TRUE FACTS ABOUT LADY GAGA!

A few days ago, for some bizarre reason, I just kept thinking up "True Facts!" about Lady Gaga. My "True facts!" are so random and strange, that making up a bunch about Lady Gaga, the queen of random and strange, just seemed like a perfect match. I ended up with so many facts about her that instead of having them be part of my regular "True Facts!" series, I decided to make them into a completely separate post. As with all my "True Facts!" they are anything but true, though Lady Gaga is such an eccentric, that you never know - some of them might be! :p

Did you know that Lady Gaga's father was President of the Lollipop Guild of the land of Oz? True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga's mother was a mermaid immigrant to Oz from Neverland? True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga was born in Narnia? After her father's presidency ended, her parents moved to Narnia to settle down and raise a family. Her mother laid the egg containing Baby Gaga soon afterward. True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga came to America through a Narnian portal that led out of an IKEA cabinet? True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga rides a unicorn named Glitter Lipstick to work? True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga once made a dress out of saltine crackers? Once it started raining she realized she had made a huge mistake and decided to change into her pantsuit made of cheese. True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga has a pet porcupine named David that she wears as a hat? True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga was once mistaken for a piece of modern art at a county fair and was awarded best in show? True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga holds twenty three Olympic gold medals for swimming? She gets it from her mother's side of the family. True fact!

Did you know that a farmer once mistook Lady Gaga for a space alien? True fact!

Did you know that a space alien once mistook Lady Gaga for his mother-ship? True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga has a pet cat named Cinnamon Sticks? She dresses him in a sweater that is made from cinnamon sticks. True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga owns a pygmy marmoset named Buttered Toast With Jam? Buttered Toast With Jam dresses like a jockey and rides Cinnamon Sticks like a tiny pony. True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga only eats birthday cake and moonlight? True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga vacations in Wonderland and owns several Jabberwockys? True fact!

Did you know that the Queen of Hearts officially decreed that all of Wonderland fashion should be based on Lady Gaga designs? True fact!

Did you know that even though Mars is officially a Democracy, they still named Lady Gaga their Martian Queen? True fact!

Did you know that Lady Gaga has 12 children? Well, they're not really children, they're 9 doves, 2 goats, and an emu, but she calls them her children. True fact!

Did you know there is a small tribe in Africa that prays to the gods for protection from Lady Gaga? They think that she's the queen of a robot army from the future, come to destroy humanity. True fact!

Did you know that the Blue Fairy is Lady Gaga's aunt? Since the Blue Fairy doesn't have any kids of her own, when she retires to a condo in Florida, Lady Gaga will inherit her wings and wand. She'll then go to live inside the wishing star, returning every night to grant the wishes of little old men who live alone and make puppets. True fact!

Art and Sports

I have never liked Sports. I have never really known why, they simply do not interest me. I am much more into things that engage me emotionally and intellectually. Things that amaze me, or just make me laugh.

Recently the YouTuber Devin Graham posted a video that got me to thinking about sports in a different way.



At the end he linked to two more of his videos that I had seen before, but I had not given them as much thought as I had seeing them all at once.





Watching them all together made me really examine why I didn't like sports, because these video are sports videos, but I thoroughly enjoyed all of them.

I've come to the conclusion that I do not like organized sports because of the forced rivalries, and the manufactured hatred that the teams impose upon their players and fans. (No, not every sports fan or player is hateful, but there are a LOT that are.)

Devin Graham's videos showcase people who enjoy sports outside of the rivalries and multi-million dollar paychecks. The people in his videos are doing things that they love to do and it shows. It reminded me of a quote that I loved from the movie Speed Racer. Speed's mother is telling him why she goes to the races, even though it scares her to watch him risk his life.

"Speed, when I watch you do some of the things you do....I feel like I'm watching someone paint or make music. I go to the races to watch you make art. And it's beautiful... and inspiring... and everything that art should be."

I have come to the conclusion that I do not hate sports, I just don't like competitive sports. I like watching people play sports when they are doing it for the joy of it.

To paraphrase Mom Racer, Watching people doing what they love to do is beautiful and inspiring and it's everything that sports should be.

Apparently I'm Heartless

I am a heartless human being.

Today I saw a post on facebook. It was a poem that claimed to be a true story. It was about a boy who was beaten by his parents. The poem was written in the first person perspective. The boy told how he was locked up at home alone, and that his face was so swollen he couldn't see. He goes on and on about how he doesn't know what he did wrong, but he'll try to be good so he will only get one beating when his mother comes home. Toward the end of poem he claims that his father comes home, blames him for all his problems, throws him against a wall and kills him. Then he tells you to share his story and if you don't he'll pray for you because you would have to be a heartless person to not share it.

Fine. Pray for me, dead kid. I'm heartless.

I could care less about a fictional kid who pretends to be real. I am so tired of facebook posts and e-mails that try to emotionally manipulate you into spreading them.

I'm sick of being told that I hate God because I didn't pass on a sappy e-mailed poem. I'm sick of being told I have no respect for a kid with cancer because I didn't spam my friend's Facebook walls with his story. I'm sick of all the posts from all the mindless sheep who repost all this fake garbage just because they're told to, and that they are an uncaring, God-hating, heathen if they don't.

Last I checked, God didn't judge you on how many poems about him you shared with all your Facebook friends. Last I checked, e-mailing everyone you know a picture of a kid with cancer didn't make you a caring person.

Here's an idea. You want to be a caring person AND show God you love Him? Find a REAL kid with cancer and do something for him. Pay some of his bills, buy him a book, be a friend to him. Then tell NO ONE about it. Don't post one scrap of information about anything you do on Facebook.

These e-mails and posts on Facebook are worthless. The only purpose of any of them is so that people can prove what a "Great Christian" they are, and how caring they are, to a bunch of "Friends" who don't even care about them. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. Just be a good person and forget about what anyone else thinks. The only people who matter are you, God, and whoever you helped.

TRUE FACTS! 3!

Did you know that there are no such things as manatees? They are actually a legendary creature invented by hippos, in much the same way that mermaids were invented by lovesick sailors. True fact!

Did you know that Rubber Duckies are actually real live animals? The squeak made when they are squeezed is actually a terrified scream of anguish. True fact!

Did you know that there is a McDonald's in Arkansas that is haunted by the ghosts of three giraffes and a Yeti? No one knows for sure what these spirits have against this establishment, but legend says that the giraffes may have come in for some McFlurries and then were kidnapped and later all served on sesame seed buns. The legend of the yeti says that he was discriminated against, and refused service. He later wandered out of town where he died of starvation. All four unfortunate creatures have been haunting the restaurant ever since. True fact!

Did you know that sloths are a breed of monkey? They are the laziest, smelliest, red-neck-inest monkeys in the entire world. They only eat leftover fast food, and they never bathe. They are so disgusting that their entire body goes moldy, even though they are still alive. True fact!

Did you know that tacos were invented by the ancient Greeks? True fact!

Did you know that UFOs are the ghosts of dead Frisbees? True fact!

Did you know the the footwear, clogs, got their name when a small child flushed one down a toilet? True Fact!

Did you know that sea lions are really genetically engineered dog/fish hybrids? True fact!

Did you know there there is an island in the middle of the pacific ocean where Styrofoam peanuts are considered a delicacy? True fact!

Did you know that the Keebler elves don't actually make the cookies? They used to, but they outsource to Chinese elves now. True fact!

Did you know that Corn's real name is Plarpis? The name was deemed to be offensive in 1897 by the Official US Board of Overprotective Mothers Against Potty Words who got the name banned and replaced with "Corn." True fact!

Did you know that Elvis is the origin of almost every Bigfoot sighting in Colorado? After his falsely reported death, he went crazy, moved into the forest, and never shaved or wore clothing again. Now no one can tell the difference between him and a giant ape. True fact!

Did you know that the legend of fairies came to be in 1751 when a little girl named Zora Kiplingburg saw a butterfly kidnapping an elf and thought it was a tiny person with wings? True fact!

Did you know that spray cheese is really just old, rotten Reddi-Wip? True fact!

Did you know that toasters were invented by a kitten named Doris? True fact!

Did you know that an LA woman named her child Velveeta because she loved cheese dip more than anything else in the world? True fact!

Did you know that balloons are the eggs of the elusive explosive invisible albatross? True fact!

Did you know that unlike other birds, you can assist the baby elusive explosive invisible albatross while it's hatching by poking its egg with a sharp object? True fact!

Did you know that the feathered boa is the most endangered species of snake in the entire world? It was almost hunted to extinction in the 1970's by rich, elderly socialites, Vegas showgirls, and drag queens. True fact!

Did you know that hillbillies in the south believe in a mysterious race of underground creatures that only emerge during holidays to steal gravy? They call them the Gargling Gravy Goblins, and they do exactly as their name suggests. Before every holiday meal, the family's youngest child is sent outside with a bowl of gravy as an offering to appease the Great Goblin Governor so that all the Guerrilla Goblin Guards will not break into their home and grab all their gravy. True fact!

Video Blitz

I have seen a whole bunch of great videos recently, and I wanted to compile them into one blog post to share them all. Because they are awesome. Enjoy. :)

The first video is from MysteryGuitarMan. He was the first YouTuber I ever followed, it was because of him that I discovered a wealth of independent talent on YouTube. This video is one of his best in a long time. For anyone interested, all the clips that are featured in the video are from other YouTubers.



The next video is another one that just made me laugh. A guy doing a Gollum impression covering a Taylor Swift song. You just need to watch it. :p



I hear this song every day at the store where I work, and I have to say, I like this version so much better. :D

The next video is a dance video. It is amazing. Watch it.



Next is an ad for Dennys. Why would I like a video from Denny's so much? It was made by Rhett and Link, and it is hilarious!



The next one is a sequel to the last one, and is just as funny.



This next one is a time lapse video of Riga, Latvia. I love time lapse videos in general, but this one seems especially unique to me. I really like it.



This last video I am sharing because it made me laugh harder than anything I've seen in a very long time. Seriously. I was in stitches the entire time. I have rewatched this so many times now, I have lost count. :D

If I Were a Troll... 3

Sometimes I feel like being a troll. But since I would never actually troll people, I get it out of my system here.

is my creaatibe seawing ok to lob to my draft *winks* oh and my spealllling

Good. Gravy. Are you mixing medications again?


just bare with him

Um... No.


sinkholes are always mancaused. they always come from some kind of contruction or deterioration of the ground

I have a tiny piece of friendly advice for you: Look up sinkholes before commenting like an ignoramus...


hello program for the computer to delete and re-installed it, but the option in the game is not doing the game to scroll to the emergence of what should I do wonder please help.

I'm sorry, but I believe you may be beyond help. Your best bet is to find yourself a good mental care facility that can adequately attend to a person in your condition.


it was just the dummerest thing i could think of at the moment.

Really? The word "Dummerest" is the dummerest thing I can think of at this moment.


Why spell check tell me tounge spelt wrong?!

Hmmmm... I don't know... This is quite a mystery... Perhaps it's because YOU SPELLED IT WRONG!


your voice awesome your stuffs change evertying

If your voice is anything like your typing, it is most decidedly NOT awesome.


you should do a cooking channel, so you tech us how to cook

You don't need to learn how to cook, you need to learn how to spell and construct proper sentences.


oh no he change ugly

Oh no! You change stupid!


I tink Blujay should sooooo be on ta list

And I 'tink' you need some help.


Ripple for a boy is also a unique name. My baby is due in Dec. and we have decided on Ripple Journey.

Poor Ripple. You'd better stock up now on wedgie rash cream. And start him early on techniques for holding his breath during swirlies.


.LOL My opps!

Yeah, your opps is right. Your whole sentence is one big opps.


This looks like an kid tv sow well baby tv show

This looks like an kid comment, well, baby comment.


HEY AMERICANS,EXSIST IN USA NORMAL,GOOD,HUMAN MAN.THIS MAN WANT ARMED SYRIAN OPOSITION.ONE DAY ALL THINKS RETURN LIKE BUMERANG IN USA.USA NEED SOCIALIST REVOLUTION

Ooookaaaay... I do believe that someone is off his meds...


Libby has a crepy lagh

You have a crepy spelig


you're so cook

What is this, some kind of an insult? You take that back you vicious troll!


I think Dawin did that. he ate lods of diferant animals

I think you did too. Poisonous ones. Their neurotoxins seem to have destroyed most of your brain functionality.


WOP WOP WOP WOP

What? Are you having a fit?


he died because he was old i feel so sorry for him R.I.P

C'est la vie, Circle'a'life. Just hope that you get to die from "Being old" too, and not from the far more likely cause, "Being to dumb to continue being alive."


my parints ar ded :'( rt if yu crie evrytiem

Really? Your parents are dead? Are you sure they didn't just fake it to escape you? Boom. Yeah. I just trolled the troll. Deal with it.

A Twist Ending: 3!

Week after week he came into the store, spreading nausea to all he passed. Displays of flowers wilted, turning black and crumbling away as he walked by. Milk curdled, cheese spoiled, and half and half repackaged itself as sour cream. The checker’s heartbeats quickened and their eyes took on a look of panic as they saw him coming. It was the man who never bathed!

I've never done an intro like this before, but the above paragraph didn't fit into the story the way I wanted it to, and I couldn't let it go to waste. :)

For this installment of "A Twist Ending," I decided to do something a little different. The offending person was not rude in the normal sense, so I didn't feel the need to kill him off. But he did need... Something... This story is all true, at least, the first two paragraphs are. As before, I have limited myself to 200 words or less. This time I ended with 199.

~

Slowly the man approached my register and set his groceries on the belt. I did my best not to audibly gag at the stench. He reeked of body oder and cigarettes. It was the same every week. My coworkers and I were positive that he never bathed or changed his clothes.

I tried to hold my breath as I processed his order, but he couldn’t figure out the credit card machine, and I had to take a ragged breath. Another coworker helped him finish and we breathed a sigh of relief as he slowly shuffled out of the store.

As the man plodded through the parking lot, a passing tanker of body wash crashed into a circus semi, and careened down the embankment into the parking lot. It hit the cement and burst like a giant balloon, sending forth a tidal wave of soap, carrying the man across the lot, covering him in a thick layer of Ocean Breeze. Meanwhile a herd of elephants stamped from the circus trailer and raced toward the man, blasting him with high pressure streams of water from their trunks. In less than a minute the man was sparkling clean, and he smelled glorious.

Facebook Friends #10

New character overload! Normally if I come up with new characters I just introduce one or two at a time, but not today! I am introducing six new regular characters all in one post! Plus, I've decided that a few of my characters are going to get in on the This-isn't-Twitter-but-we're-doing-it-anyway, hash-tag craze. Enjoy!

Joyful Exclamations
Such a beautiful day!

Elda Exclamations OH YES IT IS DEARIE! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! 

Flower Child
The karmic spectrum has aligned my celestial aura! Peace to all the world this day!
Crystal Moonflower Likes this


Ima Bean
Holy Carbuncles! It's raining Christmas!!!!
Lurking Liker Likes this

Joyful Exclamations It's snowing? Awesome!

Lorenzo Literate Wow... You can speak the language of Bean? It's like you have super powers!

Joyful Exclamations I guess I'm just gifted like that. :)

Crazy Uncle I'm glad I don't have "Holy Carbuncles!" BAHAHAHA!

Mitch Morebuff
Totally workin' on my glutes today. Gonna be struttin' my stuff in the tightest of gym shorts later.
Annabell Aerobacize Likes this

T. M. Info Wow. TMI, my friend, T. M. I.

Lorenzo Literate TMI? Really? This from the guy who posted extreme close up pictures of his bacne outbreak yesterday? Can we say hypocritical?

T. M. Info Oh yeah! Speaking of glutes, guess what part of the body I had that outbreak on. Not all bacne is on the back you know!

Lorenzo Literate HURK! I think I need to go retroactively bleach my eyeballs...

Ferdie Foodie
I'm in a rut. I've eaten at McRonalds for the last twenty seven days. Not that I don't enjoy all the wonderful hydrogenated deliciousness, but I think I need a change of pace. Anyone have any suggestions? Mom, you're not allowed to comment!

Leia Organic Why not switch to an organic diet instead of eating out? It would probably save your life. From the sounds of your status, you're probably only a few days away from a heart attack!

Griffin Granola Dude, don't just stop at organic, you need to go completely vegan.

Ferdie Foodie Mom! What'd you do, make up some fake accounts to try to get me to give up my cheeseburgers? I should never accept friend requests from strangers!

Fiona Foodie It's not me, but you should listen to them! I want grandkids someday!

Ferdie Foodie Good grief, mom! I'm going to Burger Queen.

Gretta Granola Need some help planning his funeral, Mrs. Foodie? I know of a very affordable, all-natural funeral home. They're completely environmentally friendly because they only use 100% organic, recycled cardboard coffins!

Crazy Uncle Wow. And they call me crazy!

BB Tween
OMZ!!!!! ONE REFLECTION IS PERFORMING AT THE STAPLER CENTER THIS WEEK!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! #tooexcitedforwords

Whiney McDramaPants I wish I could go!!!

Marty McMacho More like One INFECTION you mean!

Izzy Illiterate yah bb is inffected wit luvv!!!

Marty McMacho No, I mean they're all sick!!! They're a bunch of no talent girly-boys!

Vaguely McDramaPants Uh oh, Marty, your jealousy is showing.

Marty McMacho Im not jealous! Their jelous of me!

Vaguely McDramaPants Yeah, right. They don't have a clue who you are.

Marty McMacho Wel if they did theyd be jelous!! i could totaly beat them alll up in a fight!!!

BB Tween If you're not jealous, then why are you typing so bad? I think you're typing too fast because you secretly love them, and don't want anyone to know what a HUGE fan you are!!! :D

Marty McMacho SHUT UP I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vaguely McDramaPants BAM! Nailed it, BB! :D

Marty McMacho SHE DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!!

BB Tween Mwahahahaha.... >:D

Marty McMacho I DO NOT!!!!!

Vaguely McDramaPants Why so defensive Marty?

Marty McMacho I AM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!

BB Tween Why are you so defensive about your defensiveness, Marty?

Marty McMacho I AM NOT DEFENSIVE!!!!!!!!

Vaguely McDramaPants Sure, sure. Whatever you have to tell yourself. ;)

Marty McMacho I AM LEAVING!!!!

BB Tween Bye Marty! I'll see you at the concert! :D

Marty McMacho NO YOU WONT!!!!!

Lurking Liker This whole thing was awesome. :D!
Vaguely McDramaPants Like this

Gladys Grizzle
What is up with all these kids with saggy pants?! I wish I were 60 years younger so I could go yank these wannabe-thug's pants up for them! I'd pull them up so far they'd get such a wedgie their pants would never fall down again!
Lurking Liker Like this

Crazy Uncle No need for all that. Just walk right up to them in public and loudly tell them it looks like their diaper is full, and ask them if they need a change! That'll make them pull their own pants up!

Lurking Liker Likes this

Gladys Grizzle That's a kick-awesome idea, Sonny! :D

Joy Lyrical
"A dream, is a wish, your heart makes!
Ice cream, is a dish, your mom makes!"
~ FamousParodySinger


Gloom Lyrical
"A dream is a wish your heart makes.
A nightmare is a wish that I make."
~ FamousMetalScreamer

Joy Lyrical Wow, dark much?

Betsy Etsy
Check out my latest artwork! You can buy it now for only $75.00!
I call it: "Tranquility: Barn Wood With Rusty Nails."

Lorenzo Literate Wow. No words.

Izzy Illitrerate OMZ!!! i's beatifull!!! it jusy maks me fell so emoshunal!!!!

Lorenzo Literate I have no words for that either.

Vaguely McDramaPants
Whatever you have to tell yourself dude, whatever you have to tell yourself. #Shutyourmouth

Nosey Nellie What's happening?

Vaguely McDramaPants Oh, nothing, just some guy trying to justify himself.

Nosey Nellie Who is he? Txt me!

Mamma Frazzled
The ceiling is dripping... A florescent blue liquid...

Aunty Uncle So what was it?

Joyful Exclamations Yeah! Don't leave us in suspense!

Mamma Frazzled It was toilet bowl cleaner. For some reason they hauled every bottle I had in the house upstairs, and were squirting them all into a crack in the floor!

Aunty Uncle Oh, I am so sorry. Just so you know, I've already forbidden my husband from laughing.

Crazy Uncle MMMFFPH!!! >SNIRK!< PFFFFT BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Aunty Uncle Craig!!!! Prepare your couch-bed!!!!

Leia Organic
You wouldn't believe how bad pasteurized milk is for your body! Fresh milk is so much better for you, but it is illegal to sell milk straight from the cow! How messed up is that?

Connie Conspiracy The Illuminary are trying to poison the population with pasteurized milk! They're using government propaganda to trick people into believing it's healthy, and they're restricting access to foods that actually are healthy!

Flower Child Fight the power, Connie! Fight the power!

Gretta Granola Why not just go vegan? Fresh fruits and vegetables are so much better for you than dairy products! Humans were never meant to drink the milk of other animals!

Leia Organic Sorry, Gretta. I Cheese too much! ;)

Lori Luvvie
Why does everything bad happen to my little Sugar-Pea? Tonight was supposed to be date night!

Izzy Illiterate were is he?

Lori Luvvie He's sick. He was testing a experimental diaper rash cream for Happy Heinie Toddle Creams and it didn't work. :(

Izzy Illiterate wut? he dosnt hav dipers hows he get diperash?

David Duvvie You don't want to know.

Grammie Happy
Just went into the guest bathroom to get it ready for company this weekend and I found the toilet completely full of Speed Wheels Cars. It made me miss my grandbabies. They haven't been over here all week!

Gladys Grizzle I'd count my blessings if I were you. That's a week free of disasters if you ask me.

Grammie Happy But they're always such fun and exciting disasters!

Gladys Grizzle I think this counts as Stockholm Syndrome.
Lurking Liker Like this

Hippie Critical
Eating out is so unhealthy! Why not make your own food at home? SOOOO much better for you, and you save so much money! #wakeuppeople

Rainbow Sunshine Hey Hippie! It was so fun running into you at the Pizza Plate yesterday! It'd been way too long since we last talked! We should get together again soon!

Lorenzo Literate Well, this isn't awkward at all...

R.W. Republicrazy
These Liberal politicians have to be stopped! They're trying to force us to register our guns! If they get their way you know the government is just going to sell our names to Mexico!

Connie Conspiracy Really? That's not surprising at all! The Illuminary want the list too! As soon as it hits the internet we're all in huge trouble!

Rabid Liberal They're not going to sell your names. They're going to use your names to hunt you down after you go on a killing spree!

R.W. Republicrazy We don't kill people, only the criminals kill people! And they won't register their guns! Duh! They're criminals!

Rabid Liberal Yeah right. All you gun nuts are crazy. You're just ticking times bombs waiting to go off!

R.W. Republicrazy I'm going to go off on you!

Rabid Liberal Is that a threat? I'm going to print this out so if I turn up dead, police will find this and know who's responsible!

Indie Pendant Good grief you two. Grow up! I know I'm going to regret asking this, but what danger does it pose to you personally if the government, either yours or Mexico's, knows if you own a gun?

R.W. Republicrazy All the legal gun owners automatically become targets!

Indie Pendant So? They're not taking your guns. Why would they need to come after you?

Connie Conspiracy They'll round us up and put us in concentration camps! We have guns, so they know we're a threat!

Indie Pendant Wow. That is so ridiculous I don't even know where to start.

R.W. Republicrazy I don't know about concentration camps, but it wouldn't surprise me. I'm more worried about the Mexican drug lords. As soon as they get our names, we're dead!

Indie Pendant Ok, even if that were just slightly possible, why would they come after all the gun owners in the US? That's just insane! You guys HAVE GUNS. Why would they purposely put themselves in that kind of danger?

R.W. Republicazy Because they're evil! Why else?

Indie Pendant Once again I'm just going to have to give up. You can't talk sense into the senseless.

Connie Conspiracy You'll see! Once the Illuminary get you, you'll see I was right all along!

G.O. Pachyderm I feel ashamed that these are the kind of people that the country associates with my party.

Roxy Repost

Lurking Liker Like this


Ima Bean
Dumpling Pie makes the kids go happy!

Lorenzo Literate Wow... Joyful Exclamations, can you provide a translation?

Joyful Exclamations Um... I don't think so...

Lorenzo Literate Well, so much for that super power.

Flower Child
Peace and love, Starchildren!
Echo DolphinWaves Likes this

U Spel bad 11

Adorble

This misspelling made me think of an ADORABLE little kid ducking under the water and blowing bubbles. Yeah, I'm just a weirdo... :p


Pireods

This is just sad. (PERIODS)


Theoretecly

THEORETICALLY, education should have prevented a mistake like this.


Suffer

*Shakes Head* (SURFER)


Robits

Well it's obvious that ROBOTS didn't write this.


Munth

Sometimes I wonder if people spell badly on purpose, or if it's a joke... (MONTH)


Boldness

Sadly, they were going for BALDNESS.


Seagels

Seriously? Are you for real? (SEAGULLS)


Creaatibe

Are you trying to be CREATIVE with your spelling? If so, please stop.


Seawing

No wonder your spelling teacher was always SWEARING under her breath.


Spealllling

Your SPELLING makes teachers everywhere sob in despair...


Cythia

So, is this the name of some sort of female Sith Lord? (CYNTHIA)


Brund

Apparently you BURNED your spelling books as a child.


Acsed

No one would ever know that this was supposed to have been ACID.


Vaulenteering

Will anyone be VOLUNTEERING to help this guy with his spelling? Anyone?


Cirtainly

Well, I CERTAINLY am not.


Anyboby

ANYBODY will tell you that you did NOT spell ANYBODY right.


Morth

Your MOTHER would be so ashamed.


Regerster

Sometimes the internet's collective stupidity just astounds me. (REGISTER)


Vacatin

Ok, well, apparently you were vacatin' school when they were teaching how to spell VACATION.

TRUE FACTS ABOUT MR. ROGERS!

Watching the video about Mr Rogers that I recently shared got me to thinking about all myths surrounding Mr. Rogers that aren't true. Claims that he was a sniper in the army, that he had tattoos which he covered with his cardigans, the worst being that he actually hated kids.

All these fake stories about him reminded me of the inspiration for my original True facts! post, the lists of lies spread around facebook as truth. So I thought to myself, well, why don't I just make up a bunch of things about Mr. Rodgers too? I already write "True Facts" about all sorts of other things, why not Mr. Rogers? So I did. :)

Disclaimer: None of this is meant to make fun of, or belittle Mr. Rogers in any way. He was one of my favorite people when I was young, so this is my way of paying tribute to him. Yes, I know this is a weird, random way to pay tribute to a person, but I'm a weird random person myself. You knew that already.

If you watched Mr. Rogers as much as I did as a kid, you'll notice a lot of very obscure references to some really random things that most people wouldn't get. I had a lot of fun writing these! :)

 

Did you know that Mr. Rogers' real name was Frederic Roberto Luigi Alexander the Greatest? He thought the name was a little pretentious, so he shortened it to just Fred. True fact!

Did you know that Mr. Rodgers fish were not real? They were highly advanced robotic fish developed by the Sesame Street puppeteers, and planted in Mr. Rogers' home to spy on him in order to find out the secrets of his awesomeness. True fact!

Did you know that, in addition to being one of the top children's television hosts of all time, Mr. Rogers was also a crime-fighting ninja? Whenever he was alerted to danger in his neighborhood he would send Trolly to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe to distract the kids who were watching. Then he would quickly change into his black ninja sweater, sneakers, and mask, and stealthily hunt down the evil-doers, taking them out using only his wits and a pair of nun-chucks. True fact!

Did you know that Mr. Rogers was an expert ballet and break dancer? True fact!

Did you know that Mr. Rogers was a classically trained kazooist? True fact!

Did you know that Mr. McFeely was the leader of the only known tricycle gang in the US? True fact! 

Did you know that the Neighborhood of Make-Believe is actually a real city on a planet in the Cardigan Galaxy? The trolly gets there through a wormhole that is inside his tunnel. True fact!

Did you know that King Friday is in his second marriage? His first wife, The African Warrior Queen Zanobia Zimbabwe, disappeared in India during the tiger hunt that discovered the orphaned baby Daniel Striped Tiger. True fact!

Did you know that Lady Elaine Fairchilde and Handyman Negri were the lead singer/guitar players in a hair metal band called "The Scheming Screamers"? True fact!

Did you know that Planet Purple was created when Asteroid Azure slammed into Moon Maroon and fused into one large planet? True fact!

Did you know that the Purple Panda is actually an immigrant from China whose fur was tinted by the newly formed planet's amethyst atmosphere. True fact!

Did you know that the Platypus Family are actually all beavers? They wear duck bills because they are all in the Witness Protection Program, and need to keep their true identities a secret. True fact!

Did you know that Henrietta Pussycat and X the Owl, were secretly married? Such a scandalous interracial relationship would have been frowned upon in those days, so they decided it would be better to pretend that they were just neighbors. Mr. Rogers was the only person caring enough to accept them just as they were. True fact!

Did you know that X the Owl's real name is not X? No one, aside from Henrietta Pussycat, actually knows anything about X, let alone his real name. His entire life is shrouded in a dark cloak of mystery... True fact!

Did you know that Mr. McFeely used to deliver the mail by motorcycle? The Council of Disapproving Mothers thought that the motorcycle sent a bad message to children and forced PBS to replace it with a tricycle. True fact!

Did you know that the entire story of Josephine the Short-Necked Giraffe was completely animated in one of the earliest known uses of CGI in television history? True fact!

Did you know that the song, "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" was originally a lively polka number? In the early seasons, before the show became wildly popular, Mr. Rogers and Mr McFeely would enter the house together, playing an accordion and a tuba, and they would sing and dance for about ten minutes every episode. True fact!

Did you know that Picture Picture was actually an iPad from the future, given to Mr. Rogers by Steve Jobs' great, great, great grandson who invented the first working time machine? It functions similar to the magic mirror in Beauty and the Beast. True fact!

Did you know that, contrary to popular belief, Mr. Rogers was NOT a Presbyterian? He absolutely hated the taste of Presbyteries, and wouldn't even dream of eating one. He much preferred the the subtle, earthy flavors of Agraries, and the humble flavors of a good Proletary. On occasion he would treat himself to a well-aged Octogenary, paired with a full, robust Totalitary. True fact!

Did you know that Mr. McFeely's middle name was Gladys? He never told a single person other than Mr. Rogers because he knew that Mr. Rogers, being the kind, gentle soul that he was, was the only person on earth that wouldn't laugh at him. True fact!

Death of the Last Chimpanzee

Would anyone like to see the application video I sent in to Madame Leanne that impressed her so much, she offered me a full ride scholarship to her prestigious school of interpretive dance and basket-weaving? Well, too bad because: APRIL FOOL!!!

In case you missed yesterday's post, you may want to bring yourself up to speed by clicking HERE.

So, if you couldn't tell, that post was 100% fiction. I am not quitting my art education, I am not moving to Paris, and I am not taking up interpretive dance. Hopefully you were able to figure this out on your own. :)

I tried to make the story as unbelievable as possible, but I have done this in the past, and had people actually believe it. Two years ago I wrote a post claiming that I was dropping out of school and hitchhiking to New York to become a street mime. If you'd like to read that post you may find it HERE.

Sometime later, dad came home and said a family friend had asked how I was, and if he had heard from me recently. They had seen the first post, but not the follow up post the next day. I love that someone found my ridiculous story believable. :D Were any of you fooled? I hope not, but if you were, let me know! :)

Direction For the Future

As most of you know, I recently enrolled in Iowa State University to get my Bachelors of Art degree.
As some of you know, I have always wanted to learn how to dance.
As none of you know, the kind of dance that fascinates me most is interpretative dance.

To that end, I have decided to cancel my enrollment at ISU and move to Paris, France immediately to enroll at Madame Leanne's School of Interpretative Dance and Basket-Weaving. (Madame Leanne is a very eccentric teacher.) I sent in my application video last week and I got a reply from Madame Leanne herself within the hour. She said that I was a natural, and that the dance that I had choreographed and performed myself, entitled "Death of the Last Chimpanzee" was the most hauntingly beautiful thing she had ever seen in her entire life. She then offered me a full ride scholarship if I would only come and study under her tutelage. Personally, I think that she can sense my potential to be the most famous interpretive dancer in the entire world, and she really only wants to ride on my coat-tails to fame and fortune of her own, but I can't pass up the opportunity for a free education!

Anyway, I should get going for now. I have lots to do before I leave for Paris, and I'm working on my next original performance. I'm calling it "Dance of the Weeping Naked Mole Rat." It's gonna be an emotional punch in the gut! I'll post videos when I'm done! See you all when I get back from France!