Portrait of a Killer

In my Comp 1 class last week, we were given the assignment of choosing a name from a list of famous historical figures and then using the photograph provided write a vivid description of them. I chose John Wiles Booth. I didn’t really find him to be a very menacing looking man, considering it was he who shot and killed Abraham Lincoln, so I did what I usually do. I got creative. And in Comp 1 creativity gets A’s. Too bad this doesn’t work for math classes…

One cannot tell by looking at this photo, that this man is a deadly assassin. His thick, curly hair and lavish style of dress make him look more like a charming lady’s man than a savage president killer.
Once one knows that this is the man who murdered our 16th president, one begins to notice a few more things about him that might give away his criminal personality. Notice first, the mustache. It is a well-known fact that all the best villains (Or the worst, depending on your point of view) have long mustaches so that they may twirl them in their fingers as they cackle malevolently after completing their latest evil scheme. Also notice his eyes. At first glance they do not look that evil, but if you stare into them long enough, you begin to wonder what sort of wicked thoughts might be churning through his mind. The last and most telling thing about him is the placement of his hand. It is quite obvious that this man has something to hide. Could it be that this picture was taken on the very day that he murdered Lincoln, and he has his gun hidden in his jacket right now? We may never know…

Some of our assignments take place in a discussion forum, so we can read and comment on other students' work. One of the other students chose Harriet Beecher Stowe, the author of Uncle Tom’s cabin. I’m not sure how it will do according to the standards of our teacher, but it sure made me laugh. I’ll copy and paste it here, so that you all can share in the humor.

She looks like a very elderly lady that has lived her full life and is ready to croak. She looks like a very friendly lady.
It looks like she didn't dress very well but maybe that is nice clothes for that era. Being the author of a book she was probably 
a wealthy aged women. I bet she smelled like an elderly women. She probably had a raspy old voice.

Yeah. I really cracked up at that one.