Saturday, April 2, 2016

I'm Married!

Well, the deed is done. No longer will I be plagued with people demanding that I conform to society and get married, simply because everyone else is. Sweet freedom.

I found out that my bride's name is actually Olga Yana. It turns out that Olga is not a town in Kyrgyzstan, she's from Bishkek, and Ludmila is actually her middle name. Like I said, the website was written in very poor English.

We were married in a private ceremony outside the Kum & Go next to the airport. We wanted to get married in the airport by the baggage claim, as that would be far more romantic, but the TSA kicked us out. They said we looked suspicious. I think they were just Russist.

Since we needed some witnesses, we used the only people we could find nearby, a teenage girl with a mohawk, a clown who had stopped at the Kum & Go for a rainbow slushie, and a guy who might have been homeless. He didn't smell very good. But then again, the clown smelled funny too.

As promised, I got some pictures of us after the ceremony. Enjoy. :)


Ha! I'm not getting married! Since when am I the type to submit to peer pressure? Or societal norms? I have no plans to get married until something happens that's beyond my control!

This is my fifth year of writing an April Fools post. I look forward to April 1st like Christmas! If you'd like to see my past years' pranks, you can find them below.

Becoming a homeless street mime: Click HERE & HERE.

Becoming an interpretative dancer: Click HERE & HERE.

Auditioning for DWTS: Click HERE & HERE.

Joining a cult: Click HERE & HERE.

And if you want to re-read this year's, click HERE.

No comments:

Post a Comment