All these fake stories about him reminded me of the inspiration for my original True facts! post, the lists of lies spread around facebook as truth. So I thought to myself, well, why don't I just make up a bunch of things about Mr. Rodgers too? I already write "True Facts" about all sorts of other things, why not Mr. Rogers? So I did. :)
Disclaimer: None of this is meant to make fun of, or belittle Mr. Rogers in any way. He was one of my favorite people when I was young, so this is my way of paying tribute to him. Yes, I know this is a weird, random way to pay tribute to a person, but I'm a weird random person myself. You knew that already.
If you watched Mr. Rogers as much as I did as a kid, you'll notice a lot of very obscure references to some really random things that most people wouldn't get. I had a lot of fun writing these! :)
Did you know that Mr. Rodgers fish were not real? They were highly advanced robotic fish developed by the Sesame Street puppeteers, and planted in Mr. Rogers' home to spy on him in order to find out the secrets of his awesomeness. True fact!
Did you know that, in addition to being one of the top children's television hosts of all time, Mr. Rogers was also a crime-fighting ninja? Whenever he was alerted to danger in his neighborhood he would send Trolly to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe to distract the kids who were watching. Then he would quickly change into his black ninja sweater, sneakers, and mask, and stealthily hunt down the evil-doers, taking them out using only his wits and a pair of nun-chucks. True fact!
Did you know that Mr. Rogers was an expert ballet and break dancer? True fact!
Did you know that Mr. Rogers was a classically trained kazooist? True fact!
Did you know that Mr. McFeely was the leader of the only known tricycle gang in the US? True fact!
Did you know that the Neighborhood of Make-Believe is actually a real city on a planet in the Cardigan Galaxy? The trolly gets there through a wormhole that is inside his tunnel. True fact!
Did you know that King Friday is in his second marriage? His first wife, The African Warrior Queen Zanobia Zimbabwe, disappeared in India during the tiger hunt that discovered the orphaned baby Daniel Striped Tiger. True fact!
Did you know that Lady Elaine Fairchilde and Handyman Negri were the lead singer/guitar players in a hair metal band called "The Scheming Screamers"? True fact!
Did you know that Planet Purple was created when Asteroid Azure slammed into Moon Maroon and fused into one large planet? True fact!
Did you know that the Purple Panda is actually an immigrant from China whose fur was tinted by the newly formed planet's amethyst atmosphere. True fact!
Did you know that the Platypus Family are actually all beavers? They wear duck bills because they are all in the Witness Protection Program, and need to keep their true identities a secret. True fact!
Did you know that Henrietta Pussycat and X the Owl, were secretly married? Such a scandalous interracial relationship would have been frowned upon in those days, so they decided it would be better to pretend that they were just neighbors. Mr. Rogers was the only person caring enough to accept them just as they were. True fact!
Did you know that X the Owl's real name is not X? No one, aside from Henrietta Pussycat, actually knows anything about X, let alone his real name. His entire life is shrouded in a dark cloak of mystery... True fact!
Did you know that Mr. McFeely used to deliver the mail by motorcycle? The Council of Disapproving Mothers thought that the motorcycle sent a bad message to children and forced PBS to replace it with a tricycle. True fact!
Did you know that the entire story of Josephine the Short-Necked Giraffe was completely animated in one of the earliest known uses of CGI in television history? True fact!
Did you know that the song, "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" was originally a lively polka number? In the early seasons, before the show became wildly popular, Mr. Rogers and Mr McFeely would enter the house together, playing an accordion and a tuba, and they would sing and dance for about ten minutes every episode. True fact!
Did you know that Picture Picture was actually an iPad from the future, given to Mr. Rogers by Steve Jobs' great, great, great grandson who invented the first working time machine? It functions similar to the magic mirror in Beauty and the Beast. True fact!
Did you know that, contrary to popular belief, Mr. Rogers was NOT a Presbyterian? He absolutely hated the taste of Presbyteries, and wouldn't even dream of eating one. He much preferred the the subtle, earthy flavors of Agraries, and the humble flavors of a good Proletary. On occasion he would treat himself to a well-aged Octogenary, paired with a full, robust Totalitary. True fact!
Did you know that Mr. McFeely's middle name was Gladys? He never told a single person other than Mr. Rogers because he knew that Mr. Rogers, being the kind, gentle soul that he was, was the only person on earth that wouldn't laugh at him. True fact!