Friday, April 12, 2013


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Did you know that there are no such things as manatees? They are actually a legendary creature invented by hippos, in much the same way that mermaids were invented by lovesick sailors. True fact!

Did you know that Rubber Duckies are actually real live animals? The squeak made when they are squeezed is actually a terrified scream of anguish. True fact!

Did you know that there is a McDonald's in Arkansas that is haunted by the ghosts of three giraffes and a Yeti? No one knows for sure what these spirits have against this establishment, but legend says that the giraffes may have come in for some McFlurries and then were kidnapped and later all served on sesame seed buns. The legend of the yeti says that he was discriminated against, and refused service. He later wandered out of town where he died of starvation. All four unfortunate creatures have been haunting the restaurant ever since. True fact!

Did you know that sloths are a breed of monkey? They are the laziest, smelliest, red-neck-inest monkeys in the entire world. They only eat leftover fast food, and they never bathe. They are so disgusting that their entire body goes moldy, even though they are still alive. True fact!

Did you know that tacos were invented by the ancient Greeks? True fact!

Did you know that UFOs are the ghosts of dead Frisbees? True fact!

Did you know the the footwear, clogs, got their name when a small child flushed one down a toilet? True Fact!

Did you know that sea lions are really genetically engineered dog/fish hybrids? True fact!

Did you know there there is an island in the middle of the pacific ocean where Styrofoam peanuts are considered a delicacy? True fact!

Did you know that the Keebler elves don't actually make the cookies? They used to, but they outsource to Chinese elves now. True fact!

Did you know that Corn's real name is Plarpis? The name was deemed to be offensive in 1897 by the Official US Board of Overprotective Mothers Against Potty Words who got the name banned and replaced with "Corn." True fact!

Did you know that Elvis is the origin of almost every Bigfoot sighting in Colorado? After his falsely reported death, he went crazy, moved into the forest, and never shaved or wore clothing again. Now no one can tell the difference between him and a giant ape. True fact!

Did you know that the legend of fairies came to be in 1751 when a little girl named Zora Kiplingburg saw a butterfly kidnapping an elf and thought it was a tiny person with wings? True fact!

Did you know that spray cheese is really just old, rotten Reddi-Wip? True fact!

Did you know that toasters were invented by a kitten named Doris? True fact!

Did you know that an LA woman named her child Velveeta because she loved cheese dip more than anything else in the world? True fact!

Did you know that balloons are the eggs of the elusive explosive invisible albatross? True fact!

Did you know that unlike other birds, you can assist the baby elusive explosive invisible albatross while it's hatching by poking its egg with a sharp object? True fact!

Did you know that the feathered boa is the most endangered species of snake in the entire world? It was almost hunted to extinction in the 1970's by rich, elderly socialites, Vegas showgirls, and drag queens. True fact!

Did you know that hillbillies in the south believe in a mysterious race of underground creatures that only emerge during holidays to steal gravy? They call them the Gargling Gravy Goblins, and they do exactly as their name suggests. Before every holiday meal, the family's youngest child is sent outside with a bowl of gravy as an offering to appease the Great Goblin Governor so that all the Guerrilla Goblin Guards will not break into their home and grab all their gravy. True fact!

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