazing covers of songs from The Lord of The Rings and The Hobbit, and this one is no exception.



Quite often a song will come out, and it will be ruined by overexposure. This next song is one of those, but Peter's version, featuring rapper Watsky, is one of the best versions I've ever heard, and a refreshing change from hearing the original everywhere I go.



Next we have a beautiful collaboration with his wife, Evynne, and The Piano Guys. It's so good.



Peter recently recruited teen vloggers, Brooklyn and Bailey for a music video, which was something they had never done, and they were so good.



I have never seen the movie The Gladiator, but that doesn't stop me from absolutely loving this cover of the main theme from the movie



Peter and Evynne make absolute magic every time they work together for a video, and their latest collab is no exception. Tangled is one of my favorite recent Disney movies, and this song is one of the best Disney songs in recent memory.

TIIA 9 (The Internet Is Awesome)

Let's start this post off with a video from Postmodern Jukebox, a cover of one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs, Bad Blood. It is literally one of the best covers I have ever seen due to one musical surprise about halfway through. You'll know it when you see it. :p



Next up we have another video from Player Piano, this time doing a Super Mario Brothers Medley.



This next video I'm sharing more for the video than the music, which is still amazing, but these Air Wheel things have become the latest internet craze, and Kurt Hugo Schneider managed to use them in a far more creative way than anyone else I have seen, anywhere on the internet.



Pentatonix recently covered another one of those songs that seems to be just everywhere, but as usual, their spin on it is far superior to the original, and will definitely replace it in my head as the definitive version of the song.



This is another song that is absolutely everywhere right now, but again, this version is made so much better by a cover artist, Alaa Wardi.

This song is one of my favorite songs from Mika's new album, if not his whole body of work.



Let's close this post with one of the best musical collabs I have seen in ages, Evynne Hollens and Nick Pitera doing a mashup with one of my favorite recent songs, Shut Up and Dance, and a great song from the 80's, Video Killed the Radio Star, which actually fits perfectly! The video was awesome, and the music was amazing! I bought the song immediately and it has been on replay ever since! When it was released, I was sharing it everywhere, even tumblr, which I almost never use! Watch it!

Baby Giraffes - A PSA

Public Service Announcement:

THIS

Is a newborn baby giraffe.

This beautiful GIANT bundle of sweetness and light,

IS A NEWBORN BABY GIRAFFE.

Baby giraffes are 6 feet tall when they are born.

So stop sharing this abomination on Facebook!!!!!!!!

This THING is NOT a baby giraffe!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by someone who loves giraffes far more than you EVER will. Which is obvious because you mistook a dik-dik, the worlds smallest antelope, for a giraffe, the world's TALLEST LAND MAMMAL!!!!!!!

(Disclaimer: I do not actually hate dik-diks, despite my apparent animosity towards this one, I just REALLY love giraffes.)

P.S. Woah, this brought out my sass! This is the first rant I've written in a LONG time! I think it was for a worthy cause though. Gotta do my part to stem the tide of zoological ignorance! :p