Sunday, July 22, 2012

Yes, That's a Tractor Parade

Warning, even though today's post is about the fair and the parade, it is also about relieving my build-up of snark. If you judge the photography show at the fair, are a Shriner, wear a creepy puppet mask, or ride a firetruck in the parade, you might want to leave now. I am not very nice to you. :p

So the fair is over. Actually it's been over for a week, it just took me that long to recover emotionally from the stinging blows dealt by the cruel, merciless judges. Not really. I could care less what those half-wits have to say. Half the time they don't even know how to spell. If their opinion was worth anything they'd be judging an art show in New York instead of a county fair in the middle of nowhere in a land of cornfields.

I did not do well at the fair, but I'm not really that upset about it. The people that matter think my pictures are great. I did win 3rd place on my picture of the two Barn Swallows, but they didn't bother to give me a ribbon, so I spent the entire fair thinking I didn't win anything.

If you'd like a reminder of which pictures I entered, you can click HERE.

The judges did not have much to say in the way of nice comments. If I could sum up their thoughts about all of the pictures it would be, "Center everything and only use black mat-board." They thought that the beanie baby picture should have been zoomed out to show they whole body of the "Dead" dinosaur, and they thought that I should have zoomed in and completely cropped the sky out of the firework picture. The only criticism I agreed with was the one they gave to the picture of the girl and the giraffe, which was that it was slightly blurry. I knew that, and I didn't expect to win anything with that one, I just liked it, and I didn't have any other good pictures to enter in the "People" category.

Now onto the "Crazy" criticism. The seahorse. I entered it under miscellaneous. They told me that I put it in the wrong category. Miscellaneous could be anything, so why they were upset by the sea horse is beyond me. I suppose I could have understood if they felt it should have been in the animals and birds category, even though I think it is incredibly stupid that the category is animals AND birds. (Not Fish) They need to have separate categories for animals, birds, fish, etc. And don't get me started on how stupid it is that they put the insects in the same category as plants and flowers.

ANYway... They did not say that the seahorse should have been categorized as an animal photograph, they said it should have been with the PLANTS! *Face-palm**Face-palm**Face-palm* Plus, they said that it needed to be a close-up of the seahorse. First of all, if I had wanted it to be a close-up, it would have been a close-up. It was a picture of a dwarf seahorse, and I wanted it to look small, besides, in the print I made, it was THREE TIMES the size it was in real life.

Anyway, I think I should move on before I develop high blood pressure. :p

I did not spend much time at the fair, there is never anything new, it's basically the same fair every single year. The most time I spent at the fair wasn't even AT the fair, it was watching the parade in town.

Yes, this about sums up your average parade in Iowa. :p

Cue the horror movie music. Mr. Creepy, purple, dead-eyes shows up every year. What in the name of burnt meatloaf and rice pudding this thing has to do with the hospital is beyond me. It's just an embarrassment is what it is.

Awe, look at the adorable little cult! It's like the 7 dwarves traded in their diamond mine for a secret society, clown cars, and fezzes.

And the most annoying part of the entire parade. The screaming emergency vehicles full of people who want nothing more than to blow the ear-drums out of your head, and the firetrucks, which are full of rotten little children (And adults with the mentality of children) who are armed with squirt guns and hoses and mercilessly soak the crowds who just wanted to watch a parade in peace.

And now we come to the good part. The snarkiness is over. :)

I love horses. :)

And Cowgirls on horses. :)

The parade is probably the best part of the fair, so if I see anything of the fair I usually try to at least make it to the parade. Though, they could make it 100 times better if they replaced the firetrucks, police cars, and anything else that's annoying with a few more horses. Actually, just make the parade all horses. I'd be ok with that. :)

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