Today at work I was on the express lane and I was approached by what appeared to be a harmless little old lady. She plopped down three of the biggest sized boxes of Rice Krispies we carry.
"Can you make sure these ring up at 6 for $10? The ad says up to 18 ounces, and these are 18 ounces."
I scanned one and it rang up at $4.50.
"No, that's wrong." she said. "I looked at the ad and it says that all Kellogg's cereal is 6 for $10 for boxes up to 18 ounces."
Seeing that this woman was obviously going to be a problem, I called my manager over. Thankfully the manager at the time was Julie, one of our most "No Nonsense" managers. I knew she wouldn't let this lady get by with any shenanigans.
"This is the wrong size." Julie politely explained, and gestured toward the end of aisle 6. "We have a display on the end cap over here of the cereals in the ad."
"Well, the ad says up to 18 ounces, and these are 18 ounces!"
"Let's go look at the display, ma'am. We'll see what the price is on the shelf."
And she led the woman away.
While they were gone, I flipped through one of our flyers. The ad in question read
"Kellogg's cereals, Selected Varieties, 9 - 18 ounces."On the end cap, and pictured in the ad, were the 9 ounce boxes of Rice Krispies. Also on display was the new cereal Krave, and 18 ounce boxes of Corn Flakes. These were the three "Selected Varieties" from the ad.
On the shelf in the cereal aisle, the 18 ounce box of Rice Krispies was marked with a large sign, quite clearly at $4.50, while the 9 ounce box had a large ON SALE sign marking it at 6 for $10.
Because the woman had to have gotten the boxes from the shelf where they were unmistakeably marked, she obviously knew that the 18 ounce boxes were not on sale, and had come to my line with the direct intent of causing a problem and getting twice as much cereal for free.
After a few minutes I saw the woman sulkily pushing her cart out of the cereal aisle with the 9 ounce boxes in it. She pushed her cart up to the counter and thumped down the boxes. "You should have given me those boxes for 6 for $10! The ad says up to 18 ounces!"
"I'm sorry, ma'am." I told her. "I can't make that call."
"We'll it was your mistake, and that ad is misleading. I should get them for that price."
"I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to do that."
"Well that price is wrong. They should be 6 for $10, and actually, you should have given them to me for free! They rang up wrong and you're supposed to give me anything that rings up wrong for free!"
"Well, I'm sorry but I don't have the authority to do that."
She continued to complain and insist that we were being dishonest throughout the entire transaction. It took every ounce of self control I had to keep the voice in my head from coming out and asking her if she would like some diapers and a pacifier, because she was behaving like a pathetic little baby. (Actually, the voice in my head asked if she wanted nappies and a nuki. The voice in my head is kind of British.)
She was barely silent long enough for me to smile and tell her to "Have a nice day."
"Hmmf. Well, I'll try." she replied, grumpily, stomping away.
You know how when you're at work, and you have to be polite to people no matter how rude they are? Does the voice in your head tell you what you SHOULD have said, over and over, getting more and more clever the longer you let it go on? Mine does, and it was quite active today. The diaper crack was just the tip of the iceburg. I had the rest of the afternoon to rewrite the encounter with the grumpy old woman.
Instead of a grumpy old woman, in my head, she's a crabby old hag who stomps out of the cereal aisle in a huff, and angrily slams the boxes onto my counter. Well, actually, it's more like she "Thuds" the boxes onto my counter. She's not very strong.
"You should have given me those boxes for 6 for $10! The ad says up to 18 ounces!"
"Actually ma'am, the ad clearly reads that this sale is for 'Selected varieties'. The box pictured, as well as the box on the display, clearly shows that the variety selected, was the 9 ounce box. If you had half the brain of a watermelon, you would have been able to figure that out for yourself."
"Well it was your mistake, and that ad is misleading! I should get them for that price!"
"I'm sorry, my mistake? You're the one who believes that 'Selected Varieties' means 'Every single box of cereal manufactured by Kellogg's.' I really don't understand how this is anyone's mistake but your own."
"Well that price is wrong! They should be 6 for $10, and actually, you should have given them to me for free! They rang up wrong and you're supposed to give me anything that rings up wrong for free!"
"No, actually, the policy states quite clearly that 'If the shelf price is different than the price at the register, you get the item for free.' The price on my register is exactly the same as the price on the shelf. Therefore, you do not get it for free. The only place the price is wrong is inside your ancient, wrinkly, little head.
At this point, the old lady in my imagination brains me over the head with her purse, which she has filled with bricks, knocking me to the floor. Then she throws all the cereal at me, and marches out of the store in a flurry of angry exclamations, while I lie on the floor laughing hysterically.
As you can see, the voice in my head isn't quite as well mannered as I am in real life. :p