Monday, February 7, 2011

My First Day Ever

In Comp 1 my first big assignment was to write a narrative of some first in my life. I misread it as an assignment to write about the first day of my life. I quickly reread it and realized that was not what it said, but it was too late. My brain had already begun to work out how I was going to write it. I wanted it to be as truthful as it could be. I had very limited knowledge of that day, but what I did know, I was going to put in there. I was delivered by C Section, I was born with red hair, which later fell out, and… Well, that’s all I know. The rest of it, well, that I completely made up. Smile with tongue out After writing for awhile I decided that I would make it the first few days instead of just one, covering my days in the hospital until the day I went home. And yes, I got an A. Open-mouthed smile


My First Days of Life

This is the story of my first days of life. I don’t remember much that happened to me back then. Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t remember anything. This essay is completely fabricated except for details told to me by my parents. All I know, is that I was once in a better place, a warm place, a place where I could sleep all day and not have to worry about pesky, annoying things, like eating and going to the bathroom.

One day, my world was turned upside down. The walls began closing into me! I was being ejected from my cozy, warm home! It was horrible! And it wouldn’t stop. But I wasn’t going anywhere. I was stuck. This went on for hours until it was decided that I needed to be cut free. Suddenly above me there was light. Bright, blinding light streamed in, searing my sensitive eyeballs. I screamed in horror as a hideous monster in a surgical mask reached down and grabbed me. What was he going to do with me? I looked around, screaming in absolute terror. I was completely surrounded by surgical masked monsters! I think that this is the reason that my memory from back then is so spotty. I was just so terrified that I don’t remember a whole lot from that first day.

Eventually I ended up in the arms of a very caring couple. They didn’t seem nearly as malevolent as all the brutes surrounding us. I figured they were probably all right, but I didn’t trust those evil gowned and masked creatures that poked me, prodded me, dunked me in water, and scrubbed me clean. How dare they?!

I wanted to go home. This place was so strange and unfamiliar, not to mention cold. One of the creatures wrapped me in a blanket, and that helped a little. At least I wasn’t going to die from the arctic chill of this new world I was being forced to live in. The only bright side was that there was so much more to look at than back home. Granted, back home there was nothing at all to look at, as there was no light there whatsoever. I couldn’t afford any lamps, what with being unemployed and all, so I just slept all day in the darkness. It really was rather boring there, but boring is much preferable to absolutely terrifying.

The monsters kept me locked in a glass cage surrounded by other miserable souls who had been subjected to the same dreadful treatment. The only bright spot was when they took me to see the nice couple from the first day. The lady fed me, and she was an awesome cook! I really should have asked for the recipe. I learned that her name was “Mom” and his name was “Dad.” I think they were being held captive there too. At least we were allowed to see each other. I think that mom and dad were planning to spring me from that place, but the monsters had her trapped in a big bed thing, and were demanding a ransom. At least they let us see each other once in a while. They must not all have been heartless beasts. But such visits were all too short.

Back in my cage I tried to get to know my neighbors. They had all had similar experiences. Some had gone through even worse. One guy said that the monster that extracted him from his home had actually slapped him on his rear end! It wasn’t enough that he had to endure being evicted from his own home, but then to be beaten by his tormenter? It was just terrible. I sure felt sorry for that guy.

One day I caught a glimpse of my reflection. I had never seen myself before. Like I said earlier, I didn’t have any lights, or a mirror for that matter. I stared at myself in awe of my astoundingly awesome head of hair. I was a ginger! A lot of people look down on people with red hair. I think they are just jealous of how amazing it looks. Alas, my extraordinarily good looks were not meant to be. The trauma from that first day was just too much for my young body to handle, and all my beautiful red hair fell out, never to return. My hair eventually grew back, but aside from the odd highlight here and there, it was brown.

One day, one of the creatures came into my room and picked me up. I figured it was time for one of my regular visits to Mom and Dad. But this was no ordinary visit! This creature was a spy! A traitor to her own kind, she helped Mom and Dad smuggle me out of the hospital and away to freedom! I often wonder what became of her. Was she successful? Did the other masked monsters ever discover her treachery? I hope she was able to free some of my prison buddies. They were a bunch of good guys. I miss them.

My life has turned out pretty well since then. Mom and Dad let me live with them, and they bought me clothes so I wouldn’t have to depend on the blanket from that creature. They fed me and taught me how to read. They buy me stuff on the anniversary of the day the monsters took me from my home. I’m not really sure why. I think a better date would be the anniversary of the day that we escaped from that place. Now that I have grown up, I have gotten used to this world. It’s not so bad I guess. I miss my red hair though. My only consolation is that now that I am old enough for facial hair my beard is red. Deep down, my body remembers what color my hair is supposed to be.


  1. So awesome and creative! Congratulations on a great piece! Love it! Your mom's friend from way back BEFORE the monsters. Debbie Riley Richardson

  2. Jonathan, you are such a kick! A creative kick at that! At least your odd story kind of made sense!